Chapter 1: The Name Game
Chapter Text
Itsuka Kendo created a groupchat
Itsuka Kendo added Yosetsu Awase, Sen Kaibara, Togaru Kamakiri, Shihai Kuroiro, Yui Kodai, Kinoko Komori, Ibara Shiozaki, Jurota Shishida, Nirengeki Shoda, Pony Tsunotori and Kosei Tsuburaba
Itsuka Kendo added Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Setsuna Tokage, Manga Fukidashi, Juzo Honenuki, Kojiro Bondo, Neito Monoma, Reiko Yanagi and Hiryu Rin
Itsuka Kendo named the groupchat "Class 2-B"
Kendo: Alright, this should work for now.
Kendo: Let's try not to blow this one up
Tokage changed their name to "Gex"
Gex: You're exaggerating we didn't blow it up
Shoda: It literally fried my phone.
Gex: Cause you have a shit phone dude :))
Tetsutetsu changed their name to "REAL STEEL"
REAL STEEL: Honestly it was THE COOLEST thing ever when my phone EXPLODED so THANK YOU!!!
REAL STEEL: I didn't even know it could DO that!!!
Kendo: Clearly we need to lay down ground rules this time
Kendo: No spamming the chat with 15 GB of Reaction Gifs
Kendo: This is directed at you Manga
Manga Fukidashi changed their name to "Fart"
Fart: I apologize for absolutely nothing.
Kendo: Manga we talked about your display name
Fart: Right my bad
Fart changed their name to "Burp"
Burp: There we go
Kendo: Next, no using the group chat to stream the entirety of Shrek 2
Kendo: Tokage this is directed at you
Gex: No Fun Allowed, got it
Kendo: Third, if your G key gets stuck, just close your phone. Do not leave it on all night spamming "GGGGGGGGGG" in the chat
Kendo: Bondo
Bondo: My bad
Kendo: Fourth, do NOT share torrent sites in this group chat that could contain harmful viruses
Shishida: That was literally ONE time and it's not my fault Shiozaki is technologically illiterate
Shiozaki: Yes, I accept all the blame. Please punish me for my misdeed, Kendo
Kendo: Not responding to any part of that
Kendo: Finally, no using the group chat to talk shit about our classmates
Kendo: I feel like I don't need to explain who this one is for
Monoma changed their name to "Joker"
Joker: I am a hater and I own that. I love hating actually
Honenuki: Oh cool new group chat
Honenuki: I forgot what my nickname was last time
Gex: It was Mr Teeth
Gex: Trust me lizards have crazy good memory
Tsuburaba: Wrong
Tsuburaba: It was 'Iida's bitch'
Tsuburaba: I'm 100% certain
Burp: Juzo your name should be Soft & Wet
Honenuki: Sure that sounds fun
Honenuki changed their name to "Soft & Wet"
Burp: Jojo superiority
Shishida changed their name to "Big Guy"
Big Guy: Soft & Wet isn't even the right stand. He's more like Spice Girl
Burp: Spice Girl is RUBBER dumbass
Burp: Big Guy more like Big Gay
Kamakiri changed their name to "Scyther"
Scyther: Jojo is for fucking losers. Watch One Piece
Burp: Shut up Silver Chariot
Scyther: What does that even mean
Big Guy: Jojo stand
Burp: Shiozaki is Love Deluxe. Kendo is The Hand. Tsubaraba is Stray Cat.
Sen Kaibara: Does that mean I'm Tusk
Burp: Actually yeah you're literally Tusk lmao
Burp: I would be Star Platinum cause we both shout a lot
Big Guy: Dude
Burp: What do you want Bear Man
Big Guy: You're Echoes
Burp: I am NOT ECHOES SHUT UP
Pony: Hello Class 2-B! We are a new chatroom now. Let's make sure we keep it in always! Thank you for the food!
Soft & Wet: [You should only say that when you are going to eat, Pony]
Pony: Aaah, I see. Thank you Juzo
Pony: I can change my name to anything in this chat? Everyone else is changing to their names
Kendo: Sure, Pony, but you don't have to change your name. Shoda and I haven't changed our names
Pony changed their name to "Horny"
Kendo: Pony, I
Kendo: Really don't think that's what you should change it to
Horny: But I have horns. It is my power
Horny: I always wanted a funny nickname to be called! Please call me Horny!
Gex: Monoma how do you say great name in English. Tell her I said her name is amazing
Burp: Tell her we will absolutely call her Horny
Joker: Absolutely not
Gex: JUZO YOU TELL HER
Soft & Wet: [Tokage and Manga love your nickname]
Joker: Juzo I appreciate that you and I are the most fluent English speakers in UA's 2nd year students, even better than Class A, but PLEASE don't do this
Tsuburaba changed their name to White Airforce Energy
White Airforce Energy: What do you guys think? W nickname?
REAL STEEL: MONUMENTAL W!!!
Burp: L
Gex: L tbh
Scyther: L
Kaibara: L it's too long
White Airforce Energy: Shut the fuck up Seto Kaiba your mom thought it was too long too
Kaibara: Actually Seto Kaiba goes hard asf Yu-Gi-Oh was my shit
Kaibara changed their name to "Seto Kaiba"
Seto Kaiba: You're a third-rate baller with fourth-rate drip
White Airforce Energy: Literally nobody asked you
Shoda: What about "Air Jordans"?
White Airforce Energy changed their name to "Air Jordans"
Air Jordans: Better?
Gex: W
REAL STEEL: Even BIGGER W!!
Big Guy: W
Scyther: W
Seto Kaiba: Still an L
Air Jordans: Shut the fuck up Iida's side bitch
Air Jordans: You're not even his main bitch, you're his side bitch, Kaibara
Bondo changed their name to "Superglue"
Superglue: Ok my turn. W or L?
Burp: Kinda generic. Not enough personality. L
Gex: I like it. Would be a sick hero name. W
REAL STEEL: In AWE at the SIZE of this W!!
Air Jordans: L tbh. Just isn't really doing it for me
Seto Kaiba: I'm gonna say L
Superglue changed their name to "Jamrs Bondo"
Jamrs Bondo: Better?
Air Jordans: Oh shit yeah that's actually really cool.
Burp: Better. W name
Seto Kaiba: W I like this one more
Shoda: I think you misspelled James though
Jamrs Bondo: Oh yeah gimme a sec
Jamrs Bondo changed their name to "qjajslfff"
qjajslfff: DAMNIT
qjajslfff: MY GLUE GOT ON MY PHONE SCREEN AGAIN
Burp: W name don't change it
Gex: I agree. You don't choose the name. The name chooses you
Air Jordans: I like qjajslfff the most so far yeah
Scyther: qjajslfff is just catchy. I'm jealous you got such a cool ass name
qjajslfff: ???????
Seto Kaiba: qjajslfff... That truly does embody who you are, Bondo
qjajslfff: Are you guys messing with me
Soft & Wet: Nah I think it's a pretty cool name
Big Guy: How do you pronounce that
Burp: However you want. That's the magic of it.
Awase changed their name to "Will Smith"
Burp: Isn't that the same name you had in the last groupchat
Will Smith: If it ain't broke don't fix it
Rin changed their name to "Bruce Lee"
Bruce Lee: What's up guys
Kendo: Oh my GOD Hiryu!! Pony called you Bruce Lee ONCE. ONE TIME!!
Gex: And it was the first day of class
Air Jordans: She didn't call him Bruce Lee she asked if he was related to Bruce Lee. That's better I think
Burp: At least she didn't ask any of us. She knows not ALL Asians look the same
Seto Kaiba: Manga you literally look like a sentient speech balloon what the fuck are you talking about
Burp: Just cause I look like a speech balloon doesn't mean I can't be racially aware. Way to be insensitive, Sen
Shoda: Hiryu we already spoke to Pony about this multiple times we're sorry she said that
Bruce Lee: Nah LOL you guys can relax. Ik she didn't meaning anything by it I just think it's funny
Horny: Hiryu also created me a name!
Bruce Lee: What's up, Madonna?
Horny: Nothing Much!
Seto Kaiba: I think you two just singlehandedly solved racism
Yanagi changed their name to "Big Tit Goth GF"
Big Tit Goth GF: What's good dipshits
Joker: Can you PLEASE change your name Yanagi
Shoda: Reiko, thats not an appropriate name. What if Sensei joined the chat?
Air Jordans: Uhm??? Hello??? What about the fact that she called us dipshits???
Kendo: You guys are kind of dipshits I'm with her on that one
Gex: I also object to the name.
Joker: THANK you Tokage
Gex: We've all seen you in the changing rooms Yanagi you are NOT a big titty goth gf
Big Tit Goth GF changed their name to "Goth GF"
Gex: Still no. Flat chest emo GF. Tell them the TRUTH
Goth GF: I told you I am NOT Emo
Gex: When you invited me to study in your room you had an actual witch's cauldron
Goth GF: Goth and Emo are NOT the same I will telekinetically throw you into the ocean if you say that to me again
Gex: Hot
Burp: Yeah Yanagi isn't emo. Kuroiro is emo
Kendo: Oh shit I think I forgot to invite Kuroiro
Kuroiro: No, I'm right here.
Kuroiro: I've uhm
Kuroiro: Been here the whole time.
Burp: Why didn't you say anything?
Kuroiro: Idk... Didn't have anything to say
Kuroiro: I don't think I'm emo though
Will Smith: Idk dude I've seen your playlist
Kuroiro: What's wrong with my playlist?
Will Smith: Twenty One Pilots is pretty emo
Kuroiro: I just think the music is catchy. I don't understand what they're saying half the time.
Air Jordans: Bro is NOT beating the Emo allegations
Kuroiro changed their name to "Not Emo"
Will Smith: I feel like this doesn't help your case man
Not Emo: I don't even like Twenty One Pilots that much tbh it's just leftover music from when I was in grade school. Most of their songs are awful anyways I haven't listened to them in forever
Komori: *Peeks in* Heyyyyy guys!! :3
Komori: OMG I LOVE Twenty One Pilots!! Their music is sooooooo catchy >u<
Komori: It's sad you don't like it anymore Kuro :((
Not Emo: Wait no that's not what I mean
Komori: I get that it's kinda cringy and emo but I don't care!! Their music is really different!
Not Emo: But... No I do actually feel like that too
Air Jordans: Yeah Kuroiro why would you invalidate her music tastes like that
Not Emo: But... You guys were doing it first?
Will Smith: We called you emo we never said there was anything wrong with that
Goth GF: Yeah I just don't like being stereotyped
Komori changed their name to "Toadette"
Toadette: You guys wanna play Jackbox tonight?? >:3c
Not Emo: Jackbox?
Gex: Oh I am SO in
Not Emo: I guess... What game?
Kendo: Yeah I could play
Seto Kaiba: Sounds fun I'll be there
Burp: Quiplash undefeated Queen checking in to defend my crown
Not Emo: Quiplash?
Pony: Oh I want to play! Its good for my Japanese
REAL STEEL: I fucking LOVE Jackbox!!!! I'm IN!!!!
Not Emo: Wait, what time?
Toadette: We need one more. Juzo you in?
Toadette: Idk around 11
Soft & Wet: Yeah sure I'll play
Not Emo: Oh, I'll play too!
Toadette: That's 8!!! ^w^
Gex: Sorry Kuroibro, we're full. Why didn't you say anything earlier?
Not Emo: Oh. Okay.
Kendo: I feel like we're still missing someone
Kodai changed their name to "Hello"
Kendo: Yui that's not where you type your messages
Hello: Hello
Kendo: Alright, well, that works too I guess
Burp: Meetup in Shinsou's empty room?
Air Jordans: Didn't we JUST fix the hole in the wall there
Kendo: The what
Gex: Tsubaraba you IDIOT???
Air Jordans: Oh. My bad. I forgot we were still in the Party Rock GC. Sorry Prez
Burp: There is no hole in the wall.
Will Smith: Not Anymore
Seto Kaiba: Don't tell Vlad Sensei also it was Shishida's fault
Big Guy: What the fuck dude
Shoda: I bet Class A's group chat is normal...
Chapter 2: Good Morning, Pony
Summary:
Honenuki is left in charge of the class for a bit
Notes:
I'm still fleshing out and introducing the dynamics and different personalities of these characters. Manga, Tokage and Tsuburaba are the unhinged chaotic goofsters, With Kaibara also joining in sometimes. I'll be talking more about each of them as more chapters come out, although by the end you should be able to infer everyone's personalities yourself, hopefully!
Chapter Text
THE GOONIES Groupchat (3:55 PM)
Pony: Hello Class B! Good Morning!! You're all Plus Ultra friends!!
Seto Kaiba: Morning? Its like 4 PM
Joker: [Pony, it's not morning. Its afternoon.]
REAL STEEL: Good MORNING PONY!!!!
Burp: Good Morning, Pony. Everybody wish Pony a good morning.
Air Jordans: Good Morning, Pony
Seto Kaiba: Of course, I was mistaken. Good Morning Pony!
Gex: Good Morning Pony
Toadette: Good morning, Pony XD
Soft & Wet: Good Morning Pony
Joker: Juzo don't encourage her Present Mic-sensei asked us to correct her when she's wrong
Soft & Wet: Yeah I'm sure it's morning in America
Will Smith: Goodmorning Pony
Bruce Lee: Zaoshanghao Madonna
Big Guy: I just got here but yeah Good Morning Pony
Pony: Thank you!! Excellent friends
Kendo: Alright, Hiryu, Shiozaki, Kuroiro, training ground is free, we're gonna have to practice that formation sensei told us about
Bruce Lee: Ok
Shiozaki: I am already there. Awaiting you all. Sending prayers 🙏🙏🙏
Not Emo: I'm omw right now
Kendo: Shoda's in charge while we're gone
Will Smith: It's just an hour, I really doubt we need somebody to always be in charge
Seto Kaiba: Shoda's at their internship today, Prez
Kendo: Oh. Right. Okay, Honenuki, you're in charge
Soft & Wet: Sounds Good
Joker: Why Honenuki? Shouldn't it be a democratic vote?
Kendo: No.
Air Jordans: Monoma do you genuinely think anyone would vote for you over Juzo in a democratic process
Joker: It's not about having power, it's about the principle of the matter.
Kendo: Okay fine. Anyone else wanna be nominated?
Gex: Oh I'm so in. Get ready to get your ass kicked Juzo
Soft & Wet: Cool
qjajslfff: Count me in too. I like my chances
Kendo: Okay. Anybody else?
Kendo: Alright vote
POLL: WHO SHOULD BE LEFT IN CHARGE WHILE WE TRAIN?
HONENUKI (75%)
TOKAGE (18.75%)
BONDO (6.25%)
MONOMA (0%)
Kendo: Okay Honenuki's in charge
Air Jordans: Monoma did you not even vote for yourself???
Joker: I told you, I just care about the principle.
Kendo: Alright, I'm at the training grounds. Talk to you guys later. Don't do anything stupid.
Gex: So... What are we doing today, Substitute president Honenuki sir?
Soft & Wet: Idk. Do whatever you guys want ig
Soft & Wet: I slept like shit last night
Soft & Wet: Probably just gonna take a nap
Joker: But you're supposed to be in charge. We voted for you to be in charge!
Soft & Wet: Yeah you right that's my bad
Soft & Wet: Tokage, you're in charge
Soft & Wet: Zzzzzz
Gex: Nice. Won't let you down sir
Joker: You CANT just do that???
Gex: Do you really want to do another vote
Joker: ...No
Burp: Miss Substitute Substitute President Tokage ma'am?
Gex: Yes Manga?
Burp: Permission to ask a question?
Gex: Granted
Burp: Hey Tetsu, I have a question
REAL STEEL: I LOVE QUESTIONS!!!!!!!
Burp: Remember when you were fighting Todoroki, and you were just taking all of his attacks?
REAL STEEL: AW YEAH! That was CRAZY intense! We even STILL spar sometimes! That Todoroki is a STRONG DUDE!!!!!!!
Joker: Manga I swear to god if you ask him what I think you're gonna ask him
Burp: Yeah I was watching. I just gotta say, that was amazing. How did you stay SO hard while fighting him?
REAL STEEL: That's a GREAT Question!!!!! Todoroki really pushed me to my LIMITS! Even I didn't think I could stay HARD for that long!!
Burp: Yeah, with all that effort, it must have been exhausting staying hard that whole time
REAL STEEL: When KIRISHIMA and I were doing our Hero Internships we REALLY TRAINED OURSELVES to the MAX to stay HARD for as LONG AS POSSIBLE!!!! Its all in your frame of mind!!!!
Gex: I don't think I've ever seen someone stay hard for as long as you, Tetsu
Air Jordans: Yeah I think you should see a doctor about that, dude
Gex: It must have felt so hot while you were fighting Todoroki
REAL STEEL: Oh YEAH!! You have NO Idea!! I think that's the HOTTEST guy I've ever fought!! Like the HOTTER he got, the HARDER I got!! Until we were both HOT and SWEATY and HOLDING ONTO EACH OTHER!!!!
Joker: Fuck everyone here
REAL STEEL: And T-Meister was even HARDER than I thought! I kept pounding at him and he didn't give!!!
Joker: Tetsu you HAVE to be doing this on purpose. There's no way.
REAL STEEL: Monoma do you remember yesterday how HARD you got after you touched me???
Gex: AYO??????
Burp: (TheRockEyebrowVineBoom.mp4)
Joker: Do NOT say it like that?????
Toadette: 0w0 congrats you two! I was wondering when Class B would get their first couple!!
REAL STEEL: YOU should join T-Meister & I when we train!!! Can you imagine how HOT it would be if you were touching T-Meister? Then I could take you both on!
Joker: I am never touching you or him ever
REAL STEEL: COME ON Monoma!! Let's have a THREE-WAY!!!
Joker: TETSU ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT MEANS!!
Burp: Aaaaaaand screenshotted
Horny: Monoma, you are going to have a three-way with Tetsu and Todoroki?
Joker: NO PONY NOT YOU TOO
Hello: I remember when he first touched Shishida during the entrance exams
Hello: He got so big so quickly. It was very impressive
Toadette: Oh my GOD Yui NO??????
Gex: WAIT NO KODAI YOURE TOO INNOCENT GET OUT OF HERE
Joker: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
qjajslfff: That's nothing. You guys should have seen him touching me during the licensing exams
qjajslfff: There was white sticky stuff everywhere
Joker: AASDFHAABHAAHAHABSDNSNS
Will Smith: You guys are actually crazy I think you broke Monoma
Kendo: I was gone for literally an hour what happened
Joker: HDHSHSKDKFMFNDNDKE
Kendo: Alright, got it
Private Messages: Itsuka Kendo / Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (5:10 PM)
Kendo: Tetsu they're talking about Sex
Tetsutetsu: OHHHHHHHHHHH That makes more sense actually!! Thanks Kendo!!!
Kendo: And don't say Three-Way when you mean a 3-person brawl. That's also a sex thing
Tetsutetsu: But... WAIT, are you SURE?
Kendo: Yes.
Tetsutetsu: I see. Thank you, Kendo.
Private Messages: Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu / Ejirou Kirishima (5:17 PM)
Tetsutetsu: Hey RED RIOT!!!
Kirishima: Hey REAL STEEL!!! I was just about to message you!
Kirishima: Bakugo and I are looking for a third again! You wanna come over to our dorms for a totally manly THREE-WAY?
Tetsutetsu: HELL YEAH!!!
Tetsutetsu: Hey RED RIOT!! Upon further review I am going to have to RESPECTFULLY Decline!! I'm WAY FLATTERED that you would ask me but I don't think I'm READY to do something like that with you, BUT I want you to know I'm OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITY maybe when we all get to know each other more!! Thank you!!
Kirishima: ??????
OFFLINE POV
Kirishima stared at the message on his phone, thoroughly perplexed, before turning it off. He turned to his boyfriend beside him.
"Tetsutetsu just backed out. Sorry Bakubro..."
Bakugo whipped his head around fiercely "The FUCK?!" he barked, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THICK-HEADED ALUMINUM ASSHOLE DITCHED US?!"
"I know! It's so weird! I really thought he'd be into it!" Kirishima replied. He looked down at his phone again and let out a frustrated sigh "Aw man, who are we supposed to train with now?"
Chapter 3: Order in the Court
Summary:
Tsuburaba hangs out with Class A for the day
Notes:
If you're confused, within the manga Shinsou canonically was given the choice of transfering to Class A or Class B, and Class B made him an elaborate dorm room to convince him to join. In this canon, he joined Class A instead, so his dorm room is vacant.
Chapter Text
GOOD MORNING PONY Groupchat (7:00 AM)
Shiozaki: (GoodMorning.mp4)
Will Smith: Shiozaki you've sent that same video in the chat every morning since we started school. Like I don't think you've ever missed a single day
Seto Kaiba: One time she lost her phone and couldn't send it and she legitimately fist fought me for my phone
Seto Kaiba: No hair powers or anything. Just her fists
Seto Kaiba: To be clear, I would have lent her the phone if she asked, but she just started throwing hands at me
Shiozaki: I am very sorry for harming you, brother Kaibara. Please forgive me
Seto Kaiba: Nah dw that broken nose got me out of chemistry class
Bruce Lee: Hello Kaibara can I please have my pencil back
Seto Kaiba: Hello Rin. I would if I had it. But I do not.
Seto Kaiba: Unrelated but Shoda can I borrow a pencil for class today
Shoda: Kaibara I gave you a box of mechanical pencils last week what happened to them
Seto Kaiba: Idk I think I left them in Shinsou's room
Kendo: Okay new class rule. Nobody gives Kaibara any pencils.
Seto Kaiba: Wait what? Why?
Kendo: You won't learn if we keep enabling you
Seto Kaiba: I'm sorry you try having DRILLS for HANDS and maybe you'd accidentally crush a pencil or two between your fingers too
Kendo: Good. Then this will be great quirk training for you too
Seto Kaiba: What kind of class president tries to stop me from succeeding in class. I demand we impeach Kendo
Kendo: You know the rules
Kendo: Only whoever can beat me in single combat can take my place.
qjajslfff: Why did we even agree to that
Air Jordans: Hey where are you guys
Air Jordans: Holy shit am I really the first one to class today?
Air Jordans: I'm beginning my redemption arc
Seto Kaiba: Wait
Seto Kaiba: Nobody tell him
Seto Kaiba: pLEASE I AM BEGDING YOJ DONT TELL GIM
Air Jordans: ???
Kendo: Tsuburaba it's the 14th we're in the Simulations room today
Seto Kaiba: NO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH FUNNIER FOR HIM TO FIGURE IT OUT HIMSELF
Air Jordans: What the FUCK
Air Jordans: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT
Air Jordans: THATS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS
Burp: Get moving blow boy
Air Jordans: Nah forget that
Air Jordans: I'm just gonna sit in on Class A today. Their homeroom teacher just saw me in the hallways and told me to join his class or "stop breathing so loud"
Joker: No you fucking WON'T
Air Jordans: Too late I'm defecting to the enemy side
Joker: Tsuburaba you are DEAD to me
Air Jordans: Think I might transfer even
Joker: I will copy your power and blow you up like a fucking balloon animal you BITCH the next time I see yaanwnwnwwododddrJHH
Air Jordans: Who's yaanwnwnwwododddr?
Kendo: Sensei took his phone and is currently crushing him under a block of his blood while he does pushups
Air Jordans: Hahah nice
GOOD MORNING PONY Groupchat (5:22 PM)
Air Jordans: Class A was kinda fun tbh I think we're too mean to those guys.
Joker: Welcome Back CHEATER
Will Smith: Did you get to speak to Kaminari he owes me money
Air Jordans: No also when did you lend him money
Will Smith: 7 years ago
Will Smith: Our schools went on a joint field trip to Best Jeanist's hero agency
Will Smith: He wanted something from the snack bar but only their class were gonna pass by it so I gave him ¥3000 and asked him to get me some chips and a soda
Will Smith: I didn't see him for the rest of the day
Air Jordans: Do you think he even still remembers
Will Smith: I'll make him remember.
Burp: Holy shit he's gonna weld a cactus to his dick
Scyther: Wouldn't he have to touch his dick first
Burp: Small price to pay
Scyther: Top Tier Villain Origin Story tbh
Seto Kaiba: Top 10 Villains who were Right
Air Jordans: I'm sorry Awase I did not get to speak to Kaminari I was sitting next to Shojo
Air Jordans: Shoja
Air Jordans: The tentacles mask guy
Goth GF: His name is Shoji
Goth GF: Did you talk to him
Burp: Reiko were you lurking in this chat the whole time
Goth GF: No
Goth GF: No I wasn't
Goth GF: Tsuburaba did you speak to Shoji
Air Jordans: Uhhh yeah a bit why
Burp: Does he owe you money too
Burp: We should start a union
Goth GF: Is he like. You know.
Air Jordans: Is he what?
Goth GF: Is he straight?
Air Jordans: I... didn't ask him that?
Toadette: OwO Reiko do you have a crush????
Goth GF: Not a crush. He's just cool. I need more cool friends
Gex: Wowwwwwwwww okay. You're uninvited to Boba on Saturday
Goth GF: I said MORE cool friends
Gex: Re-invited. But you're on thin ice.
Goth GF: I just think he's a cool person and we could hang out sometime
Goth GF: I like his sense of style
Goth GF: Tall quiet mysterious guy
Goth GF: Hiding his face
Goth GF: Big Monstrous Arms
Gex: Reiko what if he has like a horrifying face under the mask
Gex: Like just a never-ending row of teeth
Gex: Like what if he looks exactly like Honenuki
Soft & Wet: Good one
Goth GF: Good. I hope his face looks absolutely terrifying
Goth GF: I hope it scares me
Burp: Objection
Burp: Why do you need to know if he's straight if you just wanna be friends?
Goth GF:
Goth GF:
Goth GF: Uhm
Toadette: She has a crush!! She has a cruuuuush >:3
Burp: Your Honor, the verdict?
Kendo: Jury's still out but the verdict is looking like it's a crush
Gex: Objection
Gex: Your Honor, my client is simply homophobic. She refuses to hang out with any queer people.
Goth GF: Tokage no
Gex: DW sis I gotchu
Shiozaki: To think our own classmate would be succumbing to hatred... I can understand your Close-Mindedness, sister Yanagi, I hope you can find the peace within yourself to accept others.
Horny: Why are you homophobic, Yanagi?
Seto Kaiba: Wtf BASED Yanagi??
Hello: Yanagi is "based"?
Hello: I don't understand. Based on what?
REAL STEEL: Yanagi I think you should SELF-REFLECT on WHY you feel the way you do towards LGBT people who are JUST trying to LIVE THEIR TRUTH! There may be a Deep-Seated reason linked to YOUR OWN insecurities!!
Goth GF: NOT Homophobic
Kendo: Order in the court
Burp: Objection, your honor, either the defendant is Homophobic or they have a crush
Gex: OBJECTION
Gex: I had intercourse with your mother
Kendo: Overruled, Miss Tokage
Goth GF: Y'know what fuck all of you
Goth GF: Yeah I like him he's hot as fuck and I want to make out with him I love a big quiet monster of a man okay
Goth GF: You can all suck my dick
Joker: Yanagi not you too
Joker: First Shiozaki and the FROG and now YOU??? AND THE TENTACLE MAN??? HES NOT EVEN ONE OF THE CUTE ONES!!!
Gex: Hold up. Out of sheer curiosity Monoma WHICH ones are the cute ones, exactly? In your opinion?
Joker:
Joker: I plead the fifth, your honor
Kendo: Kaibara, Let the record show witness Monoma refused Testimony
Seto Kaiba: I would if I had a fucking pencil
Chapter 4: The Room
Summary:
Class B find out that somebody locked Shinsou's room.
Notes:
Challenged myself to include everyone this time and not have it just be a one-sided convo with the goofster squad. Expect the others to show up more in future chapters as well I want all the Class B kids to shine in their own way
Chapter Text
GOOD MORNING PONY Group Chat (4:00 PM)
Gex: Ok so just curious did anyone else completely bomb that Math test or was it just me
Burp: No I did really good on it actually. 82%
Gex: Bullshit
Burp: No really. Kendo helped me cram
Kendo: Y'know Tokage you could always come study with us
Gex: Counterpoint I could be playing Tears of the Kingdom
Shoda: Everyone.
Shoda: I have bad news.
Kendo: What's up Shoda
Air Jordans: What's wrong dude
Will Smith: What is it
qjajslfff: Are we under attack again???
Shiozaki: What has befallen us, brother Shoda?
Burp: Yeah what's the bad news
Gex: He is taking REALLY long to type this isn't like him
Seto Kaiba: I don't know what it could be but I'm scared now
Bruce Lee: What's happening? Shoda? Are you okay?
Shoda: It happened.
Kendo: Oh
Kendo: Oh NO
Big Guy: NO NOT NOW
Air Jordans: NO NO NO NO NO NO YOURE FUCKING WITH ME TELL ME YOURE FUCKING WITH ME SHODA
REAL STEEL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Shiozaki: THIS IS A CATASTROPHE
Horny: [FUCK]
Bruce Lee: FUCK
Kendo: Wait who taught Rin how to curse in Japanese
Bruce Lee: Manga
Burp: TAMA DE!
Kendo: Okay and I'm assuming in exchange you taught him how to curse in Chinese
Bruce Lee: That is not curse word
Bruce Lee: Its a polite Chinese proverb
Bruce Lee: Means "I love my amazing friends"
Kendo: I'll get to you two later
Goth GF: Oh god damnit
Soft & Wet: This sucks
Big Guy: GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHSHSHSJSJSJSKDOSOWPWSKSNSNSKSKSKSKDKDKDNDN I'M FUCKJJG LOSING IT
Gex: Hold on Shoda does this mean what I think it means?
Shoda: Certain.
Shoda: Lock was changed, I can tell.
Shoda: Shinsou's Room is locked.
Shoda: Which means somebody told Kan-sensei
Seto Kaiba: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Burp: I left my entire manga collection in there????
Air Jordans: I left my PS4 Controllers in there this is actually so fucked
Gex: WE WERE GONNA STREAM THE BARBIE MOVIE IN THERE TONIGHT
Gex: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT
REAL STEEL: THIS is WHY we can't have NICE THINGS!!!!
Scyther: Okay, who snitched
Scyther: I'm not mad. I'm just going to CUT YOU OPEN FOUR NEW ORIFICES EACH ONE BIGGER THAN THE LAST
Shiozaki: Monoma. I just know it was Monoma.
Shiozaki: Monoma you little blonde haired bitch you better hope my vines don't find you tonight or I am going to completely desecrate your body you piece of shit I hope you're running and hiding right now quivering in fear so I can see you cry while I squeeze your organs out
Horny: [MONOMA YOU SNITCH MOTHERFUCKER I'M GOING TO RAM MY HORNS THROUGH YOUR EYEBALLS SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN]
REAL STEEL: MONOMA I AM USUALLY NOT THE TYPE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE AGAINST MY FRIENDS BUT IF I SEE YOU IN CLASS TOMORROW I HOPE YOU KNOW I AM LIKELY GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE
Bruce Lee: Monoma. Tonight, you are our prey.
Big Guy: MONOMAAAAAJSNDNENERRRJRJENE
Joker: WAIT IT WASNT ME I SWEAR IT WAS NOT ME I DIDNT TELL KAN SENSEI
Scyther: Bullshit. I am tracking you down right now Monoma I am going to beat you to death right now
Goth GF: I'll float him up into the air and we can all take turns hitting him like a pinata
Joker: NO PLEASE I SWEAR I CAN PROVE IT
Kendo: Okay hold on everyone
Kendo: Let's hear him out. Maybe he can prove it.
Kendo: But if you're lying, I am going to shove my fist down your throat and expand it
Joker: I WAS WITH HONENUKI ALL DAY TODAY WE WERE WORKING ON OUR HERO HISTORY PRESENTATION
Kendo: Can you confirm, Juzo?
Soft & Wet: Yeah Monoma was with me
Joker: WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING TO DEFEND ME EARLIER????
Soft & Wet: Idk
Soft & Wet: It was kinda funny
Joker: Watching Barbie today was LITERALLY my idea?? I even got the most perfect pink outfit to wear today!! Tokage tell them about it PLEASE
Gex: I can also confirm he sent me like 16 pictures of his Barbie fit it actually goes kinda hard
Gex: Sorry I didn't say anything earlier Monoma I also thought it was funny seeing people mad at you
Joker: It's okay I'll take the compliment on my outfit as an apology
Shiozaki: Please forgive me, Brother Monoma. I let my emotions overwhelm me
Goth GF: Hold up if it wasn't Monoma then who snitched
REAL STEEL: HONESTY is the best Policy! So whoever it was, just be HONEST so we can BEAT YOU UP and move on!!!
Scyther: I need to beat someone up NOW
Kendo: Idk who it is that snitched to Kan Sensei but for now let's focus on getting the room door open again.
Soft & Wet: I could just touch the door and then we can pass through it
Shoda: No, the doors are protected with a thick layer of quirk-repelling film to protect against villains with emitter quirks
Scyther: Alright. Me, Kendo, Shishida, Kaibara, Tetsu and Monoma let's all just SMASH that fucking door to PIECES
Shoda: If we damage the doors too much it might trip the school security sensors and initiate a lockdown
Gex: I could split myself into like a hundred pieces and then reassemble myself on the other side of the door
Kendo: A HUNDRED? Have you ever split into that many pieces before?
Gex: No but I'm willing to try
Kendo: I have a better plan. Where's Kuroiro?
Not Emo: I'm here
Kendo: Where were you?
Not Emo: I was here. I just don't talk much
Not Emo: Sorry
Kendo: Kuro we need you to slip through the door do you think you could do that
Not Emo: ldk... They're really secure... What if there are defenses against quirks like mine in place?
Bruce Lee: Sad
REAL STEEL: COME ON KUROIBRO!! We NEED you!!
Kendo: No, he's right. We might have to try a different plan
Toadette: guys... I left my Shemage hat in there >n< what if they confiscated it? ;-;
Not Emo: Wait.
Not Emo: I'll do it.
Kendo: Oh okay then
Burp: LETS GO KUROIBRO THE GOAT!!!!!
Private Messages: Sekijiro Kan / Hitoshi Shinsou (5:35 PM)
Shinsou: Hello sir I just wanted to thank you again for letting me stay in the room your class prepared for me
Shinsou: Really, this is way too kind
Shinsou: Seriously, I'm still not used to people being nice to me
Sekijiro: That's enough, young man. You don't know this but your dad Aizawa and I were in the same hero agency as young startups
Sekijiro: He asked me to help you with these remedial courses and I intend to treat you as one of my own students
Sekijiro: That includes sleeping amongst them. I won't make you walk across campus every day for these extra courses. You'll stay in our dorms next week.
Shinsou: Thank you sir
Sekijiro: No, no need for that, call me Uncle Vlad
Shinsou: Thanks Uncle Vlad
Sekijiro: Don't YOU get familiar with me now! I'm not your uncle while I'm teaching you, broom-hair! I'm your SENSEI! You WILL refer to me as Vlad King Sensei, SIR! Understood?
Shinsou: Yes Vlad King Sensei Sir
Sekijiro: You've got a lot of potential. You know, I was one of the votes to transfer you to the Hero Course. Don't let us down!
Shinsou: Your students have been very kind to me as well. When I was in the room earlier I saw they left me a bunch of gifts. There were game controllers and manga.
Sekijiro: Of course they did! Class A aren't the only ones who treat each other like family! I knew I was getting through to those kids.
Sekijiro: Oh God
Sekijiro: Oh No.
Shinsou: What's that
Shinsou: There's an alarm blaring. Is that normal? Are we under attack?
Sekijiro: REMAIN CALM. This alarm triggers when the campus is being invaded. I repeat, stay with your class, I have to go to my students NOW
UA CAMPUS AUTOMATED ALERT MESSAGE: AN INTRUDER HAS BEEN DETECTED! DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMPUS. A WALL WILL BE RAISED SHORTLY TO PROTECT YOU. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOMS. HELP IS ARRIVING. AN INTRUDER HAS BEEN DETECTED! DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMPUS. A WALL WILL BE RAISED SHORTLY TO PROTECT YOU. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOMS. HELP IS ARRIVING
GOOD MORNING PONY Groupchat (5:40 PM)
Gex: We are so fucking expelled
Not Emo: I am so sorry guys I'm so sorry I fucked up
Kendo: Shut up. No we wont. No you didn't.
Burp: We have a MILITARY AIR DEFENSE SYSTEM IN THIS SCHOOL?!?
Bruce Lee: Goodbye, friends. I will most likely be deported after this
Hello: Loud. Too loud. Too loud. Too loud. Too loud. Too loud. Too loud
Kendo: Everyone CALM DOWN
Kendo: Okay. Here's the plan.
Kendo: Everyone gets to their rooms Right Now.
Kendo: If anyone asks, this was Class A's fault.
Kendo: The League of Villains came to attack them
Kendo: And we were here the whole time. Studying.
qjajslfff: Do you think they'll still believe us after last time
Kendo: Trust me. Works every time.
Chapter 5: Filler Episode
Summary:
Hiryu loses his social credit score
Notes:
I wrote this one mostly to goof off while I was bored, it's a shorter chapter with some loose jokes I wanted to make in other chapters that couldn't fit all sorta cobbled together. So, fittingly, it's a filler episode
Chapter Text
THE B MOVIE Groupchat (1:33 PM)
Kendo: Alright everyone. Shinsou's taking the remedial courses with us to help him catch up to Class A
Kendo: Everyone, PLEASE be cool
Burp: I'm always cool, mama
Kendo: Manga I swear to god
Gex: Okay, show of hands, who's planning on seducing him
Will Smith: I'm pretty sure he's taken, Tokage
Gex: I knew that
Will Smith: Like, gay taken. He's gay.
Gex: So's Spaghetti until it gets hard
Shoda: I
Shoda: What
Shoda: Huh?????
Kendo: Nobody's flirting with him. Especially not you Tokage you flirt with everyone
Gex: I'm pansexual it's what I do sis
Bruce Lee: Tokage don't look
Bruce Lee: I am going to post something lewd don't look at it Tokage
Kendo: Do NOT post anything R-18 in this chat Rin
Bruce Lee: (CookingPans.png)
Bruce Lee: R-18
Gex: Dude...
Gex: Those are SO hot
Kendo: Yeah okay I should have seen that one coming
Gex: Just look at the curves oh my GOD
Gex: Do you have their numbers Rin
Bruce Lee: Sorry I don't :( they're very popular pans
Gex: Damn. Yeah the Skillets are always taken
Burp: Rin where did you find those naked pan pictures? On the INTERNET?
Bruce Lee: Yeah are you going to snitching?
Burp: That's it. I'm gonna have to report you for that one brother Rin
Seto Kaiba: Brother Rin that's minus 200 social points. Not very Bing Chilling of you
Air Jordans: Rin. The Chinese Government is on the phone Rin. I think it's for you.
Air Jordans: They don't sound happy dude
Bruce Lee: Oh no
Bruce Lee: What did are they saying?
Air Jordans: Zaoshanghao Zonghuo. Xian Zai Wo Yo Bing Chilling
Bruce Lee: No... They got me. I will be deported now friends. I am returning to my family's ancestral sweatshop to make more phones and support items until our social credit score is returned
Seto Kaiba: Godspeed, brother Rin
Big Guy: What the fuck is going on
Hello: Rin please don't go
Hello: Rin don't go we would miss you
Joker: LOOK WHAT YOU ALL DID. SHES CRYING. YOU MADE KODAI CRY
Gex: Yui honey it's a joke!!! He's not really going back to China we're joking!!! He's staying here with us
Air Jordans: Sorry Kodai we were joking
Bruce Lee: I was not serious Kodai. I am not going to leave.
Hello: Ok
Hello: Thank you
Burp: Anyways what were we talking about again
Shoda: Shinso is joining the class next week
Burp: Oh right
Kendo: Don't worry, I have a better plan.
Kendo: I'm just gonna have to crush your bones enough that you'll just be stuck in the infirmary by the time he joins, so he doesn't have to interact with any of you
Gex: Sounds hot. I'm in
Chapter 6: New Friend
Summary:
Shinsou gets added to the Class B Groupchat. It goes about as well as you might think.
Notes:
This one was kinda rushed but I wanted to write it out while I still had the ideas fresh in my head. Might come back and fix it up in the future. It's a little bit longer as well. I wrote this all in one shot.
Chapter Text
THE B MOVIE Groupchat (4:30 PM)
Kendo added Hitoshi Shinsou to the Group Chat
Kendo: Alright Shinsou. Welcome to the Class B Groupchat! We hope you enjoyed your first day with us!
Shinsou: Hello everyone
Shinsou: Thank you for having me, Kendo, everyone.
Burp: Sorry for dropping a 15ft kanji on you during the training sim dude I was aiming at Monoma
Shinsou: It's okay. Please treat me like you would anyone else in the hero course :)
Gex: Alright. Cool.
Joker: Shinsou, How is Eri? Is she eating well?
Shinsou: She's fine. She's with Class A right now.
Joker: Ah
Joker: Class A
Joker: Of Course.
Joker: I hope they're treating her well.
Shinsou: Yeah she loves them. They always treat her really well.
Joker: Well. I'm v
Joker: Vveey glad t hat shes happppy there withw fhem
Joker: One..Second,,,,,, please
Private Messages: Neito Monoma / Itsuka Kendo (4:53 PM)
Monoma: Hello Kendo can I please borrow your quirk for a moment
Kendo: You gonna go break stuff with it again?
Monoma: Yes.
Kendo: Sure yeah give me a bit
THE B MOVIE Groupchat (4:55 PM)
Goth GF: Tokage, we still going out for girls night tonight?
Gex: You fucking know it dude. I gotta make sure nobody beat my DDR score at the Arcade
Shoda: I don't think that's physically possible since you cheat
Gex: It's not cheating if I just happen to be able to press all the buttons at once Shoda. Don't be a sore loser
Shoda: That's not how the game was meant to be played!
Gex: Sounds like a skill issue
Shinsou: Oh, Tokage, actually I was hoping you could help me fit up my room tonight
Gex: Huh? I mean, Shinsou I love ya but this is girls night
Shinsou: Remember my 8th birthday
Gex: Shinsou. Do not.
Shinsou: Don't what? Remember my birthday? My eigth birthday party?
Gex: I swear to fucking snsnsnsnsnwksospxlsnsnansnsjoxxoanabAHABSSNSNANANSNANAN
Burp: What is happening
Toadette: Tokage are u ok?
Hello: Tokage is screaming. I can hear her screaming in her room
Hello: I don't think she is okay
Gex: I am okay. Yui. Komori.
Gex: Unfortunately I don't believe I'll be able to make Girls night tonight. I have to help my cousin Shinsou fit up his room
Shinsou: Thank you Tokage
Seto Kaiba: ...Okay. What the fuck just happened. Did you just talk Tokage into doing chores instead of messing around?
Air Jordans: Did... Did Shinsou just brainwash Tokage through the CHAT?! HE CAN DO THAT NOW????????
Air Jordans: HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE COMPROMISED
Will Smith: ...Hold on. Tokage, what is Shinsou talking about
Gex: Nothing. He's not talking about anything. I just remembered he's my favorite cousin and I have to make sure he feels welcome in our class
Bruce Lee: I think she is hiding something.
Will Smith: Definitely hiding something. Shinsou did something happen on your eight birthday
qjajslfff: I am just finding out now that Tokage and Shinsou are cousins
Shinsou: Nothing happened.
Will Smith: I guess they're both not talking.
Scyther: I bet she murdered his parents.
Shoda: Kamakiri that's NOT something we can joke about with him please delete that
Scyther: Who said it was a joke
Goth GF: My money's also on murdered parents. Tokage you're hardcore that's something you would do and I wouldn't even be surprised
Shinsou: Lol dw about it I laughed
Shinsou: Tokage did you kill my parents
Gex: Hahah lol
Gex: Anyways, I think I have to do my homework now
Gex: Brb
Seto Kaiba: Okay now I KNOW something's wrong there's no way Tokage even remembered we HAD homework today
Burp: Okay I asked Tetsu
Burp: Apparently he doesn't know what happened either but he has heard them talk about it a lot before.
Goth GF: Well, I guess we're doing girls night without Tokage
Horny: Oh... That's shameful...
Goth GF: ? It's really not that bad Pony she didn't ditch us or anything?
Soft & Wet: Nah she didn't mean it
Soft & Wet: [Pony, you called Tokage shameful. You can't say "What a shame" in Japanese. It doesn't work]
Horny: Oh!!!! I'm so sorry Tokage!!! So sorry! So sorry! An accident! Forgive me please!
Hello: Hello Shinsou
Shinsou: ?
Shinsou: Hi
Shinsou: Did you need anything?
Hello: No. I'm saying Hello to you.
Shinsou: Oh. Okay. Hello, Kodai.
Hello: Hello Shinsou
Burp: Shinsou have you ever tried kissing Tokoyami while Dark Shadow sucks your dick
Will Smith: What the fUCK MANGA
Burp: I'm asking for research purposes.
Burp: Shinsou, is it technically a three way if youre having sex with Tokoyami and Dark Shadow at the same time
Shinsou: Never tried it
Burp was muted
Shoda: I am so sorry about that. They're not normally like that.
Shoda: ...
Shoda: Actually, no, that's how they are every day. Nevermind.
Hello: Shinsou
Shinsou: Yeah?
Hello: Your hair
Shinsou: Yeah? What about it?
Hello: Would you like to borrow my brush? I can give you my hair brush
Shinsou: No that's okay Kodai. Thank you
Hello: Okay Shinsou
Shoda: Kodai please don't say that about him
Shinsou: Don't worry so much. This isn't so bad
Air Jordans: Shinsou Manga wants to ask you if Tokoyami has Klonoa
Shinsou: One or Two?
Air Jordans: Not sure. Never played it.
Air Jordans: No wait. I wrote that wrong. Hes gonna tell me how to spell it
Air Jordans was muted
Shinsou: Aw. I wanted to know the question.
Hello: Shinsou it's me again
Shinsou: Yes hello again Yui
Hello: Would you like to borrow my mirror? Would you like to look into a mirror?
Shinsou: ? I mean, I have my own mirror in my room, but thank you again
Hello: You have a mirror? Did you look in your mirror today?
Shinsou: Looking at it right now. Pretty good mirror.
Hello: Okay. Would you like my hairbrush now?
Shinsou: ...No I'm still alright. Thank you Kodai
Hello: Okay.
Seto Kaiba: Shinsou Manga is here he wanted to ask you something
Seto Kaiba was muted
Shoda: Again, very sorry. They won't be bothering you for the rest of tonight, they just have a very strong sense of humor
Shinsou: You don't need to apologize so much
Shinsou: Also Manga can just ask me themself in person
Shoda: All three of them are in detention with Kan-sensei right now
Shinsou: Ah
Hello: Shinsou, may I tell you something?
Shinsou: Yeah what is it Kodai?
Hello: Your hair looks very bad. Why won't you brush it
Shoda: KODAI HE WANTS HIS HAIR THAT WAY
Hello: But I don't understand
Shoda: It's a style, Yui. He likes it like that.
Hello: Okay.
qjajslfff: Wow Kodai's really talkative today I wonder what's up with her
Hello: I like to listen to Tokage and Kendo and Manga speaking
Will Smith: Oh, yeah makes sense that usually the chat is moving like extra fast when Tokage and her goofster squad are here.
Not Emo: Plus Kendo and Monoma talk a lot too.
Will Smith: Oh dang, what's up Kuroiro. Look at that. Kuroiro speaks up when they're not here too
Goth GF: Nature is Healing
qjajslfff: ...Weirdly quiet now though. Feels almost wrong.
Not Emo: Yeah. I don't really know what to talk about honestly
Big Guy: Yeah this is. Too calm.
Shinsou: You didn't have to mute them all
Shinsou: Anyways I'll be back later. Seeya guys
Will Smith: Man. I still just. Don't get why Tokage was so weird today.
Scyther: Eeehh, it's her business. Who cares. I'm gonna watch some One Piece in the common room if you guys wanna watch with me
Not Emo: Oh sounds fun
Private Messages: Setsuna Tokage / Hitoshi Shinsou (7:00 PM)
Tokage: ONE time
Tokage: I dropped my eye in your birthday cake ONE time!!
Shinsou: Everyone was crying.
Tokage: I COULDNT CONTROL MY POWERS YET! IT WAS LITERALLY AN ACCIDENT!
Shinsou: All my friends left early. We had to pay for one of the kids' therapy
Tokage: HOW ARE YOU STILL HUNG UP ON THIS?
Shinsou: Nobody came to my ninth birthday after that
Tokage: I CAME! I WAS THERE!
Shinsou: Yeah, that's exactly why nobody else showed up.
Tokage: WELL I'M SORRY MY QUIRK WAS TOO COOL FOR YOUR FRIENDS now just let me help you with your room so I can still make girls night
Shinsou: Oh you don't have to help me with my room
Shinsou: I just wanted to mess with you lol
Tokage: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Shinsou: Yeah I'm sleeping in the Class A dorms tonight.
Tokage: That
Tokage: Was really funny actually lmao
Shinsou: Lmao
Chapter 7: Chocolate Milk
Summary:
Kuroiro makes weekend plans
Notes:
I made Sen Kaibara an intern at Wash's hero agency purely because I thought it would be funny to make a Spin Cycle joke at some point. I did not end up making that joke, but just know that it's there subtextually.
By the way, I recently realized Smithing =/= Welding, so Awase's name is now "Bandana Dee" courtesy of Seraph, thank you!
Chapter Text
Please B Cool Groupchat (12:34 PM)
REAL STEEL: What's up, BITCHES!?!!???
Kendo: Excuse me?
REAL STEEL: Hope we're all havin a BITCHIN Saturday!!!
Bandana Dee: Tetsu are you good dude
REAL STEEL: I'm feeling BETTER than Good! I'm feeling like the BADDEST BITCH in Class B!
Bruce Lee: Doesn't that mean a bad thing?
Kendo: I mean, kind of? In this context, it's, like, complicated
REAL STEEL: Where are my REAL BITCHES at!? Let's all get some training in! I'm ready to go, BITCH!
Gex: Okay,
Gex: One, this is absolutely fucking hilarious
Gex: Two, sorry but everyone already knows I'M the Baddest Bitch in Class B
Seto Kaiba: It's true
Seto Kaiba: She's Bad at everything
Gex: Thank you Sen
Gex: Three, Dude why are you saying bitch so much
Burp: I am so sorry you guys this is kinda my fault
Burp: Tsuburaba and I took him to see Ms Joke's stand-up show live last night
Burp: He hasn't stopped since we left
REAL STEEL: She's WAY Funny! Ms Joke IS THAT Bitch! She said it herself with SO MUCH confidence!
REAL STEEL: Everyone cheered for her! It really got me PUMPED! I wanna be as confident as she is!
REAL STEEL: BITCH!!!!
Goth GF: Oh my god he's such a Himbo
Seto Kaiba: Hold on
Seto Kaiba: You guys took TETSU to see Ms Joke instead of ME???
Air Jordans: Dude I asked you if you were busy last night
Seto Kaiba: NO
Seto Kaiba: You asked me if I was DOING anything last night
Air Jordans: Yeah, and what did you reply?
Seto Kaiba: I said I was doing your Mom, doing-doing your Mom
Air Jordans: And then what did you say
Seto Kaiba: I said I was chilling with Kuroiro and Honenuki
Air Jordans: So you were busy
Seto Kaiba: Not too busy to watch Ms Joke live!!! I would've ditched them in an instant!
Bandana Dee: lol that's kinda mean dude
Seto Kaiba: No offense, guys
Not Emo: No, that's fair.
Not Emo: I get it
Soft & Wet: None taken we're cool
Air Jordans: We can hang out tonight if you want, dude.
Seto Kaiba: Cant. I'm stuck working at my stupid internship tonight. I'm patrolling til 2 AM
Shoda: You're interning for a real Hero Agency Sen that's not stupid thats awesome
Seto Kaiba: Easy for you to say you're not working for a LAUNDRY MACHINE
Burp: That's cool, I was probably gonna go watch some anime with Kamakiri and Shishida tonight anyways
Air Jordans: Sounds boring. Count me in
Dark Corner Groupchat (1:19 PM)
(Kuroiro's Group Chat where he adds his friends)
Members: Kuroiro (Dark & Handsome), Awase (Yoyo), Kamakiri (Mihawk), Kaibara (Spin Doctor), Honenuki (Cool Guy)
Yoyo: This is actually a good opportunity for you, Kuroiro. Say that youre available this weekend and ask Komori to hang out
Dark & Handsome: Do you really think that'll work
Spin Doctor: You've gotta be approachable and confident, dude. Trust me.
Dark & Handsome: Idk... What if she's already got plans?
Cool Guy: Then ask if you can tag along. Just don't be obvious about it and play it cool
Cool Guy: Make it seem like you're not desperate to hang out with her, you're just down for anything.
Mihawk: And if she says no I'll cut her hair to shreds
Dark & Handsome: Okay, I'll try...
Dark & Handsome: Thanks guys
Please B Cool Groupchat (1:25 PM)
Not Emo: Yeah I'm not really doing anything this weekend
Big Guy: Wdym? Weren't you going to watch Jujutsu Kaisen with us tonight?
Not Emo: I
Not Emo: Uhhh
Scyther: He already watched it with me earlier today. It was a good episode, right Kuroiro?
Not Emo: Yeah
Burp: Without us? Wow okay. Now I know how Sen feels
Not Emo: Sorry
Scyther: It's not a big deal Manga don't be a bitch
REAL STEEL: Yeah, don't be a bitch, BITCH!
Not Emo: Yeah now I just don't know what I'm gonna do tonight
Not Emo: I'm really just down for anything.
Not Emo: Anything at all.
Toadette: OwO Anything???
Not Emo: Yeah, you know, I'm really, just chill and lowkey, you know
Toadette: Wow shroom, I didn't know you were so outgoing!! :O
Not Emo: Yeah, I'm always like this. I'm not quiet I'm just always busy doing
Not Emo: Parties. And hanging out with people.
Not Emo: Are you doing anything tonight?
Kendo: Kuroiro, if you really want something to do so badly, come to Mirko-sensei's training dojo with me later today! We're gonna be sparring for hours, it's intense but its REALLY fun!
Not Emo: Oh, I don't know about that
Toadette: Ur Boss lets u train with her, Kendo? ZOMG that's sooooo cool!!
Not Emo: You think that's cool?
Kendo: Don't worry, Kuroiro, Mirko-sensei's ALWAYS pumped to spar with new students! I'll tell her you're with me! We can go right after I'm done with my patrol!
Not Emo: Uhm, sure. I could do that. I guess that won't take too long
Not Emo: We'll be back before 8, right?
Kendo: Probably, yeah, but I like to stay til 10!
Not Emo: Oh, Jeez
REAL STEEL: Don't keep him there for TOO LONG, Kendo!!!!
Not Emo: Yeah, I don't think I should stay for too long
REAL STEEL: He should STILL be in good enough shape to join SHODA AND I at the GYM tomorrow morning!!
Not Emo: The Gym??
REAL STEEL: That's RIGHT, BITCH!
Shoda: I really think I'll be able to set a new PR this week. I'm feeling good about it
REAL STEEL: THATS THE SPIRIT SHODA!!! PUMPING IRON AND PUMPING BLOOD!!! YOU MAKE THOSE PLATES YOUR BITCH!!! YOUR PROGRESS HAS BEEN AMAZING!!!
Shoda: Kuroiro you gotta come with us. Ever since I started with Tetsu it's really been a huge change for me. We go early in the morning at 7 so all the machines are free. Give it a shot!
REAL STEEL: PREACH IT, BRODA! THE FORTRESS OF SWOLITUDE ALWAYS HAS ROOM FOR ONE MORE!!!
Not Emo: I guess if you really want me there
Toadette: Wow, Kuro! 0w0 ur social and u work out too! I didn't know u were like this shroom
Shiozaki: What amazing serendipity
Shiozaki: Brother Kuro, if you're free all weekend, you MUST come to Sunday Mass with Tsuyu and I! Theyre assembling the choir tomorrow!
Not Emo: Uhm
Not Emo: Sure, okay
Not Emo: I think
Goth GF: Guys stop roping Kuro into your plans. He's clearly not into it
Not Emo: I guess its a little much, yeah
Goth GF: He's coming with US to Girls Night tonight.
Not Emo: What
Gex: It's KARAOKE NIGHT BABYYYYYYYY
Horny: LETS GO GIRLS NIGHT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!
Hello: I love Karaoke :)
Not Emo: Girls night? Like with all the girls?
Gex: Uh, yeah lol
Gex: Well most of the girls
Not Emo: Sure, I could go to Karaoke
Goth GF: Of course you're gonna go. We already paid for 5 people
Not Emo: Wait, five?
Gex: Yeah it was supposed to be all girls but Komori wasn't feeling it tonight. Its a good thing you stepped in, Kuro!
Not Emo: Komori, you're not going?
Toadette: Nah, I was feeling kinda overwhelmed today, decided I wanted to just stay in and have a smol party with me and my little mushrooms :3c
Toadette: It's gonna be kinda lonely, I was hoping someone from the class would come have a mushroom party with meeeeee
Toadette: I guess I'm not as social and outgoing as you are, Kuroiro ;w;
Toadette: I'd have asked you but u seem to have a really busy schedule this weekend! Have lots of fun! Shroom shroom!
Not Emo:
Not Emo:
Not Emo: Ok
Private Messages: Juzo Honenuki / Shihai Kuroiro (2:35 PM)
Honenuki: Kuro, I'm outside your door.
Honenuki: I know you're underneath your bed again, dude.
Honenuki: Come on, it's not that bad. Come out.
Kuroiro: I don't want to
Honenuki: I got you some chocolate milk
Honenuki: Come on buddy. Drink some choco milk with me
Honenuki: Here I used my quirk to slide it under your door.
Honenuki: Just peek out and grab it
Kuroiro: ...Okay
Kuroiro: Thank you Juzo
Honenuki: No problem. How you feeling?
Kuroiro: ...I missed my chance to hang out with Komori...
Kuroiro: ...And I'm not even gonna get to watch Jujutsu Kaisen...
Honenuki: Yeah. I know.
Honenuki: Sorry my advice got you in this mess, dude
Kuroiro: Don't be
Kuroiro: It's. Kind of nice, actually
Honenuki: ?
Kuroiro: Everyone invited me to hang out with them. Everyone wanted me to be there.
Kuroiro: ...At least now I feel popular
Honenuki: You know, Kuro? That's a really good way to look at it.
Kuroiro: Yeah...
Honenuki: Yeah.
Kuroiro: Mirko is going to shatter all the bones in my body though isn't she
Honenuki: Oh yeah, for sure
Chapter 8: Consequences
Summary:
Class B find out their actions have consequences
Notes:
EXTRA LONG CHAPTER TONIGHT!!! Enjoy!
Chapter Text
THE BREAKFAST CLUB Groupchat (10:18 PM)
Air Jordans: Uhhhhhhhh hey Kendo?
Kendo: Yeah what's up
Air Jordans: Where are you right now?
Kendo: I'm out in the training hall rn with Tetsu.
Air Jordans: Why is Principal Nezu at the dorms with Kan-sensei, Mr Ectoplasm and Hound Dog
Kendo: Class A probably just fought another villain or something and he's there to congratulate them for what an amazing job they did breaking their bones again lol
Joker: Normally I am 100% on board for Class A slander but like. I don't think you get it.
Joker: They're in OUR dorms
Air Jordans: Yeah Nezu just asked me where you were Kendo
Kendo: Wtf
Kendo: Tell him I'll be right there
Air Jordans: I panicked and told him you were in the bathroom
Air Jordans: Then he knocked on the door and I told him you were in the other bathroom
Kendo: Oh my god
Air Jordans: Then he asked me which one and I faked a seizure
Air Jordans: I think he bought it
Bandana Dee: He did not buy it
Kendo: Okay NOBODY say anything I am coming RIGHT NOW
Kendo: Where's Shoda?
Air Jordans: In the bathroom
Kendo: No where is he REALLY?
Goth GF: Yeah he's actually in the bathroom he's having a panic attack rn
Burp renamed the group to 'THE OTHER BATHROOM'
Kendo: Manga please don't
Burp: Sorry I make jokes when I'm nervous hahah
Kendo: Okay. This is fine. This is alright. We're fine. I will be there ASAP
INCOMING CALL : PRINCIPAL NEZU
One Missed Call from Principal Nezu
Private Messages: Itsuka Kendo / Nezu (10:30 PM)
Nezu: Hello Mrs Kendo. Are you having a difficult time in the bathroom?
Kendo: Hello Mr Nezu!!! I'm so sorry I was just on my way back!!
Nezu: Excellent. We need to talk to you about the recent break-in on school grounds.
Kendo: The attack on Class A's dorms?
Nezu: Right, you all testified that it was on Class A's dorms, but after conducting an investigation we've been able to pinpoint trace the location of the intrusion to your dorms.
Kendo: What
Kendo: Oh. My god. That is so shocking. That can't be right.
Nezu: Yes well, you can imagine we're all quite worried! We'll discuss measures to prevent future break ins once you're all here.
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (1:33 AM)
Toadette: Guys I'm worried about Kendo ;~;
Air Jordans: She's been in there for 2 hours.
Air Jordans: Do you guys think shes dead
Air Jordans: Did Nezu kill her
Air Jordans: Are they burying her body right now
Seto Kaiba: Yeah they're burying her body in the Other Bathroom
Air Jordans: Shut up Beyblade
Seto Kaiba: Actually that name goes hard asf dude wtf you're really good at this
Seto Kaiba changed their name to 'Beyblade'
Beyblade: W or L
Gex: W
Air Jordans: L
Scyther: Nah that's a W mate. Even catchier
Air Jordans: Stop hyping him up his ego can't handle it
Horny: I like the name!
Shinsou: W name Kaibara
Air Jordans: SHINSO HAVE YOU BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME???
Shinsou: Yeah
Air Jordans: Have you
Air Jordans: Scrolled up since you joined
Shinsou: Maybe I have maybe I haven't
Beyblade: I don't think anyones phone could handle all the scrolling required to get the necessary context
Big Guy: Yeah Shoda tried to rat us out the moment Nezu showed up but when he attempted to open his phone to the precise moment in the groupchat it blew up again
Burp: My terabytes of Reaction Gifs strike again
Shinsou: Okay you got me I don't know what's happening :(
Shinsou: But you're all panicking and I feel left out.
Beyblade: Sorry my guy this is a Class B thing we're gonna be taking this to our graves
Burp: And it's gonna be the funniest bit ever
Shinsou: I know who the weak links are
Shinsou: Shiozaki what happened
Shiozaki: I may be a servant of the Lord, Brother Shinsou, and a devout Christian woman, and a believer in the cleansing power of Christ.
Shiozaki: But I am not a snitch.
Shiozaki: Only the Lord may judge me once I'm dead.
Shinsou: Damn.
Shinsou: Tokage what happened
Gex: Nope. You used up your 8th birthday card already. We're done. Sorry.
Shinsou: Damnit.
Shinsou: Kodai what happened
Hello: I don't know
Hello: I'm playing Minecraft
Shinsou: Time for plan B
Shinsou: Tsuburaba I'll give you ¥1500
Air Jordans: I would never sell my friends out Shinsou. Not for 1500 yen.
Shinsou: ¥3000
Air Jordans: Oh worm? DM me
Beyblade: Are you kidding me
Beyblade: I'm so jealous rn I coulda used that 3000 yen
Horny: Kaibara wants money because he is broken hahahahah
Air Jordans: What
Beyblade: Oh wait I know this one
Beyblade: People in America say [Broke] in English to mean someone with no money
Horny: Yes!!
Bandana Dee: Wow, did Kaibara actually learn something in class? I'm kinda impressed
Beyblade: Nah I just know from watching too much The Big Bang Theory with Manga and Kodai
Horny: NO!!! 😡
Toadette: What's that? ?~?
Burp: It's this HILARIOUS American TV show
Burp: The main characters are all geeks and nerds like us and they love superhero comics but they're actually super smart and they have to share an apartment with this hot lady with big boobs and there's this character named Sheldon who says "Bazinga" and it's the funniest shit you've ever seen.
Beyblade: It is kinda funny when he says Bazinga ngl
Horny: Big Bang Theory is a stupid show!! Dumb show!! They force the laugh track for everything!
Burp: Pony relax it's an American show shouldnt you like it too?
Horny: Its NOT funny
Hello: I like when he says Bazinga :) It makes me laugh
Burp: Wait til you hear about the prequel series. They have a series where he's a KID
Horny: You are JAPANESE!! Watch Japanese anime it's much better!!
Air Jordans: Maybe I should check it out too. This Sheldon guy sounds really funny
Kendo: Hey guys. I'm back.
Air Jordans: Oh wait that's right we were waiting for you weren't we
Big Guy: That took a while.
Beyblade: got totally caught up talking about Big Bang Theory
Kendo: I have good news and bad news.
Kendo: Which do you all want first
Big Guy: Good News
Shiozaki: Good News, please
Air Jordans: I want the bad news just tell me who's getting expelled
Kendo: Nobody is getting expelled. That's the good news.
Bruce Lee: Yesssssssss
Bruce Lee: I got that cute boy in 1-C's number I was worried I'd be deported before we could go out
Air Jordans: Okay wait so we're off the hook then, right? Then what's the bad news?
Kendo: ... The uh
Kendo: The dorms aren't safe anymore. They're relocating us.
Kendo: We are moving locations, Class.
Soft & Wet: Oh cool. Sounds like a change of scenery to me
Soft & Wet: Could be worse
Goth GF: I can probably get that done in like an hour yeah
Big Guy: I've got a lot of furniture it might take me a bit longer
Not Emo: I guess it's better than being expelled
Bandana Dee: For sure.
qjajslfff: Yeah, easy for YOU guys! You all have superpowers that can help you move stuff?????? I HAVE A GLUE FACE. Moving takes me HOURS
REAL STEEL: YEAH LETS MAKE A WORKOUT OUT OF IT!! WE'RE FINALLY DOING CLASS WORKOUT DAY!!!
Joker: That's not too bad, honestly. I don't mind it that much. I'm with everyone else.
Joker: Did they tell you where we're moving to, Kendo?
Kendo: Yes. We are going to be relocated to the Fifth Floor of Class A's dorms.
Joker: .
Joker: I see.
Joker: Wekll ifd thsts wnatt our p rjbcapl deci
Joker: Decid edd then I uh nsersat
Joker: Onne minutew please
Private Messages: Neito Monoma / Jurouta Shishida (2:22 AM)
Monoma: Hello Shishida can I please borrow your quirk for a moment
Shishida: You're going to break stuff with it again, aren't you?
Monoma: Yes.
Shishida: Yeah I suppose, sure. Meet me outside
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (2:25 AM)
Kendo: We're gonna be there for the rest of the semester. I'm sorry everyone, I know this isn't ideal to hear, but they really think our dorms are compromised.
Gex: Wait, hold up.
Gex: The Fifth Floor only has 8 rooms. What do you mean the third floor sis
Kendo: I'm sorry
Gex: What do you mean "I'm sorry"??? Kendo???
Air Jordans: Maybe that means the rest of us are on the Fourth Floor
Burp: Nah the rest of us are just on the Floor.
Burp: Just the floor
Goth GF: Wait, no, please don't tell me
Kendo: We... Might... Maybe... Possibly all have to share a room. Two people per dorm.
Burp: [WHAT.mp4]
Goth GF: No the fuck we WON'T
Big Guy: I dont think thats a good idea
Big Guy: The Animal needs his own space.
Scyther: Are we going to have to share a bed because my blades come out in my sleep sometimes.
Scyther: Full disclosure I WILL accidentally Stab you in my sleep
Burp: [NOOOOOOOOOO.mp4]
Toadette: ;-; but what about my Mush-Room...
Bandana Dee: Your what
Beyblade: This is NOT going to end well...
Not Emo: I can just make my room in a dark closet I don't take up much space...
Burp: [CryingAllMight.mp4]
Soft & Wet: What the FUCK, Kendo? Really?
Air Jordans: Holy SHIT EVEN HONENUKI IS PISSED OFF
Kendo: This is fine. This is fine. This is fine.
REAL STEEL: HELL YEAH, BITCHES!!! CLASS B SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!
Air Jordans: Did anyone else just hear that loud ass wailing sob
Gex: Yeah I think that's Shoda. He's still in the bathroom freaking out.
Air Jordans: Shouldnt somebody go check on him
Bandana Dee: Oh man. That was a loud one
Gex: Give him a little longer I think he needs this.
Chapter 9: Two for One
Summary:
Kendo tries to keep the peace while everyone else deals with the aftermath of rooming together above Class A's dorms.
Notes:
This one is a bit messier in terms of how I structured it, but I'm pretty happy with the amount of jokes and personality I was able to give everyone here! Expect some even crazier hijinks for the Class now that they're stuck together like this
To be clear: If you look at the floor plan for the UA dorm room buildings, There are 8 rooms per floor, with Class A taking up all the floors and just having some of them be empty. After the move, the students on the top floor moved downstairs to make room for Class B, who are taking up all 8 rooms on the top floor and 3 rooms on the fourth floor, 11 total.
Chapter Text
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (4:55 PM)
Joker: I hate this
Joker: I hate all of you
Joker: I hate myself
Joker: When I die you are all uninvited to my funeral
Kendo: Monoma come on its really not that bad you can give it a rest
Burp: No
Burp: Let him cook
Air Jordans: I can't believe I'm saying this Prez but for the first time ever I think Monoma has a point this actually sucks and I hate it
Horny: Does Class A EVER stop ARGUING? I'm going DEAF. It is like everybody in their class is as loud as Tetsu
Big Guy: I HAVE SUPER-HEARING ITS EVEN WORSE FOR ME
qjajslfff: I can't sleep Midoriya keeps training right outside my window at night
Shoda: I can't STUDY if my room is right above Jirou's and she's ALWAYS playing MUSIC!!! SHES BEEN MIXING THE SAME SONG FOR 4 DAYS!!
Beyblade: I put a dirty dish in the sink and EVERYONE was glaring at me. I think theyre planning to jump me tonight
Bandana Dee: At least I'm on good terms with Kaminari again. I told him about the school trip incident and he said we could talk about it over some pizzas.
Beyblade: Dude.
Bandana Dee: ?
Beyblade: How much did he ask you for the Pizzas?
Bandana Dee: Just half. ¥4000. He'll pay the other half.
Beyblade: Awase.
Beyblade: There are no Pizza places nearby that deliver to UA.
Bandana Dee: MotherFUCKER
Gex: I swear to god we have ants in my room. I just know it's Koda. I just KNOW that bugtalker is bringing them in here
Beyblade: I thought lizards loved eating bugs
Gex: Oh yeah hah HAH good one I fucking HATE Ants
Kendo: It's only been 2 weeks we'll settle in eventually
Goth GF: Oh I KNOW You're not talking, Kendo
Kendo: Look, I swear it wasn't up to me
Scyther: Right.
Kendo: It's not what you think
Air Jordans: Really? Cause I think we're all stuck with half a room and you have a full one all to yourself
Kendo: It was a FAIR process!
FLASHBACK POV: MOVING DAY
Sekijiro Kan glanced at his students then back down to the floor plan sheet.
"Alright, there are 11 rooms total available. 2 per room. If there are any concerns, we'll be here" he commanded.
"Kan-Sensei?" Bondo piped up "If there are 11 rooms, doesn't that leave one room empty?"
Vlad looked at the floor plan again. Then back to his students one more time, then back to the floor plan as if it was made of hieroglyphics. He seemed to struggle with the logistics in his head, before finally crumpling the paper and pocketing it
"Right, uh, well," he stalled, before an idea flashed in his head, "Trial by combat, you'll all fight each other one-on-one for it!"
Kaibara retorted "That sounds a bit unfa-OUGGHFF" he could barely get out before Kendo's giant fist crashed into his face, cutting him off.
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (5:30 PM)
Beyblade: It really did not feel fair.
Kendo: Wanna go for Round 2?
Beyblade: No
Kendo: That's what I thought
Burp: You could have given it to Kodai. She needs the space.
Kendo: Kodai's a big girl. Besides she's excited to room with Tokage!
Hello: I like rooming with Tokage
Hello: It's like Big Bang Theory
Gex: Hell yeah Yui
Gex: Bazinga
Shoda: Glad at least SOME of us have good roommates
Kendo: Shoda you literally asked dibs on Honenuki as a roommate. We all agreed to let you have Honenuki as your roommate.
Beyblade: Yeah tbh Honenuki is probably the best roommate you could ask for. He's chill and low maintenance we all wanted him and we let you have him
Shoda: That's what I thought too
Shoda: But now that I'm living with him it's a NIGHTMARE
Kendo: Honenuki is in this chat you know
Soft & Wet: Its nbd
Shoda: Yes it IS!! IT IS A BIG DEAL!!!
Shoda: See what I mean?!? He's TOO chill!!!
Gex: Too? Chill?
Shoda: He doesn't fix his bed or his room after he gets up in the morning. Doesn't fold his clothes. All his clothes are always just in a PILE at the foot of his bed, he keeps using my toothbrush, my pillows, my towels, moving my stuff around, and everytime I try to CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT HE JUST SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS AND SAYS 'MY BAD' THEN KEEPS DOING IT!!!
Soft & Wet: My bad
Shoda: EXACTLY
Shoda: Where is my DEODORANT, JUZO?!
Soft & Wet: Idk I'll look for it later
Shoda: I need it NOW
Kendo: Both of you calm down
Big Guy: I know what you mean, Shoda. Kaibara is messy too. Hate a messy unkept room.
Beyblade: THATS BECAUSE YOUR STUFF TAKES UP 90% OF THE ROOM SHISHIDA
Beyblade: Why do you have a King-sized bed, a futon and ottoman, a refrigerator, a TV and entertainment center
Beyblade: I literally have nothing but a mattress in the corner where else am I supposed to put my things
Big Guy: The Animal needs his space, dude.
Beyblade: I need MY space!!
Big Guy: Idk why you're so upset your mattress is closer to the fridge
Beyblade: I know you're rich but you really need to dial it back dude
Horny: If we are complaining about roommates I will also enjoy to complain
Goth GF: Oh this is gonna be good. Let's hear it. PLEASE let's hear why it's SUCH a bother for you Pony
Horny: You do not need to be upset, Yanagi-chan. It is just that your side of the room is so scary, and you are always chanting in the night!
Horny: You collect strange things in your room! It is not regular.
Goth GF: Oh okay so you can't ignore the cauldron or the knives or the dolls but I still have to ignore all your anime posters and unhealthy amount of plushies got it
Horny: Yanagi you are my nakama but that was very mean! My room is graceful and at least I do not chant sing in my room like I am possessed!
Goth GF: It's girly and generic. Besides, I told you I'm a wiccan. The chanting is a necessary ritual
Horny: It is not necessary you just do it to be different!!! Admit it
Goth GF: I'll admit it when you finally admit that you use Google Translate you FAKE BITCH it's SO obvious
Horny: [OKAY LETS HEAR YOU SPEAK ENGLISH THEN YANAGI COME ON]
Goth GF: [YOU STUPID I PUNCHING YOUR FACE!]
Not Emo: Please stop shouting so loud
Horny: I am sorry Kuroiro-kun
Not Emo: No. Not you two. I'm talking about Tetsu. Hes always yelling and playing loud workout music and he keeps making me work out with him I can't keep hiding in the drawer
REAL STEEL: So THATS where you were! That's REALLY SMART, Kuro! Now COME ON! Let's hurry down to the cafeteria before Kirishima eats all the PROTEIN BARS!
Not Emo: I don't want to...
REAL STEEL: Don't WORRY about it! I'll bring some for you! Don't forget Kirishima is coming over to our room tonight so we can do our PUSHUP contest!
Not Emo: But he was just here???
REAL STEEL: I KNOW, RIGHT? Isn't it AWESOME?!
Not Emo: Please don't....
Kendo: See? Some of us are staying positive. We should be trying to get along with Class A, like Tetsu and Kirishima, or Shiozaki and Tsuyu!
Shiozaki: Please do not invoke her name right now, Sister Kendo
Kendo: ???
Shiozaki: I do not wish to speak of it yet... It is still a fresh wound...
Toadette: Dont make such-room a big deal out of it
Gex: They had a fight and she's been in her room all day.
Toadette: She won't leave!! Tell her to leave, Kendoooooooooooo TnT there's not much-room for my mushrooms *cries*
Kendo: She just needs some space right now Komori
Toadette: There's NO space! Her vines are everywhereeeeeeee theyre covering up the windows and theyre all over my side of the room! I was supposed to throw a mushroom party today!!! ;~;
Bandana Dee: Vines and Mushrooms DO both grow in humidity...
Gex: Oh God
Gex: I just went over to their room what the fuck
Gex: (image.png)
Air Jordans: Oh my GOD???
Shiozaki: Do not LOOK AT ME!!!!!
Shiozaki: DELETE THAT AT ONCE
Kendo: Holy Shit. I can barely see the walls
qjajslfff: Did they grow a RAINFOREST in their room???
Gex: ITS ONLY BEEN 2 DAYS
Bruce Lee: Hello everyone. I am officially declaring war on Tsuburaba
Air Jordans: Not this shit again
Gex: Can we please have enough time to figure out what to do about Shiozaki and Komori's rainforest cafe
Bruce Lee: No. I am enacting war on the Tsuburaba empire
Air Jordans: Respect the wall and the wall will respect you
Kendo: The WHAT
Bruce Lee: He has made an INVISIBLE WALL in our room!
Air Jordans: Yeah, right down the middle, so we can respect each other's space. You were moving the furniture around constantly
Bruce Lee: This is NOT the middle! You have more!
Air Jordans: Big China bullying Little Japan again
Bruce Lee: Do NOT play the nationality card!
Air Jordans: TIANAMEN SQUARE! TIANAMEN SQUARE!
REAL STEEL: YO KUROIBRO! Where the HELL are you, BITCH?! You're not in the DRAWER like you SAID you were! Come on we need someone to judge our pushup contest!
Not Emo: No leave me alone
Horny: Yanagi where is my Chopper plushy??
Goth GF: Oh don't worry... He's safe... For now...
Horny: Oh but I was so excited to show him to SHOJII In fact I think I saw Shoji downstairs just now. Maybe I should invite him over
Goth GF: You wouldn't DARE
Bruce Lee: THE WALL HAS COME DOWN COMRADES!
Shoda: why is there water all over the floor oh my god
Soft & Wet: My bad just took a bath
Gex: Code Green the vines have BURROWED THROUGH THE WALLS I repeat CODE GREEN
Shiozaki: I TOLD YOU TO DELETE THAT PICTURE TOKAGE
Big Guy: Hey Kaibara I need the closet space too btw I folded all your clothes on your mattress for you
Beyblade: I am in Hell
Bruce Lee: UPDATE THE WALL IS BACK I REPEAT THE WALL IS BACK IT IS CRUSHING ME SEND HELP
Air Jordans: HOW YOU LIKE MY GREAT WALL NOW, CHINA???
Beyblade: Fuck it.
Beyblade: Kendo. I want a rematch.
Horny: I WANT A REMATCH TOO KENDO
Air Jordans: Not if I fight her first
Shoda: GIVE US YOUR ROOM, KENDO!
Kendo: BONDO HAS HIS OWN ROOM TOO! HOW COME NONE OF YOU ARE MAD AT HIM?!?
qjajslfff: Because I was the only one that wasn't using Shinso's old room that got us in this mess in the first place.
Kendo: Oh, right.
Big Guy: Whoever lands the finishing blow on Kendo gets her room
Kendo: Fine. I can take you all on. Bring it.
Kendo: I will Destroy every one of you
Direct Messages: Kan Sekijiro / Nezu (7:00 PM)
Kan: So how much longer until you'd say they learned their lesson
Nezu: I'd say 2 months for tripping a false alarm should do them some good ^-^
Nezu: They need to learn that having their own space on campus is a privilege that's afforded to students we can trust, and make sure they don't take that for granted!
Kan: I mean, really. I don't know where they got the idea that they could actually trick us when there are cameras and sensors everywhere.
Kan: Should I tell them that we knew it was them?
Nezu: Maybe not yet. I want to see how long they can last before they come clean
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (8:34 PM)
Burp: (TiktokMeme.mp4)
Burp: Man what the fuck happened here
Joker: Hey Manga I'm at the mess hall they have sweet rolls today do you want me to get you some
Burp: Yes please thank you
Joker: Kk. I got you some strawberry milk too
Burp: Oh sick, you're the best
Burp: Hey, you're weirdly cool with rooming with me Monoma. I thought you hated everything about this
Joker: Huh? No I hate being so close to Class A. You know I'm always excited to spend time with my classmates. You're all awesome.
Burp: Is there really nothing about rooming with me that annoys you?
Joker: I mean, I guess you snore pretty loudly.
Burp: That's fair. I heard you liked Belgian comics, I have some Tintin books you could read
Joker: I would love that, Thank you, Manga
Chapter 10: No Brain no Gain
Summary:
Class B has a history exam
Notes:
Felt like the last few chapters were too focused on having plot stuff, so I really wanted to write another casual, funny chapter where the class just gets to goof off and talk about nothing lmao
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (11:50 AM)
Burp: Hey who would win if all the teachers had a free for all
Air Jordans: Snipe, obviously
Burp: Right that's what I thought at first too but like
Burp: Think about it
Burp: Power Loader can just dig into the ground, Cementoss is made of cement. Ectoplasm can just keep making clones, like most of the faculty can perfectly counter a dude with guns.
Big Guy: Question
Big Guy: Does Principal Nezu have access to all of UA's resources
Burp: Yes assume Nezu can use all of UA's resources to his content
Shoda: He can't just do that. He needs to consult with the other faculty before he does something
Burp: Well in this scenario Nezu wants to win no matter what so he'll do it anyways.
Beyblade: Are we all ignoring that Thirteen has BLACK HOLE powers?!?
Beyblade: Thirteen low diff
Big Guy: Idk Nezu with all of UA's resources is kinda cracked. He basically has an entire robot army. He could just 300 IQ 4D chess the rest of them into traps.
Air Jordans: Principal Nezu gets shot once by Snipe and he's out.
Scyther: Hold on. What version of All Might are we talking about here
Burp: Current All Might because any other version stomps
Scyther: Damn
Shoda: I could see maybe Eraserhead if he goes the silent Ninja assassin route and takes them all out methodically one by one
Joker: Why is nobody saying Kan-sensei??
Joker: Kan-sensei would beat the shit out of Eraserhead
Shinsou: Not true. My dad would beat up your dad and everyone else's dads and would win every time because he's the greatest.
Burp: Oh I forgot Shinso was here
Gex: You're all wrong. Hound Dog solos
Burp: Hound Dog??
Gex: Yeah
Gex: He's got that dawg in him
Burp: Can't argue with that.
Bandana Dee: Am I the only one studying for our history exam today
Shoda: I already triple-reviewed my notes last night.
Beyblade: I studied this morning I think I'll be okay-ish
Gex: We have a history exam today? Damn
Bandana Dee: Yes?? It's worth a lot of our grade in the class I've been so busy I forgot to study for it
Gex: Fuck it, we ball
REAL STEEL: I've got a NEW strategy Shoda's been helping me with! He's gonna make me a GENIUS!
Shoda: I didn't say genius I said you'd get a B+
REAL STEEL: See what I MEAN? I'm BASICALLY like a GENIUS now!
Beyblade: Shoda you'll be lucky if he even passes
Shoda: No I really think I figured it out
qjajslfff: I told Tetsu once that my Dad was a Salaryman and he started asking me about vegetables for 4 months afterwards.
qjajslfff: He thought my Dad was a Celeryman
qjajslfff: Who worked in a Celery factory
qjajslfff: Making Celery.
Bruce Lee: I one time asked Tetsu where he thought China was on a map and he pointed to Canada.
Bruce Lee: Then I asking him again and he just pointed to a different part of Canada.
Gex: One time when we were kids I asked Tetsu to push me on my bike and he said sure
Gex: So I got on my bike and he pushed me over sideways.
REAL STEEL: I SAID I was SORRY! I even let YOU push me over after so we're EVEN!
Gex: Your apology is accepted I just like bringing it up whenever I can
Shoda: Look, I know. He's not very smart.
REAL STEEL: I'M RIGHT HERE YA KNOW
Shoda: But he's SUPER motivated. You just have to point that motivation in the right direction.
Shoda: Every Saturday morning we go to the gym. Tetsu does 30 squats, 40 pushups, 30 lunges, 20 curls, 40 pushups, then 30 pull-ups. He keeps count in his head and he's NEVER off.
Shoda: So all I did was associate the historical events with a workout routine. Look
Shoda: Tetsu, what day did the Shogunate start Arms day?
REAL STEEL: AUGUST 21ST!
Shoda: Correct. How much was the Shogun's PR?
REAL STEEL: ELEVEN NINETY-TWO!
Shoda: Correct, that was also the year the Shogunate was formed. 1192.
Shoda: Tetsu, what were the Samurai's workout routine?
REAL STEEL: 43 REPS OF TEMPLE BURNING, 89 REPS OF ASSASSINATION, THEN A 300 KM RUN UPWARDS TO TAIRA
Shoda: Nice
Kendo: Wow. That was. Almost right.
REAL STEEL: HELL YEAH, BITCHES! TETSU'S GOT THE BRAWN AND THE BRAINS NOW!
Air Jordans: Man if Tetsu becomes smart I'm gonna have the worst grades in the class
Shoda: You already have the worst grades in the class Tsuburaba
Air Jordans: Yeah but I was working my way up to second worst
Shoda: You're just lazy and unfocused. Make time to study and you'd probably get better grades
Air Jordans: I have a better idea
Air Jordans: Shinso where are you
Shinso: ?
Shinso: In the cafeteria
Air Jordans: I need you to hypnotize me into aceing this exam
Shinso: That's not how it works
Air Jordans: Have you ever tried it before
Shinso: No but I know how my quirk functions
Air Jordans: Come on just do it for me
Shinso: Kendo?
Kendo: Nah, it's fine. Let him try.
Shinso: Okay, I'm at the far north table. Come meet me and I'll brainwash you ig
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (3:40 PM)
Bandana Dee: Geez, that took way too long
Toadette: Did anyone notice Honenuki left early??
Soft & Wet: I didn't leave early I was just done
Toadette: You took even less time than Shoda!
Soft & Wet: Yeah idk it was pretty easy tbh
Gex: If no one else got me I know the Lizard Lads got me
Gex: Manga Kosei Sen, How bad did we all fail boys
Beyblade: We?
Burp: I did really good actually. I thought it was easy. I got an 88
Gex: Eighty EIGHT??
Burp: Yeah I take my schoolwork seriously. I do my homework on time.
Gex: Wow. Uh, good job
Beyblade: I don't think I did too badly. About a seventy six at least
Air Jordans: WAIT HOW DID I DO I WAS BRAINWASHED
Air Jordans: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS HOW LONG WAS I OUT
Air Jordans: DID IT WORK
Bruce Lee: You didn't even show up to history class
Air Jordans: WHAT
Kendo: Tsuburaba, where are you right now?
Air Jordans: In the cafeteria!
Kendo: What's the last thing you remember?
Air Jordans: Shinso asking me if I was sure about this
Air Jordans: Did he not brainwash me?
Kendo: He did. I was there too, remember?
Kendo: He brainwashed you and then you stood there in a trance for the rest of the day lol
Air Jordans: DAMNIT
Kendo: Don't worry, I talked Ishiyama-sensei into letting you retake it. I told him you were out sick.
Kendo: Your retake date is Thursday.
Air Jordans: Aw, sweet, thanks Kendo
REAL STEEL: I GOT A SEVENTY NINE!
REAL STEEL: MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE ITS ON FIRE! THIS IS SO AWESOME!
Shoda: Yep. B+. Called it.
REAL STEEL: NOW I DONT HAVE TO STAY AFTER CLASS! YOURE THE GOAT BRODA!!
Shoda: We'll shoot for an A- next time if we can.
Kendo: That reminds me, Tsuburaba
Kendo: Were you serious about wanting to get your grades up?
Air Jordans: I mean, I guess?
Kendo: Good, so don't thank me yet. Shoda gave me an idea to help you
Shoda: I did?
Kendo: (Image.png)
Kendo: Look what I found in your room Tsuburaba
Air Jordans: AYO ARE THOSE MY JORDANS
Air Jordans: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SHOES KENDO
Kendo: You're gonna study for that exam and you're gonna get at least a B+ on it.
Kendo: Or else
Kendo: I'm gonna crease your Jays, Tsuburaba.
Air Jordans: NO YOU WOULDNT
Air Jordans: WHAT THE FUCK KENDO
Kendo: Get to studying! You have 3 days until your retake
Air Jordans: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Gex: Am I the only dumbass left in this class
REAL STEEL: DONT WORRY TOKAGE
REAL STEEL: I'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK WHENEVER YOU NEED IT!
Gex: Oh my god
REAL STEEL: There's NO shame in it, SISTER!
Kendo: Y'know Tokage it's never too late to start studying!
Gex: Was that a threat
Gex: Kodai, lock the door.
Hello: But someone is knocking at the door
Gex: LOCK THE DOOR KODAI DO NOT LET HER IN
REAL STEEL: Now that I'm a GENIUS I'm gonna go and solve some smart science problems!
REAL STEEL: Like that BIG HOLE in OZONE'S LAIR!
Burp: Tetsu what about World Hunger
REAL STEEL: I'LL GET EVERYONE PROTEIN BARS!
Beyblade: I wanna live in the future where Tetsu wins a nobel prize
REAL STEEL: HELL YEAH! I WANT A WIN A NOBLE PRIZE! THERES NOBODY MORE NOBLE THAN ME!
Horny: Wow, Japanese schools are really intense!
Bruce Lee: In China if you do bad on an exam you literally lose your house.
Bruce Lee: This is pretty chill, actually
Goth GF: I'm so glad we know how the Shogunate was formed in early feudal Japan so we'll be ready when we inevitably encounter the villain who fights using elaborate historical trivia
Shoda: You're joking but I heard there was a villain once that could immobilize you based on how low your IQ was.
Scyther: We finally found Tsuburaba's arch nemesis
REAL STEEL: I don't know WHERE THAT GUY IS, but I'm gonna FIND him and KICK HIS ASS
REAL STEEL: FIRST with my FISTS, THEN i'll beat him at GŌ
REAL STEEL: THEN THEY'LL GIVE ME A NOBLE PRIZE
Toadette: SMART TETSU FTW!! XD
qjajslfff: I got a 77 if anybody cares
Toadette: I care! Good job Bondo! ^-^
Not Emo is typing...
Burp: Wait wait wait wait wait
Burp: Hold on a second. Rewind
Burp: Did Tokage just call us the Lizard Lads
Gex: Yeah?? What's wrong with it??
Burp: Who decided we were called that?
Gex: I did! Just now
Burp: Tokage no offense but you suck at names
Gex: Excuse me? I rock at names
Beyblade: Okay Lizardy
Gex: I'm a Lizard what more do you want from me
Not Emo: Oh, I got a 78 too
Gex: Okay we GET IT, Kuroiro, Geez, you're smart, I'm dumb! Nobody cares!!!
Not Emo: No I didn't mean it like that
Toadette: Yeah Kuroiro no need to rub it in and hurt her feelings!! >:/
Not Emo: Ok...
Big Guy: We have a math test on Friday as well now that I think about it
REAL STEEL: MATH IS EASY!! I'M GONNA KICK MATH'S ASS!
qjajslfff: Do you even know what the test will be on
REAL STEEL: YEAH OF COURSE I DO
REAL STEEL: PAPER
REAL STEEL: OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!
Burp: Look what you've done, Shoda. You've made him too powerful.
Notes:
Character Name Guide!
Bandana Dee: Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade: Sen Kaibara
Scyther: Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo: Shihai Kuroiro
Hello: Kodai Yui
Toadette: Kinoko Komori
Big Guy: Jurouta Shishida
Horny: Tsunotori Pony
Air Jordans: Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL: Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex: Setsuna Tokage
Burp: Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet: Juzo Honenuki
qjajslfff: Kojiro Bondo
Joker: Neito Monoma
Goth GF: Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee: Rin HiryuThe rest have their regular names!
Chapter 11: Let Him Cook
Summary:
Yanagi gets her hair done while the class confront Honenuki and Shishida. Monoma has a near death experience.
Notes:
Thank you Seraph for the shoutout! If there's any character you want to see more of, please leave a comment and tell me if you feel like your fav has been underrepresented!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Private Messages: Yanagi Reiko / Shiozaki Ibara (9:55 PM)
Yanagi: Heyyyy Shiozaki
Shiozaki: Yes, sister Yanagi?
Yanagi: Do you think you could hook me up with Tsuyu's number
Shiozaki: Did you not attend school with her?
Yanagi: Yeah but we were never really that close
Shiozaki: Why do you suddenly want to become close with her now?
Yanagi:
Yanagi: Reasons
Shiozaki: Confess the truth, sister Yanagi. It will set you free.
Yanagi: She owes me money
Shiozaki: She does? That doesn't sound like her at all
Yanagi: Yeah she owes me from... When we were kids...?
Shiozaki: Well I can just pay you back the sum right now.
Yanagi: No well, I mean, that's not everything.
Yanagi: She also
Yanagi: Has a good sense of style...? I wanna ask her where she bought her clothes
Shiozaki: What clothes? We're always in uniform on campus
Yanagi: No, not the uniform. Her uhhh hero costume. I like her hero costume
Shiozaki: Sister Yanagi.
Yanagi: Please don't make me say it
Shiozaki: Are you trying to seduce my girlfriend?
Yanagi: NO, ew, frogs aren't my type
Shiozaki: Okay. I'll give you her number
Shiozaki: IF you come to Church with me on Wednesday.
Yanagi: Deal
Shiozaki: Good. And please wear something normal
Yanagi: Wdym
Shiozaki: You KNOW what I mean
Yanagi: Fineeeeeeeeeee
Private Messages: Yanagi Reiko / Tsuyu Asui (10:03 AM)
Yanagi: Heyyyyy Tsuyu
Tsuyu: Who is this
Yanagi: It's Yanagi.
Yanagi: From Class B
Yanagi: We uh, we went to school together
Yanagi: Shiozaki gave me your number I hope thats okay
Tsuyu: Ohhhhhh
Tsuyu: Teijo, right?
Yanagi: Yeah, I mean, no
Yanagi: I kinda go by Reiko now
Tsuyu: Oh, that's a nice name
Tsuyu: Sorry I didn't recognize you before
Yanagi: No it's fine, we didn't really talk much in class, I get it
Tsuyu: Well we can always change that. Come on by and hang out with me in the dorms whenever you like
Yanagi: Thank you. I was actually hoping to meet some of the other students in Class A, yknow
Tsuyu: Sure, I can introduce you. Come on down tomorrow night we'll be doing movie night
Yanagi: Will Shoji be there
Tsuyu: Yeah he should be
Yanagi: Amazing yes I will be there thank you so much Tsuyu
Tsuyu: np
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (4:00 PM)
Kendo: I saw the smoke and came as fast as I could where's the fire??!??
Kendo: Whose room is on fire
Shoda: Nobody's.
Bruce Lee: Kendo please do something please I'm going to lose my mind
Kendo: ???
Kendo: Wheres the smoke coming from then??
Bruce Lee: It's HONENUKI
Kendo: HONENUKI is on FIRE??
Bruce Lee: No it's WORSE
Gex: I think he's trying to cook rice
Bruce Lee: He's not COOKING IT! He's RUINING IT!
Kendo: I thought we all agreed to never let him cook??
Shoda: He was at his hero internship today and got back before class ended. He was already cooking by the time we all got here
Kendo: How much of the kitchen has he burnt down
Shoda: Two countertops. Monoma's there now trying to minimize the damage and talk him out of it
Soft & Wet: Hey guys where are you all
Soft & Wet: I made some fried rice if anyone wants to try some
Kendo: Honenuki we talked about this
Soft & Wet: It's chill I only burnt 2 countertops this time
Soft & Wet: Monoma and Awase are gonna fix em up
Shoda: Juzo are you aware the smoke alarm went off twice. We're all outside now. Everyone is outside.
Soft & Wet: My bad.
Bruce Lee: 去你的! 你怎么敢这么说?!? 你毁了美丽的大米!
Bruce Lee: 肏你祖宗十八代! 我会杀了你!
Kendo: Shoda what is he saying
Bruce Lee: 肏你妈! 你二大爷的!
Shoda: Idk? Why are you asking me?? Do I look like I speak Chinese?!?
Bruce Lee: 你是个没用的没用的没用的男孩!
Burp: I think he's trying to tell us how much he loves his friends and wants to stay in Japan
Burp: Thank you, Hiryu, we love you too <3
Bruce Lee: 王八蛋!
Toadette: We love you too, Rin-kun!! <3 <3
Bruce Lee: SHUT FUCK UP HE RUIN MY RICE
Big Guy: I think he's just pissed at Honenuki for using his rice and burning it. You know how much Hiryu's cooking means to him.
Burp: Don't you mean OUR rice, Brother Rin?
Bruce Lee: 他妈的闭嘴
Beyblade: Honenuki's cooking is so bad he turned Hiryu's settings back to Chinese
Kendo: Okay
Kendo: Rin, chill out. We'll buy you some more rice
Kendo: Honenuki. You are banned from the kitchen.
Soft & Wet: Damn
Air Jordans: HOLD UP
Air Jordans: Let him COOK
Burp: (WhatWasHeCooking.png)
Bandana Dee: Can we go back inside yet
Kendo: No we gotta wait for the teachers to show up
Kendo: Honenuki, you and Monoma should come out here too. I think it would be best if you were here to help me explain it to everyone else
Soft & Wet: Sure thing
Soft & Wet: So where's Monoma
Kendo: ??? He's with you. Isn't he with you???
Shoda: He told me he was gonna go and try to stop him
Soft & Wet: I haven't seen him
qjajslfff: Maybe he's just in his room?
Soft & Wet: Oh, nah no worries I found him.
Soft & Wet: He just lost consciousness in the hallway
Soft & Wet: I'll carry him out
Kendo:
Shoda:
Air Jordans: Okay maybe we shouldn't let him cook
Horny: Where is Yanagi-chan? Is she still inside? She has not said anything in chat all day!
Big Guy: No, she definitely wasn't inside. I didn't smell her scent on the way out. She's probably somewhere else on campus
Kendo: Okay good
Kendo: Wait
Kendo: Wait hold on a second
Kendo: What did you say
Big Guy: She's somewhere else on campus
Kendo: No how did you KNOW she was somewhere else on campus
Big Guy: I couldn't smell her
Gex: Shishida do you smell ALL of us?!
Big Guy: Yeah it's just kind of a subconscious thing
Gex:
Toadette:
Shiozaki:
Kendo:
Horny:
Kendo: That's. Weird. Don't do that.
Big Guy: It's not weird. It's the same as hearing you with my ears or seeing you with my eyes
Kendo: I mean??? I guess??? But I still don't want anyone sniffing me???
qjajslfff: I feel violated but I can't describe how.
Big Guy: You guys are all making a big deal out of it it's only weird if you make it weird
Beyblade: No it's still pretty weird
Gex: Yeah, it's just uncomfortable
Gex: So like who smells the best
Shoda: Does it MATTER?
Gex: Idk? Kinda? I wanna know
Big Guy: Idk if I should say
Big Guy: I don't want to upset anybody
Scyther: Who cares this is stupid
Scyther: Who cares who smells the best
Big Guy: Kamakiri is definitely one of the best in the class though
Scyther: Of COURSE I am, because I WASH and BATHE myself and polish my BLADES and I know how to groom myself unlike the REST of you and now you all KNOW IT DEFINITIVELY
Scyther: I smell fucking AMAZING
Scyther: You should ALL learn from my example
Air Jordans: You know, now that I think about it, Kamakiri's skin is always SHINING
Gex: Can we just take a second to appreciate Kamakiri's skincare routine
Burp: What's your secret dude
Scyther: I moisturize
Big Guy: I've never thought of who smells the best but I think Monoma is also pretty high up there
Gex: Wow good job Monoma
Burp: I think he's still passed out
THE OTHER BATHROOM Groupchat (8:06 PM)
Kendo: Hiryu we got you the rice. This bags pretty heavy we left it in the kitchen for you alright?
Bruce Lee: That'll do. Thank you.
Air Jordans: I can't explain why but after today I suddenly feel weirdly self conscious about how I smell
Air Jordans: I think I'm gonna take a shower
qjajslfff: Did you guys see Kan-sensei brought Bully with him to the dorms?
Gex: Dude I would literally die for Bully I love that Dog so much
Horny: Bully is sooooooooo Sugoi!!!
Burp: He's just so funny I love how he always looks pissed off
Shinso: Who's Bully
Bandana Dee: Kan-sensei's bulldog. Sometimes he brings him to class and we all get to play with him
Gex: Hey if Nezu could always understand human speech until he became super smart do you guys think Bully can understand us when we're speaking to him
qjajslfff: I want to believe
Shoda: Doesn't Class A have a guy who can literally speak to animals
Burp: HE COULD SPEAK TO BULLY FOR US
Gex: If Bully asked me to kill one of you guys I would do it no questions asked no hesitation I need you all to know that
Goth GF: Hey losers sorry I wasnt here today what did I miss
Bandana Dee: We let Honenuki cook and he almost burnt the dorms down
Beyblade: We found out Shishida has smelt all of us and Kamakiri and Monoma smell the best
Burp: Oh yeah and Monoma got carbon dioxide poisoning and is passed out
Goth GF: Sounds fun.
Toadette: Where were u Yanagi? 0w0
Goth GF: I was getting my hair done
Toadette: Ooooooo I wanna come see!! =w=
Goth GF: Sure
Goth GF: Where's Hiryu
Toadette: He's angy cuz Honenuki burned all his riceeeeee ;w;
Goth GF: Aw man
Goth GF: I need him to help me do my nails
Toadette: I'll do ur nails Yanagi!! :DDD
Horny: Come on come on come on I wanna do ur nails!! Let's do each other's nails! >:3c
Goth GF: Thank you Komori but I don't think you'll get what I'm going for
Bruce Lee: I will still do your nails
Goth GF: Oh there you are Hiryu
Gex: I thought you were sulking in your room
Bruce Lee: Kendo bought me more rice
Bruce Lee: Everybody please come to the foyer I have prepared dinner
Bruce Lee: (Image.png)
qjajslfff: When did you have time to cook ALL THAT? WHAT
Kendo: I just got you the rice less than an hour ago??
Bruce Lee: Yes I got to cooking and made you all food after the terrible burning of Honenuki I felt I had to repel the negative Fengshui of this dormitory
Bruce Lee: Please come down before it gets cold
Kendo: How did you make a WHOLE table spread?!?
Bruce Lee: That is Chinese work ethic.
Burp: I guess you could say he's got that Kung Fu Hustle
Air Jordans: Bro WHAT
Beyblade: Chinese cooks are just built different ong
Bruce Lee: Yanagi be at your room I will be there with my nail file in 5 minutes
Goth GF: Yes sir
Shinso: Can Class A come eat some too
Main Character: No
Kendo: Holy shit Monoma you're awake
Burp: You were out for 4 hours dude are you okay
Main Character: I was catching up with the chat
Main Character: Thank you Shishida
Main Character: Obviously I would smell the best because I treat my body like a temple
Main Character: I only use natural products and I make sure to wash my clothes twice a week. It's really that simple
qjajslfff: I wish I could smell
Notes:
Character Names Guide
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Seto Kaiba = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Big Guy = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu Rin
Chapter 12: Hand-Off
Summary:
Tokage loses her right hand.
Notes:
Sorry for the wait. I realize it's been a while since the last chapter. Unfortunately, I recently have been in a very bad car wreck, & found out my family in Palestine were killed. It has been a very difficult month for me and I haven't been able to write much. I tried to make this a fun one though, so I hope it makes up for the wait!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (3:10 PM)
Gex: Hey did anyone seemy right hand on the way out of class I kinda need it m
Air Jordans: Nope
qjajslfff: Haven't seen it, sorry
Bandana Dee: I've got it, Tokage. You left it in English Class
Gex: Awbman, tanks dude.bYou'rena lifesaver
Bandana Dee: I'll hand it to you at the dorms
Gex: Sounds good. It's haed typibg withjudt my left had
Gex: wait
Gex: Was that abfucking pun Awasem
Bandana Dee: Yeah
Bandana Dee: Caught me red handed
Gex: Not funny didn't laugh
Burp: You need to stop forgetting your body parts in random places tbh
Burp: It's getting out of hand
Gex: omfg
REAL STEEL: Good thing Awase was there to lend you a hand this time!
Air Jordans: That's why Awase's her Right Hand Man
qjajslfff: Yeah he's handy to have around
Gex: STOP
REAL STEEL: What? I was just saying You're lucky to have a RELIABLE friend like Awase!
Kendo: Okay guys seriously stop it. These hand jokes arent funny.
Gex: Thank you
Kendo: But on the other hand... They do annoy Tokage
Gex: YOUTOO????
Beyblade: Gotta hand it to you, Prez, that was a good one
Shiozaki: I believe it was a little underhanded to lead her on like that...
Gex: This is so.unfunny.I'n going to cry
Shoda: You don't need to diss our humor so offhandedly like that
Big Guy: Wow it seems even Shoda has had a hand in this pun battle
Soft & Wet: I'm trying to think of a pun to join in... But I guess I'm coming up empty-handed.
Gex: I will fight you all
Goth GF: Watch out everybody. She's about to throw hands
Scyther: Bring it on Tokage how are you gonna catch these hands when you can't even catch your own
Toadette: Tokage are you okay?? I'm surprised u lost that hand in class! :O
Gex: I jut lose them.sometimes ok
Toadette: I thought u were more of a hands-on learner :3c
Gex: That it
Gex: You are all uninvited.tomy birthday.party
Burp: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kendo: She can dish it out but she can't take it lol
Horny: EVERYBODY GUESS WHO IS WITH ME RIGHT NOW
Air Jordans: Is it Tokage's right hand
Burp: Best Jeanist
qjajslfff: You think Best Jeanist is here?
Burp: No but wouldn't it be crazy if he was
Horny: (Photo.png)
Horny: LOOK!!!!!
REAL STEEL: BULLY is HERE??? In THIS building????
Toadette: BULLY ALERT!!! BULLY ALERT!! NOT A DRILL
Horny: We have him for the whole day you guys need come down to the foyer
Beyblade: DIBS ON BELLY RUBS
Scyther: I don't fucking THINK so I'm gonna get there before all of you and rub his belly and scratch his ears and if ANY OF YOU LOSERS even TRY to stop me I will FUCKING STAB YOU
Horny: Yanagi bring my treats from our room!!
Goth GF: Oh I'm not at the dorms right now
Horny: What? Why?
Horny: Come quick! Come play with Bully!
Goth GF: Oh yeah, idk I don't think I can make it, sorry
Goth GF: But have fun without me
qjajslfff: What could possibly be more important than this
Goth GF: I have some schoolwork to like finish. Yk how it is
Main Character: OF ALL THE TIMES FOR THEM TO BRING BULLY THEY CHOSE THE ONE DAY I HAVE DETENTION?!!?
Kendo: That's kinda on you dude why did you randomly start screaming in the middle of Snipe-Sensei's class
Main Character: I told you. It wasn't for no reason.
Main Character: I found out Burnin and Sirius broke up do you not understand how devastated I am
Air Jordans: Who?
Main Character: THE SIDEKICKS OF PRO HEROS SELKIE AND ENDEAVOR THEY WERE DATING FOR 6 MONTHS AFTER THEIR JOINT MISSION IN KAMINO AND NOW THEY BROKE UP
Kendo: Oh wait seriously they were super cute that sucks
Gex: Awase where are you with my hand I need it
Bandana Dee: Right
Bandana Dee: About that
Bandana Dee: Listen Tokage I just wanna say what you've done with your hair lately is really working you're killing it
Gex: Thank you I know I am
Gex: Where's my hand
Bandana Dee: Have I ever told you that you have an amazing sense of humor
Gex: whereinyhand dudem
Bandana Dee: I may have lost it
Gex: AWASE WHY
Bandana Dee: What's the big deal it'll grow back
Gex: THAT'S NOT RHE OINT I NEED THAT HAND NIW TO PET THE DOG
Kendo: Alright everyone. Keep an eye out for Tokage's right hand
Kendo: We're gonna need all hands on deck
Kendo: Lol sorry
Gex: If I hear one more hand pun I'm going to lose my mind
Burp: No I think you should try losing LESS body parts actually
Burp: Just some advice
Beyblade: Can we kidnap class A's animal talker guy after this
REAL STEEL: YEAH! I want him to help us talk to BULLY!!
Kendo: No we are not going to kidnap another student.
Kendo: We can strongly persuade him to come translate though.
REAL STEEL: Oooooohhhhhh, right. Like BREAK his KNEECAPS. GOT IT!
Kendo: NO
Private Messages: Yanagi Reiko / Tsuyu Asui (6:30 PM)
Yanagi: Heyy I'm here for Movie Night. It's Room 329, right?
Tsuyu: Yep! I'll let you in
Yanagi: Thank you
Tsuyu: Np we're about to start in like half an hour so everyone else should be showing up soon
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (7:00 PM)
Bruce Lee: I took cute pictures of Bully just now look
Bruce Lee: (Image.png) (Image.png) (Image.png)
Air Jordans: Hey Hiryu, don't you guys eat dogs in China? I read that somewhere online.
Bruce Lee: ...
Air Jordans: ?
Bruce Lee: 💴
Air Jordans: Aw man, seriously?
Bruce Lee: Yes. Go put ¥500 in the Racism Jar
Air Jordans: Fineeeeeeee. I'm sorry
Bruce Lee: That's a stereotype I would never eat a dog
Hello: Cute doggy pictures
Burp: Okay what if we just lock him in a room with Bully and the only way out is to talk to him because Bully knows where the key is
Shoda: Still kidnapping
Big Guy: Why not just ask him politely
Beyblade: Does anyone here even know what his name is
Big Guy: Of course I do. It's Cola
Beyblade: I think you misheard. I'm pretty sure his name is Soda
Burp: He told me his name himself it's Kyoka
Shoda: Not even close. That's the aux cable girl. It's Kojima
Beyblade: Can we ask Shinsou
Beyblade: @Shinsou
Shinsou: Who pinged
Beyblade: What's the name of the animal talking guy in class A
Shinsou: You guys talking about Koda?
Beyblade: No, that's not it. Pretty sure his name is Soda
Burp: Wait why don't we just ask Monoma to copy his quirk
Kendo: Okay, that might work
qjajslfff: Shouldn't he be back from detention by now
Main Character: I'm stuck here for a bit longer but I'll see what I can do once I'm back
REAL STEEL: LETS GO BRONOMAAAAAAA
Private Messages: Yanagi Reiko / Tsuyu Asui (9:00 PM)
Yanagi: Thank you again for having me it was a lot of fun
Tsuyu: Yeah thanks for coming and hanging out
Tsuyu: Hope you two had fun
Tsuyu: Good luck with Shoji
Yanagi: lol idk what you're talking about lol
Tsuyu: If you say so
Yanagi: I just think he's cool and I vibe with his energy that's it
Yanagi: I'm probably not even gonna text him tbh I just got his number cause it was the polite thing to do
Yanagi: Anyways lol goodnight
Tsuyu: GN
Private Messages: Yanagi Reiko / Neito Monoma (9:05 PM)
Yanagi: So
Monoma: So...
Yanagi: Do you uh, wanna talk about the movie we watched?
Monoma: No.
Yanagi: Thank god me neither
Monoma: Not a word of this to anyone in class they cannot know
Yanagi: Sounds good to me
Monoma: Did you at least get his number
Yanagi: mmmmmmmmaybe
Monoma: ATTAGIRL!!!
Monoma: Tell me everything
Yanagi: I will but first I need to get back to the dorms and give Awase his bag back I think I took it by mistake
Yanagi: Hold on
Yanagi: Huh.
Monoma: ? What's up?
Yanagi: You would not believe what I just found in here.
Notes:
I hate to ask this, but if you enjoy my writing, it would mean a lot if you could donate even a dollar to help me out now that I've lost my car and my source of income. paypal.me/M0naVisa donations are entirely optional but if you do donate leave your Ao3 Name and I'll let you suggest a joke, headcanon or plot point for the fic! I realize it's not much, but it's all I can really offer. Thank you again for reading and for being patient with me.
Chapter 13: KA-Ching!
Summary:
Manga doesnt 100% understand how their powers work
Notes:
Hello. I'm sorry the updates have gotten less frequent. Its been difficult for me. Thank you for reading & supporting this silly little fic. It means a lot!
I got bored with some of the names I had before so I tweaked them a bit. The character name guide will be below in case you need it. As always, let me know what characters you wanna see more of, or if you feel your fav hasn't been getting enough spotlight!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (10:33 PM)
Gex: Okay so like
Gex: Manga how does your power even work
Burp: Great question.
Burp: I have no idea
Gex: No like fr how does it function what are the rules
Burp: No I'm serious I really genuinely have no idea
Gex: Dude what
Burp: I'm being so fr right now
Gex: How do you NOT know how your quirk works LMFAO
Burp: [Shrug.gif]
Burp: Idk it kinda just does
Burp: When I was a kid me and my friends tried to like, actually make a list of all the different sound effects I could make and what the rules were
Burp: And they were so inconsistent that we just gave up lol
Big Guy: Wdym?
Burp: I really just don't know how to make it work the way I want it to. Like, one time I wanted to create an electric attack so I said Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt
Burp: And then instead of electricity it just made a swarm of bees and we had to leave class early
qjajslfff: So you can't even decide what your words do?
Burp: Some words just don't even really do anything? Like if I say POOF you'd think I would create like a smoke cloud or disappear or something right
Burp: But nothing happens
Gex: Hold on
Gex: What if you said Cha-ching
Gex: Could you make money
Burp: I don't know never tried it before
Air Jordans: Wait hold on come to the dorms we've gotta try this
qjajslfff: Wouldn't that cause Inflation or something?
Air Jordans: Why would money inflate where would you even put the air
Shoda: No, inflation is when a surplus of money enters the economy, the inherent value of that money drops as a consequence of its decreased rarity. Money has to be finite to be valuable.
Beyblade: Who cares about that shit
Air Jordans: Yeah that sounds stupid
REAL STEEL: Let's get PAID, BITCH!
OFFLINE POV
Fukidashi stood in the middle of the lobby with a large chunk of the rest of Class B around him. His classmates stood patiently in near silence and anticipation.
"Okay" he breathed in, "here goes..."
"KaCHING!"
They waited for a moment, but to their disappointment, nothing happened.
"I don't think it's gonna work" he said, finally.
"No, you said the wrong word" Tokage argued, "You were supposed to say CHA-CHING, not KA-CHING. Try it again"
Manga breathed in again, and shouted out "CHA-CHING!"
Again, nothing but empty air.
"No, you're doing it all wrong" Tsuburaba replied, "You gotta say it like a cash register ding. Like 'cha-CHING!'"
"That's what I said!" He answered.
"No, you're saying it like 'CHA-ching!' It's supposed to be like 'CHA-Ching!' Like, the emphasis is on the Cha part"
"CHACHING?"
"No no no, CHA-Ching! Say it like me"
"CHAching?"
"CHA-Ching!"
"Yeah, this is not working" Manga interjected.
"Well not with THAT attitude!" Tsuburaba shot back.
"Maybe try making the sound for gold. Like gleam bling bling sparkle or something" Honenuki chirped up
"Gleam! Bling bling! Sparkle" Manga called. His words materialized into solid shaped katakana from his mouth and suddenly a shiny illuminated Kanji flew up into the air, glowing with multiple colours before disappearing.
"Well this was a waste of time" Awase said.
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (11:11 PM)
Burp: Sorry gang
Big Sis: We probably would have gotten in trouble for it anyways
Gex: Can you imagine if it worked though
Gex: We'd be sooooooooo rich
Shoda: We would be VILLAINS, Tokage!! Counterfeiting is a serious crime!!
Gex: Nah it's more like a silly crime.
Air Jordans: I rate counterfeiting more on the silly crime category than the serious category
Gex: I mean, imagine you're in Tartarus next to the worst of the worst villains. You've got Stain on your right and Muscular on the left.
Gex: And they're like 'I murdered 50 people including children what're you in for'
Gex: And you're just like
Gex: 'I tried to buy a PS5 with Monopoly money'
Gex: Not exactly serious
Toadette: Officer please put me in silly jail for my silly crimes :3c
Beyblade: If you get caught with counterfeit money I'm pretty sure they just tell you to leave the store. They don't even call the police or the heroes or anything
Beyblade: They're just like "Go away, loser"
Shinsou: Hey can you guys maybe keep the noise down up there
Main Character: Well would you LOOK who's TALKING
Shinsou: I'm not talking I'm texting actually
Shinsou: :)
Main Character: SHUTUPYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN
Burp: You guys are like. 10x louder than us on average.
Air Jordans: Yeah can it Aizawa Jr
Air Jordans: You're like Diet Eraserhead
Shinsou: Oh
Shinsou: I kinda like that actually
Shinsou changed their name to "Aizawa Jr"
Aizawa Jr: Thank you I am Aizawa Jr
Air Jordans: LITERALLY STOP USING MY BANGER INSULTS AS NICKNAMES YOURE ALL SO UNCREATIVE
Beyblade: Sorry bro you're just way too good at it
Big Sis: The noise is probably just Tetsu's workout music. It is a bit louder than usual today.
Big Sis: Can someone go knock on his door and tell him to lower it
Beyblade: Yeah I'm on it
Gex: If y'all could make money with your quirks what would you do with it
Air Jordans: Designer clothes
Beyblade: Laaaaaaaame
Beyblade: I'd buy an expensive camera and travel the world taking pictures n shit
qjajslfff: Hmmmmmm...
qjajslfff: Penthouse apartment. Expensive car.
Scyther: I'd buy a Katana
Bandana Dee: You already own a Katana
Scyther: I'd buy another one.
Gex: I would buy the school
Gex: And abolish the dress code
Gex: Actually I would make the dress code "Serve cunt every day".
Big Sis: Is this because you got caught wearing jeans in class today
Gex: I just HATE Formal Wear!! And it's so expensive for no reason?? Like we're forced to spend insane money on clothes that don't even look good.
Vine: I would donate it all to charity
Air Jordans: Can you at least pretend to be as selfish as us
Gex: Come on, Vivi, there's gotta be SOMETHING you want
Vine: No, the money will go to a greater cause. That is the ultimate satisfaction
Gex: Booooooooooo
Vine: Well... There is one thing...
Gex: 👀
Vine: I confess that I might be persuaded to indulge in some nice wigs...
Bandana Dee: Wigs? Seriously?
Vine: I should not have said anything. It is not a big deal I was just thinking out loud really
Horny: I'm confused. Why would Shiozaki want to wear a wig? It would look a little silly I think
Vine: You all wouldn't understand. It's just..
Something I've considered occasionally
Air Jordans: You can literally grow your hair on command
Vine: VINE Hair! Do you know how hard it is to style? To dye? To change? What if I want to have a natural hair colour or maybe I want to have bangs! You wouldn't know that, would you? Because NOBODY ever asks me what *I* want, and when I DO say what *I* want, everyone always acts all high and mighty like there's NO WAY Shiozaki could want something as SCANDALOUS as just a blonde bob every now and then! The Lord blessed me with a gift and a curse every day I have to style all my clothes around long green hair, have you ever had BIRDS NEST in your hair?! I just think MAYBE it would be nice but LORD FORBID I show even an OUNCE of selfishness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gex:
Bandana Dee:
Air Jordans:
Burp: Nah, I getcha sister
Burp: I'd probably buy wigs too
qjajslfff: Same
Burp: Normies just wouldn't understand the mutant urge to grow beautiful long hair
Big Guy: As someone with too much hair I think I'll pass
Big Guy: I'd rather buy a nice pair of comfortable shoes.
Big Sis: Shishida
Big Sis: Aren't you... Already super rich?
Big Guy: Yeah
Big Guy: I just already have most of everything you guys are talking about and I didn't wanna feel left out
Air Jordans: Shut up MrBeast
Big Guy: ?
Air Jordans: I mean,
Air Jordans: Youre rich. And you turn nto a beast
Big Guy: Oh good one
Big Guy changed their name to "MrBeast"
Burp: (MISTERRRBEEEEAAAAASSSTTT.mp4)
Air Jordans: I give up
Gex: I wish the real MrBeast would give us his money
Burp: Put Tokage in Squid Games
Gex: You know I'd have won that shit if I was there
Gex: Wait Shishida if you already have the money why don't you and your parents just buy a private island or something
MrBeast: Another one?
Gex: Oh my GOD
Vine: We do not use the Lord's name in vain, sister Tokage
Gex: Sorry
Gex: Oh my GOSH
Vine: Thank you
Gex: Hey Honenuki what would you do with 150 billion Yen?
Soft & Wet: Idk. Retire at 17 I guess.
Burp: WRONG
Burp: He's gonna liquidate all his assets
Burp: Get it
Air Jordans: Liquidate his ass
Gex: I'd love to liquidate that ass
Gex: I mean what
Air Jordans: Unspoken Rizz or Sexual Harassment, Chat?
Burp: Both
Soft & Wet: I thought it was funny
Gex: I would never actually flirt with Honenuki lol he looks like a zombie got depression
Soft & Wet: Good one
REAL STEEL: If I had all that money I would start my own brand of gyms across Japan! And the gimmick would be that WE pay YOU to train there! And the harder you TRAIN, the more we're PAYIN!
REAL STEEL: That'd be our SLOGAN
Shoda: That really doesn't feel like a viable business model Tetsu
REAL STEEL: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS
Shoda: That doesn't seem like the kind of business that could make money
REAL STEEL: I DONT WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY! I already have A BILLION YEN thats TOO MUCH! I thought we were talking about how WE'D GET RID OF IT
Big Sis: Tetsu lower your speaker volume
REAL STEEL: I'M NOT SPEAKING I'M TEXTING
Big Sis: No your music's too loud
REAL STEEL: YOU CAN HEAR MY MUSIC FROM ACROSS CAMPUS??? YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE A SUPER HEARING QUIRK
Big Sis: What
Beyblade: EVERYONE I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU ALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDDDDDDSDDDDDDDDDDDD
Beyblade: QQWWWWWWWWWWWQQQQQQZZZZZZXFFFNNMMZZZBBBVVV
Beyblade: (Video.mp4)
Not Emo: ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Horny: Am I hearing Dua Lipa
qjajslfff: Is that KUROIRO?? HE CAN DANCE?????
Gex: Ayo he's hitting that shit. He's kinda schmovin
Not Emo: Please stop I want everyone to not talk about it
REAL STEEL: Kuroibro I think it's AWESOME that you're trying to teach yourself how to dance! I wanna join you too next time! You shoulda asked me to help!
Not Emo: Please stop talking about it
Beyblade: Stop talking about what? You hitting the Griddy?
Burp: Guys seriously stop he doesn't want us to talk about the video of him getting Sturdy like nobody's business
Air Jordans: Yo he's got the moves though
Not Emo: Oh my god this is it. I'm never coming to class again
Vine: KUROIRO
Not Emo: Sorry
Not Emo: Oh my Gosh
Vine: Better
Shoda added Katsuki Bakugou to the chat
Shoda: Hey Iida asked me to add Bakugo to chat apparently he had something to ask us
Bakugo is Typing...
Main Character: Isn't one Class A Virgin in this chat enough??
Shoda: He's just here to ask a question and he'll be gone.
Bakugo is Typing...
Gex: He's taking a weirdly long time to type
Air Jordans: Still typing
Bakugo is Typing...
Burp: Hey man if ur such a slow typer maybe just leave a voice message
Beyblade: Yeah man send us a letter through the post it'll probably get here faster
Bakugo is Typing...
qjajslfff: Maybe if he types too fast he blows up the phone
Big Sis: When my parents bought me my first cellphone I was so excited that I went to turn it on immediately and I accidentally grew my fists huge and crushed it
Bakugo is Typing...
REAL STEEL: That's SO metal!! You're a BADASS Prez!!
Gex: Is Bakugo STILL typing? It's been like 10 minutes
Bakugo is Typing...
Burp: Man just ask us in person at this point
Toadette: LMAO I just saw the video of Kuro doing the shuffle XD
Toadette: He's kinda really good at it???? O_o
Toadette: He should do the default dance next-*shot*
Beyblade: See, Kuroiro? That wasn't so bad. We think your moves are dope
Shoda: I think he sunk into the space between the floorboards again
Soft & Wet: I'll let him know
Bakugo: YOU SHITFUCKING UNDERSTUDY EXTRAS OF EXTRAS STOP FUCKING BEATING EACH OTHER UP EVERY DAY LITERALLY ALL YOU ALL DO IS FIGHT EACH OTHER CONSTANTLY AND MAKE NOISE AND ITS ENOUGH WITH MY CLASS DOING ALL THEIR BULLSHIT BUT I HAVE TO SHARE SPACE WITH YOU FOURTH RATE DIPSHITS BURNING DOWN THE DORMS WHEN YOU MAKE RICE OR HAVING A FREE FOR ALL DURING THE FIRST WEEK OR WHATEVER THE FUCK AND NOW THERES A BUNCH OF CASH REGISTERS ALL OVER THE LOBBY AND I JUST KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YOU SO COME PICK UP YOUR MESS BEFORE THE CORONERS HAVE TO COME PICK UP YOUR PIECES
Bakugo: AND I'M NOT A SLOW TYPER I JUST DOUBLE CHECK TO MAKE SURE MY SPELLING AND GRAMMAR IS CORRECT ALL OF YOU SHUT UP NONE OF YOU ARE FUNNY YOU GODDAMN ANNOYING FUCKHEADS
Vine: Brother Bakugou....
Bakugo: SORRY VINES I MEANT YOU GOSHDARN ANNOYING FUCKHEADS
Vine: Much Better ❤️
Notes:
Character Names Guide
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Big Sis = Itsuka Kendo
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Vine = Shiozaki Ibara
MrBeast = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu RinAizawa Jr = Shinsou Hitoshi
Chapter 14: Iced Tea
Summary:
The Class B girls have their own groupchat
Notes:
This one's more of a different kind of chapter. I wanted to try and go for a different vibe this time. Hard to explain but you'll get it once you read it. A handful of the jokes & formats for chapters in this fic are intentionally homages to jokes & formats from Fatherhead's Class A Groupchat fic, so to that extent, this one is also closer in vibe to his fic.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
GIRLS NIGHT Groupchat (5:20 PM)
(Class B minus the Boys. It was Tokage's idea that each person get to choose another girl's nickname in the GC for them)
Members: Kendo (Butch Bitch), Komori (Fun-Gal), Tokage (Girl Himbo), Shiozaki (Blonde), Pony (CEO of YAOI), Kodai (Chatty), Yanagi (Scary Spice), Manga (Honorary Girlboss)
Butch Bitch: Hey Tokage I got our laundry done you can come by and get your clothes
Girl Himbo: Tight, I'll be right there
Scary Spice: Can I change my name yet these nicknames are so silly
Girl Himbo: No this was my greatest idea yet
Honorary Girlboss: I'm with Tokage these are kinda funny
Fun-gal: I like my nickname ;w;
Fun-gal: Thank you Kodai
Blonde: I must admit I feel rather taunted by mine
Butch Bitch: I don't even think I'm THAT Butch. I'm pretty Femme.
Scary Spice: Kendo just this morning you challenged me to arm wrestle you for a slice of pizza
Butch Bitch: So??? Liking pizza is butch??
Girl Himbo: I saw you in the hardware store just last week girl
Butch Bitch: So what
Girl Himbo: In a flannel shirt.
Butch Bitch: It goes with my jeans!
Butch Bitch: And I was only there to pick up some screws so I could hang a punching bag in my room
Fun-Gal: Kendo, you have a punching bag in your room?
Butch Bitch:
Butch Bitch: Okay no I think I'm starting to see it.
Girl Himbo: Girl we literally do our laundry together I KNOW you have nothing but boxer shorts
Girl Himbo: Not a single pair of panties
Butch Bitch: It's HARD to find underwear thats comfortable for physical training!
Honorary Girlboss: I'm not Femme or Butch, but a more comical third thing
CEO of YAOI: Enough Lesbian talk I don't care all I wanna know is how do we have FIVE Gay or bisexual guys in our class and NONE OF THEM have gotten together yet
CEO of YAOI: This is so BULLSHIT. Class A has THREE BL couples
Butch Bitch: I mean
Butch Bitch: I feel like the idea of dating anyone dating anyone else in Class B is weird lmao
Butch Bitch: We're kinda just a gang of misfits y'know?
Girl Himbo: Yeah Kendo if you're our Big Sister wouldn't dating one of us be incest
Butch Bitch: Not how I would put it
Girl Himbo: Not that I'm against that
Girl Himbo: Could be Hot
Butch Bitch: NO IT WOULDNT
Girl Himbo: More like Wincest
Girl Himbo: One-chan...! Wh-what are you doing, One-chan...? Youre not supposed to show me your sensitive place...! Waaaaaaaaaaaa~!
Butch Bitch: Alright that's it. Give me your phone. You've lost phone privileges.
Girl Himbo: You'll have to come here and take it from me~
Honorary Girlboss: Never underestimate Tokage. There is no bit she won't commit to
Blonde: I also have to agree. I wouldn't have ever considered dating any of you in the Class. You're all great friends but. Not ideal partners.
Scary Spice: Ngl yeah it'd be weird you're all basically like my siblings at this point. My weird, crazy, loud, chaotic siblings.
Honorary Girlboss: This
Honorary Girlboss: I'm not really into guys or girls but even if I was I don't think I'd be into any of you guys
Scary Spice: Class B is just way more like a family.
Fun-Gal: (Scratches head) Hmmmmm...
Fun-Gal: (shrugs) Idunno! :3 I might date someone in the class.
Fun-Gal: If there was someone cute who was my type and liked my mushrooms as much as I do heheh >:3c
Fun-Gal: I don't think it's that weird
CEO of YAOI: I DONT CARE WHO YOU GUYS WOULD DATE I WANT SOME BOY LOVE!!!!
Chatty: Mushrooms are asexual
Fun-Gal: I know! =w=
Fun-Gal: But they always thrive better with more of them around them, and wherever there's one shroom, it'll attract more spores and shrooms around it, until all the shrooms form like one organism
Fun-Gal: So I like to think it's more like all mushrooms are big Polycules <333
Honorary Girlboss: Progressive Win: These Mushrooms are in a polyromantic relationship
Scary Spice: All of you shut the fuck up about mushroom sex HE WANTS TO HANG OUT
Fun-Gal: Oh ;-;
Chatty: That's mean Reiko
Honorary Girlboss: Yeah Yui cook that fraud
Scary Spice: Ok sorry that was mean
Scary Spice: But HE TEXTED ME SAYING HE WANTS TO HANG OUT
Scary Spice: I think???
Scary Spice: [Screenshot.png]
Screenshot of Direct Messages: Reiko Yanagi / Mezo Shoji (6:00 PM)
Shoji: Hey
Yanagi: Heyyy
Shoji: Wyd
Yanagi: Nothing much. Just brewing a potion lol
Shoji: You brew potions?
Yanagi: No I mean
Yanagi: That's just what I call it when I'm making tea lmao
Yanagi: Just a cooler way of saying it yknow
Shoji: You drink tea?
Yanagi: Uhm. Yeah. Sometimes
Shoji: Cool
Yanagi: Do you?
Shoji: Sometimes
Yanagi: Cool
Shoji: I've only ever had Green Tea though. The only kind I know how to make.
Yanagi: Yeah no there are a lot of different kinds. You should maybe try some other teas
Shoji: Idk are there any good tea shops near campus
Yanagi: Yeah? I think. There are a few
Shoji: Cool. Can you take me to one so I can try some tea
Yanagi: What
Yanagi: I mean
Yanagi: No absolutely yeah for sure I can do that let's do it
GIRLS NIGHT Groupchat (6:08 PM)
Scary Spice: I'M IN
Girl Himbo: Brewing Potions??? Lmao???
Scary Spice: Shut up Lizard bitch he still wanted to hang
Girl Himbo: Ok go off Hermione
Scary Spice: Comparing me to a Harry Potter character is transphobic actually
Honorary Girlboss: I'm sorry I'm still hung up on the fact that this man has only ever drank one kind of tea his entire life
Butch Bitch: Take him to the shop on Imazura way. Make him try Iced Tea
Scary Spice: Do you think he'd like Iced Tea???
Butch Bitch: Girl idk
Scary Spice: What if he hates it and then he associates his hatred of Iced Tea with me and then everytime he sees me he thinks of Iced Tea and he gets pissed and he never texts me again
Honorary Girlboss: That would never happen but if it did it would be hands down the funniest reason ever to be ghosted by someone
CEO of YAOI: Yanagi if he dumps you over Iced Tea then he did never deserve you
Girl Himbo: REAL
Butch Bitch: 100%
Butch Bitch: I don't think he even cares about the tea, Yanagi. I think he just wants to hang out with you.
CEO of YAOI: Nobody hates Iced Tea anyways
Honorary Girlboss: Meh. I'm indifferent
CEO of YAOI: You've never had Arizona Iced Tea
Chatty: I like Tea
Girl Himbo: Hell yeah Yui me too
Girl Himbo: One-san will you come have tea with us?
Blonde: You really need to dial it back sometimes, Sister Tokage...
Butch Bitch: Nah, it's cool.
Butch Bitch: I know she doesn't really mean it
Butch Bitch: She just bullies people when she wants to flirt with them
Girl Himbo: Hahah what
Girl Himbo: No I don't
Girl Himbo: I flirt with people normally all the time
Butch Bitch: Alright. Maybe I'm mistaken.
Girl Himbo: You are
Butch Bitch: Okay
Honorary Girlboss: Y'all should just kiss already
Girl Himbo: What? No. Ew lmao
Girl Himbo: I wasnt serious about all that stuff lol Kendo is bossy and serious and I would never actually like someone like that
Butch Bitch: Mhm
Fun-Gal: (Jumps up n down excitedly) What are we gonna be doing for next girls night?? 0w0
Butch Bitch: I was thinking maybe we go watch a Boxing Match. Metal Munroe is fighting Shishio The Killer this week
Scary Spice: Y'know what? Sounds badass. I'm in
Blonde: Actually
Blonde: I believe it's my turn to pick Girl's Night this week 😃
Girl Himbo: Oh no. She's right. It is her turn this week.
Blonde: You know what that means 😊😊😊
Girl Himbo: Soup kitchen AGAIN?!?
Blonde: You don't enjoy helping the homeless, Sister Tokage??
Girl Himbo: On my Friday Night??
Blonde: We could always go for Sunday Mass instead
Fun-Gal: Soup Kitchen was fun tho!! I got to make mushroom soup for all those hungry people!!
CEO of YAOI: Sunday Mass might work better for me anyways
Honorary Girlboss: Man I wish the guys planned Guy Nights like y'all do
CEO of YAOI: Wait Manga aren't you in the boys chat too
Honorary Girlboss: Yeah I'm in both but I don't really use that one.
CEO of YAOI: Do they ever talk about maybe dating each other?
Honorary Girlboss: Hold on let me check
THE BROZONE LAYER Groupchat (6:51 PM)
Brosei: Would you rather have All Might's Quirk but no Dick or All Might's Dick but no Quirk
Brondo: All Might's Quirk but no Dick probably
Bronenuki: I say Quirk with no Dick. Being quirkless means I'd probably have to give up on being a pro hero
Guybara: Hold up why does this hypothetical assume All Might has a big dick
Guybara: Have you seen it or something
Brosei: Maybe
Brondo: Idk dude have you seen All Might in his prime. Dude definitely had big dick energy
Brondo: You can just tell it in his confidence.
Guybara: Nah I think Tsuburaba has just seen All Mights dick
BROBRO BROBRO: I PICK QUIRK WITH NO DICK. I THINK A HEALTHY SEX LIFE IS IMPORTANT BUT I COULD FIND HEALTHY ALTERNATIVES TO DICK LIKE DILDOS!!
Broda: Actually I'm gonna say Dick with no Quirk
Brosei: Damn we have a hot take
Broda: If I train my body enough I could probably still be physically capable enough to defend myself and even be a hero.
Bronoma: This is so stupid. This is actually so stupid
Brosetsu: Is this question assuming Prime All Might or Current All Might
Brosei: Prime All Might
Brosetsu: If I have his quirk, do I also have my own quirk ontop of it, or just his quirk?
Brosei: Both your quirk and his.
Brosetsu: Then powers with no Dick. I could just make myself a prosthetic or something
Brosei: Wouldn't be the same though
Honorary Bro: Hey what are you guys talking about
Brosei: Nothing much just debating would you rather have a dick or All Mights Quirk
Honorary Bro: I see
GIRLS NIGHT Groupchat (6:59 PM)
Honorary Girlboss: Not really, no.
CEO of YAOI: DAMNIT
Butch Bitch: Yeah maybe we do need Church.
Notes:
Theres a nicknames guide in the chapter this time but for The Guy's Chat
Brosetsu = Yosetsu Awase
Guybara = Kaibara Sen
Brogaru = Togaru Kamakiri
Kuroibro = Kuroiro Shihai
Jubrota = Jurota Shishida
Broda = Nirengeki Shoda
Brosei = Kosei Tsuburaba
BROBRO BROBRO = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Bronenuki = Honenuki Juzo
Brondo = Kojiro Bondo
Bronoma = Neito Monoma
Mom = Hiryu Rin
Chapter 15: Intermission
Summary:
Vlad King needs someone to sub for his class
Notes:
A VERY different kind of chapter for this week! A little shorter, much more standard written than text messages, but this was more of an intermission chapter so I could set up some future hijinks. As I write more chapters I wanna put the kids in more & more silly situations to see how they react
Chapter Text
Direct Messages: Enji Todoroki / Sekijiro Kan (7:19 PM)
Kan: Enji do you remember when we were training partners
Enji: Yes.
Kan: And we were trying to push your PR to 2000
Enji: Yes.
Kan: And you pushed yourself so hard that your fire reached a record temperature
Enji: ...Yes.
Kan: But your hero costume wasn't designed to handle it
Enji: And I accidentally burnt through my hero costume and ended up almost naked in that training center and you distracted everyone with the fire alarm then let me borrow your clothes YES I REMEMBER SEKIJIRO.
Kan: Great
Kan: Then you must remember the exact words you told me afterwards
Enji: No.
Kan: "If you ever need my aid I will not hesitate for one second to repay you"
Enji: ...
Enji: I did not say that.
Kan: Those were your exact words
Enji: So you're calling in your favor after all these years.
Enji: Who do you need me to kill?
Kan: What? Nobody. Holy shit.
Enji: Okay good because I was worried that was the direction this was going
Kan: You thought I was going to ask you to kill someone?
Enji: Well we make a lot of enemies.
Enji: I wouldn't have judged you, is all I mean.
Kan: No. Absolutely not. No murder is involved.
Enji: Then what is it. I have a busy schedule now.
Kan: Well remember how I helped you get your name on the Registry for UA substitute hero teachers last year.
Enji: FINALLY. I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO TEACH SHOTO'S CLASS 1 ON 1!!!!!!!!!
Kan: ...No, not exactly.
Kan: I have to go on behalf of UA to the Educator's Summit in Tokyo. I need someone to sub for my class.
Enji: Absolutely not. I despise children more than anything else.
Kan: ...Don't you have 4?
Enji: ...
Kan: I mean, more than ANYTHING else? Enji?
Enji: Okay maybe that was too harsh
Kan: This is what I'm always saying. We keep the extreme language for the villains. Endeavor the HERO loves Children. Would do anything for children.
Enji: Right. Yes. Of course.
Enji: Still, much too busy to teach a class. Why can't any of your co-workers fill in?
Kan: Most of them are coming to the conference with me. The ones that are staying are already spread thin.
Enji: Aren't there other heroes
Kan: Let's just say you weren't my first choice.
FLASHBACK POV: Class B's various Substitute Teachers
Mirko makes a grand entrance leaping dramatically and smashing through the window from the outside, landing into the class with debris everywhere. She proceeded to immediately smash Awase's desk in half right in front of him.
"CLASS IS IN SESSION!" She screamed, "FIRST LESSON! EVERYONE VS ME, WHOEVER CAN STAY STANDING THE LONGEST GETS AN A!"
Mirko gave no time for pause before immediately throwing a flurry of kicks at the students as they scrambled to dodge her blows.
---
Hawks arrives casually to the class through the door, giving a quick salute to the students as he strides in, "Hey gang. I'm your sub, call me Mr Hawks"
Shoda raised his hand sheepishly, "Mr Hawks? Class started an hour ago"
Hawks shrugged his shoulders "Yeah, sorry, I had some villains to put away on my way here. Tell you guys what, I'm gonna put on a movie for yall to watch while I finish up my patrol, then circle back here later and give you all some free autographs as long as you tell Mr Nezu I was here all day. Deal?"
---
"Hello class. I'm Best Jeanist. I'll be serving as your substitute teacher today" he said confidently as he entered the room.
"Mr Jeanist," Kendo chirped up, "Will we be continuing the Hero Acts of 2025 today?"
"Yes," he answered, "Everyone, please open your textbooks to page fif-" he began before suddenly stopping cold in his tracks staring at the window
"Mr Jeanist?" Tokage called, "Are you alright?"
The students tried to look out the window but saw nothing.
Best Jeanist approached the window and began to examine himself in the reflection. "No, no no. This is just all wrong."
He turned back towards the class. "Apologies, students, it would appear there's a small coffee drop stain on my left lapel. I won't be able to continue teaching under these conditions. I'll have to go back to my Agency and change uniforms. Please excuse me" he then ran frantically out of the classroom.
---
Sir Nighteye strides elegantly into the classroom. He stops dead center at the front. Folds his arms behind his back and then silently stares at the students for a while. Minutes pass in silence. Everyone is dead quiet. The only sound that can be heard is the ticking of the clock. Ten minutes pass in complete silence.
Manga raises his hand nervously, "Uhm, Mr Nighteye, sir, are you our substi-"
"Failed." Nighteye says, pointing at Manga. Then points to Tokage behind him, "Passed." Then to Honenuki, "Passed." Then to Bondo, "Failed." Then Monoma, "Failed." Then Yanagi, "Passed."
"You passed. You fail. You fail. You pass with difficulty. You pass. You fail. You'll pass," He said finally as he pointed to Kendo, "The rest of you fail."
Sir Nighteye adjusts his glasses as the class stands in shock, then walks out of the room.
---
All Might stood awkwardly in the classroom, looking over the students as they looked back at him expectedly.
"R-Right, well, good morning, class. I know you're all expecting Vlad-sensei today, but, uhm," he began, nervously "uh, n-never fear, for I AM HERE! Hahah!"
The class continued to stare at him, awaiting more.
All Might adjusts his collar, "That, uh, that line usually goes over pretty well with the Class A kids. Sorry, it's my uh, my old catchphrase, you know"
Monoma raised his hand "Why DO you spend so much time with Class A and never try to teach our class at all?"
"Yeah, it's kinda like they're your favorites or something" Bondo added.
All Might laughs nervously, "Hahah! Hah! No, that's, that's ridiculous! I don't have favourites"
"I mean it's not a big deal or anything, Mr All Might, sir, it's just a little demoralizing. You were kinda our childhood inspiration too, you know, and we finally get to UA then never actually get to meet you or spend any time training under you." Kendo spoke up on behalf of the rest, "It just sorta sucks".
"No! Not at all!" All Might replied hastily, "I do NOT have favorites. I am here for ALL of the students of UA High, that's why I took this job!"
"Guys, come on, let's give him a chance. He's trying his best. Hes here now, let's make the most of it"
All Might breathed a sigh of relief, "Yes, thank you, Koda"
"...Uhm, Sir? My name is Shoda..."
"Who's Koda?" Asked Shishida.
All Might laughed his signature deep, hearty laugh, a bit forcedly, before suddenly pretending to look at his watch which he wasn't actually wearing, "HAH HAH HAH HAH, Well, would you look at the time! Seems class is almost over! Great discussion today, students!"
"It's only been 15 minutes, sir" Yanagi replied.
"Yes! Well, I, uhm, OH MY GOD! LOOK OVER THERE! IS THAT A VILLAIN ATTACKING?" He pointed out the window panickedly. The students all turned their heads to look out the window but there was nothing but a clear sky on a sunny day.
They turned back to All Might only to find the door already halfway to closing as he was gone.
---
"Fat Gum-sensei, sir?" Pony raised her hand.
"Yeah, Horns?" Fat Gum replied.
"I'm just wondering, I'm still really new to Japanese schools, but how exactly is a potluck supposed going to teach us about heroing?"
"Hey! Which one of us is the Pro Hero here?" He shot back as he filled his plate with dumplings.
"You, but I'm just think to-"
Fat Gum cut her off as he chewed on a riceball "Yeah, exactly. So just trust the process, kids."
---
An alarm clock began to ring. The students watched as a tired hand raised up from behind the desk like a zombie and shut it off with a smack.
Aizawa lifted himself out of his sleeping bag and took a long stretch, "Well, that's the class. Thank you everyone for coming."
"But, you just slept the whole time?" Asked Awase.
"Exactly, and it was the best sleep I've ever had. Thank you, kids. I really needed this"
---
Mt Lady turns to meet the students with a big smile on her face!
"Hey everyone! I'm Mt Lady, but for today you can all call me Ms Takeyamaaaaa~!"
Mt Lady surveys the class and suddenly freezes when she sees Kendo
"Oh my GOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHH, Itsuka, is that you?? I didn't know I was gonna be subbing for your class today!"
Kendo waves nervously, "Hahah, yeah, hello Ms Takeyama. Thank you for subbing for the class today"
Mt Lady frowns "Who are you calling Ms Takeyama?? Come on, don't be like that! Don't they know??"
Kendo looks away, embarassed, "It's, really not that big of a deal to talk about, honestly, I didn't think it was worth bringing up"
"Ow! That's harsh. What do you mean not a big deal? I'm pretty big, y'know" she turns to the rest of the class for a second "Hah, size pun. Get it?"
"No, I know you are, that's not what I meant, it just wasnt ever really brought up"
"Well that's no fun." Mt Lady laughed, "Everyone, your classmate Itsuka and I are cousins! We grew up together!"
The class turned to Kendo, who forced a smile "Hahah, yep, we did...! So, are you gonna teach the class today?"
"She was always so loud and aggressive back then hahah. Hey Itsuka, remember when we used to wrestle?" Mt Lady continued.
"Well that was so long ago-"
"Oh my gosh, remember when I jumped from the dresser and body slammed you so hard you started crying? You cried and you went and told our parents and they got sooooooooooo mad"
Kendo, sinking deeper and deeper into her seat, simply replied, "...Yep! Crazy kids..."
"Ohmygosh, we have to take a selfie together," Mt Lady said excitedly as she pulled out her phone and got close to Kendo, "Come on, Itsuka! We GOTTA show Uncle Sojiko I was here toda-"
With an enlarged hand Kendo swatted Mt Lady's phone out of her hand and out the window "Oh, whoops! I'm so clumsy!! Dropped your phone through the window! I'll have to go down there and get it, bye everyone!" Then quickly hurried out the class.
Direct Messages: Sekijiro Kan / Enji Todoroki (7:24 PM)
Kan: Teaching isn't for everyone.
Enji: And what makes you think it's for me?
Kan: You always said you wanted to sub for UA! Your name is on the registry!
Enji: Yes, I wanted to be a substitute for Shoto's class.
Enji: You're not Shoto's teacher.
Kan: Enji, come on. Put your pride aside and help teach the next generation.
Kan: ALL of the next generation. Not just your kids.
Enji: I'm busy. Being the number one hero is a full time job.
Kan: Y'know, All Might is one of our best teachers. You wanna tell me All Might could do this better than you?
Enji: He's retired. That's different.
Kan: He was still a hero when he started.
Kan: All the kids love him.
Kan: I hear they might even give him Teacher of the Year
Enji: You're playing into my pride, aren't you
Kan: He really makes it look easy. He has so much wisdom and experience to share
Kan: Enji?
Enji: I need the curriculum, the class list, their transcripts, and all the material you've covered.
Kan: That's what I like to hear
Enji: How long are you away for
Kan: Just 4 days. I'll be back by Friday.
Enji: No. I want Friday too.
Kan: ?
Enji: I need a full week with these kids. Give me the full week, Sekijiro
Kan: Alright. You're the boss, number one.
Enji: You're Goddamn right.
Kan: You'll like them. Theyre hard workers, full of energy, and eager to prove themselves. Like someone else I know.
Enji: One more thing I need.
Kan: Hm?
Enji: I need a list of everything I'm not allowed to burn in your classroom
Enji: Including the students.
Kan: Yeah, I can get you that.
Chapter 16: Warming up
Summary:
Endeavor has a productive first day teaching the Class
Notes:
Sorry, it's been a while! I needed a bit to get my life back on track and feel good about my writing again. I also just didn't really know what direction I wanted to take this fic in now that I had set the scene with Endeavor as the teacher. This is more of a warm-up (Hah) while I get back into the swing of things and rediscover the class all over again. Thank you for sticking with me and the fic this long! Thank you for 100 Kudos!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (11:11 AM)
qjajslfff: Guys I don't mean to alarm anyone but I think hes actually going to murder us
Air Jordans: I dont wanna die I haven't even lived my dream of having a threeway yet please I wanna live
Main Character: Before we all die next period I wanted you all to know that you are re-invited to my funeral. The dress code is Sunday formal. No bright colors. Please bring flowers and cry loudly.
Big Sis: He's not going to murder us
Shoda: Hey guys I'm with Recovery Girl I'm ok
Shoda: Just severe heat stroke. Close call but I made it 👍
Big Sis: See that, guys? Shoda's fine!
Vines: Our Lord who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come; they will be done on earth as it is in Heaven
Big Sis: Shiozaki you are NOT Helping
Goth GF: I'm sorry can we talk about how Kaibara asked a question about the molecule structure and Endeavor just GLARED at him in silence until he broke down into tears
Beyblade: I wasn't crying. Shut up.
Beyblade: I was NOT crying.
Gex: You were sobbing, dude
Beyblade: The heat and light from looking at him was so intense it made my eyes water
Bandana Dee: You started blurting "I'm sorry, sir" over and over.
Beyblade: HE HAS AN INTIMIDATING AURA, OKAY??
Air Jordans: Man how the fuck does T-Meister put up with this everyday
Air Jordans: Imagine coming home from school and this man is just. In your kitchen. Making a sandwich.
Big Sis: My Grandpa was similar. This really isn't so bad.
MrBeast: At least we all get to say we trained under the Number One Hero
Main Character: ...
Main Character: No you're right. We have to see this through
Main Character: This will all be worth it. Finally the special treatment we deserve
Bandana Dee: I can't believe I'm saying this but I kinda wish class A got the special treatment this time around.
Big Sis: It's alright. We'll make it through this. We can do this, Gang.
Not Emo: This is what we get for scaring off All Might...
Big Sis: No, this is one test we WILL pass. We're tough, we're stubborn, and we're smart where it counts. Kan-sensei left Endeavor here to see what we're made of, and we WONT let him down
Big Sis: Come on guys! What happened to teamwork?
Gex: Have fun with that I'm out
REAL STEEL: FUCK YEAH KENBRO!!! WE'RE GONNA MAKE ENDEAVOR OUR BITCH!!!
Big Sis: NOT what I said but keep that energy
Horny: YEAH! I'm with Tetsu! Let's everyone make him our bitch!!
Gex: Tetsu, You son of a bitch, I'm in.
Air Jordans: Suddenly I feel a surge of motivation to excel academically
qjajslfff: Let's do it! Let's make him our Bitch!
Big Sis: Guys, no
Burp: Operation: Make Endeavor our Bitch is underway
Big Sis: Y'know what, sure, yeah, I can work with this.
FIFTH FLOOR GANG Groupchat (3:30 PM)
Big Sis: Nope nevermind we're fucked we're actually so fucked
REAL STEEL: DAMN!!! ENDEAVOR GOT HANDS!!!
qjajslfff: Where's Kan-sensei????
Burp renamed the Groupchat to "Endeavor's Bitches"
Gex: Honenuki are you okay???
Soft & Wet: Yeah I'm gucci just some third degree burns on my scalp. I should be good by tomorrow 👍
UA HIGH HERO COURSE CLASS 2-B Groupchat (3:43 PM)
Endeavor-Sensei: Hello, Children.
Endeavor-Sensei: I mean Students.
Endeavor-Sensei: The classroom has been burnt down. It will take some days to repair. Your principal has given us permission to move to the vacant classroom across the hall.
Endeavor-Sensei: Where is everybody
Endeavor-Sensei: Class I am speaking to you in the chatroom.
Kendo: We're here, Endeavor-Sensei, sir!
Endeavor-Sensei: Do not forget tomorrow is the physical exam. I will be timing you all against my old record when I attended UA.
Shoda: Endeavor-Sensei, sir, are you talking about your record of 27.55 seconds?
Endeavor-Sensei: Yes. I'm optimistic that it should be easy for the new generation of heroes to top it.
Endeavor-Sensei: Where is the spinning boy Kaibara
Kaibara: Present, Endeavor-Sensei!
Endeavor-Sensei: I apologize for making you cry.
Kaibara:
Kaibara: Thank You Sir
Endeavor-Sensei: Don't do it again.
Kaibara: Yes Sir.
Endeavor-Sensei: You all did. Good.
Endeavor-Sensei: Good job today.
Endeavor-Sensei: Keep it up.
Kendo: Thank you, sir.
Endeavor-Sensei: Do you all know my son Shouto
Kendo: Yes sir, we do.
Endeavor-Sensei: Is he popular in his class?
Kendo: I... Assume so?
Endeavor-Sensei: Good.
Endeavor-Sensei: Is he being bullied at all
Shoda: Not that we know of?
Shoda: Sir
Endeavor-Sensei: Good.
Endeavor-Sensei: Who is the boy from this class who beat him until he blacked out
Kendo: What? We don't know anyone like that
Kendo: You must have been mistaken, sensei.
Tetsutetsu: THAT WAS ME, SENSEI!
Endeavor-Sensei: Is that so? You're the boy who beat my son senseless?
Tetsutetsu: YES SIR! I gave him the FULL force of my STEEL FISTS OF JUSTICE! He was trying to push me away with his weak flames, but I PUSHED through them and REFUSED to STOP until I knew I had BEATEN HIM!!!
Shoda: Tetsu nO
Endeavor-Sensei: I see.
Shoda: Sensei, Sir, if I may
Endeavor-Sensei: I've heard about you, boy. I've been waiting a long time to meet you face to face.
Shoda: SIR IT WAS TRAINING! WE WERE TRAINING!
Tetsutetsu: YEAH! And I went ALL OUT!! NO HOLDS BARRED!
Shoda: TETSU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUTUP
Endeavor-Sensei: My son speaks very highly of you. Extra credit to you. I was worried that UA would be lacking in capable students who could prove a challenge for my boy. You got him to really unlock the full potential of his flames.
Endeavor-Sensei: Please join us for Dinner tonight.
Tetsutetsu: I would be HONORED, Sensei!!!
Shoda:
ENDEAVOR'S BITCHES Groupchat (4:00 PM)
Shoda: Can somone carry me to Recovery Girl I dot fewl sogood
qjajslfff: I've got him.
Big Sis: Thank you Bondo.
Big Sis: Please take me with you.
qjajslfff: Sure
Big Sis: Can you tell me it's all gonna be okay
qjajslfff: It's all gonna be fine. We're all gonna be okay.
Big Sis: Thankyiuy
Main Character: Do you really believe that Bondo
qjajslfff: Oh no we're absolutely dead we are not making it to Friday
Scyther: I didn't wanna say anything earlier but,
Scyther: This heat is terrible for my skin.
Scyther: Just thought you should all know.
Gex: What the fuck are you talking about dude
Main Character: God I KNOW, right? I need more cleanser
Scyther: They just don't get what we deal with, Monoma
Main Character: They will never understand the sacrifices we make for beauty
qjajslfff: Wednesday. I give us til wednesday.
Notes:
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Big Sis = Itsuka Kendo
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Vine = Shiozaki Ibara
MrBeast = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu RinAizawa Jr = Shinsou Hitoshi
Chapter 17: By Any Means Necessary
Summary:
Pony embarrasses Yanagi.
Notes:
I have a real job in screenwriting now! I'm a Comedy writer for Hard Drive and soon, Dropout.tv!! Unfortunately it also means all my writing has been for work lol, and it's left me with little to no time for these silly losers. But alright, fine, you guys get ONE more chapter out of me. I missed writing Class B nonsense.
(Expect the next chapter in like 3 years lmao)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ENDEAVORS' BITCHES Groupchat (8:00 PM)
Big Sis: Alright, training room's open
Big Sis: Looks like Midoriya finally passed out.
Shoda: Damn. 9 hours. I think that's a new record for him.
REAL STEEL: Hes Just Built DIFFERENT!!! On GOD!!
Main Character: Jeez, that took way too long.
Kendo: Alright, Monoma, Tsuburaba, Kamakiri, come on. We've gotta get our formation done for tomorrow or Endeavor-Sensei will burn our desks down again.
Scyther: I was doing fine you guys were just slowing me down
Main Character: You know, guys, the last time he burnt the class down, I really felt a vibe of sympathy
Main Character: I think he's starting to come around
Gex: Are you even hearing yourself rn dude
Main Character: No let me have this 😭😭
Gex: Monoma you are DELULU
Air Jordans: Nah, I'll pass
Big Sis: Excuse me?
Air Jordans: It's 8:30 my ass is NOT about to go train rn
Air Jordans: I'm dead tired after the exercises we did today.
Air Jordans: Besides, I'm fixing my sleep schedule tonight.
Shoda: You're actually gonna sleep early for a change?
Air Jordans: You heard me. I'm on my redemption arc for real this time.
Big Sis: Wow. I'm actually weirdly proud of you Tsuburaba.
Beyblade: Don't be. He linked up with an American friend of Pony's. He's just trying to be up early so he can text her.
Shoda: Aaaaaaaaand there it is.
Air Jordans: Idc care she's a 10
Air Jordans: And she thinks Asian boys are hot. I'm so in
Vine: Regardless of the reason, he's still adopting healthy behaviors. I'm proud of you, Kosei.
Air Jordans: [And I learn some English too]
Big Sis: Well we won't take that long. You can still come train with us and get to sleep early.
Scyther: Kendo. You always say we'll finish early.
Big Sis: Before midnight IS early!! Mirko-sensei and I go until 2 AM usually
Big Sis: I PROMISE if we all go now we'll be done by 11.
Air Jordans: Not gonna happen. Sorry, Prez.
Big Sis: I see.
Big Sis: Don't make me motivate you again Tsuburaba
Air Jordans: The fuck is that supposed to mean
Big Sis: : )
Air Jordans: I know you don't have my shoes anymore they're in my closet surrounded by an air barrier.
Big Sis: Aw, damn, you're right. Good call.
Big Sis: [Selfie.png]
Big Sis: Hey guys what do you think of my fit for training tonight? : )
Air Jordans: AYO WHERE DID YOU GET MY SUPREME NORTH FACE HOODIE FROM
Gex: Holy SHIT girl
qjajslfff: KENDO WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
Air Jordans: HOLD UP YOU TOLD ME WE LOST THAT WHEN THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS ATTACKED UA
Air Jordans: GIVE IT BACK WTF
Big Sis: Come and get it, Tsuburaba.
Big Sis: You know where I am.
Bandana Dee: This is evil
Bandana Dee: We all agree this is evil right
Big Sis: Come on Tsuburaba! : ) What happened to your redemption arc?
Air Jordans: Why do you do this to me
Big Sis: You'll thank me when you pass.
Gex: Tsuburaba when he finds out Kendo has stolen his kidney unless he does his geography report:
Burp: We are witnessing Kosei's villain origin story.
Air Jordans: Fine. Let's just get this over with.
Big Sis: That's the spirit, Tsuburaba!
Aizawa Jr: Hey Guys
Aizawa Jr: How's Endeavor week going
Beyblade: How do you think.
Aizawa Jr: I know I just thought maybe you guys would put on a brave face for me
Aizawa Jr: T-Meister says thanks for putting up with him and sorry in advance.
Beyblade: Tell T-Meister to suck my dick
Aizawa Jr: Will do
Beyblade: Wait what no don't actually
Beyblade: I'm not tryna get flame broiled
Aizawa Jr: Alright I won't
Gex: Don't worry dude tell him he can suck my dick instead.
Gex: For real.
Burp: Just in case he feels blue balled after Sen's invitation
Bandana Dee: Pretty sure he's taken already
Gex: Nah it's the thought that counts trust me. He'll get what I mean.
Goth GF: AEIEIDUFKDKDKDNDNSBANSKSKDJDNDNDNDJDJDJSBSNSJSKELDOFKFNCNCNDJDJSJAHSHH
Goth GF: PONY
Goth GF: WHERE THE FUCK IS PONY OH MY GOD
Goth GF: PONY I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL TURN YOU INTO A FUCKING GLUESTICK
Big Sis: Whoah whoah whoah
Big Sis: Calm down, girl
Goth GF: NO FUCK OFF KENDO
Goth GF: My life is over this is it.
Gex: Sister CHILL it can't be that bad
Horny: What is it, Yanagi-chan? Are you okay?
Goth GF: Don't fucking "Yanagi-chan" me
Goth GF: Did you have to leave your Vocaloid body pillows out on MY bed today????
Goth GF: SHOJI FUCKING SAW THEM I WAS GONNA INVITE HIM TO MY ROOM TONIGJT
Gex: Oh shit. Nevermind. It was that bad.
Horny: I thought you promised to keep those body pillows secret!! You just told the whole chat!
Goth GF: YOU RUINED MY CHANCES AT A NIGHT WITH SHOJI
Bandana Dee: Wait you've been hanging out with Shoji
Bandana Dee: Since when
Gex: She mostly just talks about it in the girls groupchat
Bandana Dee: Damn nobody tells me anything
Horny: I'm sorry, Reiko-chan! Endeavor-sensei makes us wake up so early in the morning, and we have so little time to make it to class before he gets mad!! I was in a rush! I must have left it there on accident!
Goth GF: Pony. I am telekinetically throwing your body pillows into the stratosphere sister
Horny: [NOOOOOOOOOO NOT KAITO-KUN YOU WITCH]
Aizawa Jr: Damn this mans really pushing you guys to the limit
Aizawa Jr: Good Luck
Bandana Dee: Don't you also have Thursday with us this week
Aizawa Jr: Nah I'm just gonna give Kan-sensei an excuse and ask for an extension on my work. My Dad'll talk to him for me.
Aizawa Jr: I'm not stepping into that classroom I'm just here for moral support
REAL STEEL: THATS NOT COOL, SHINBRO! A CLASS THAT TEMPERS THE HEAT TOGETHER IS STRONGER THAN THE HARDEST STEEL
Aizawa Jr: Nope, not convincing me
REAL STEEL: THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!!!
Private Messages: Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu / Todoroki Enji (8:56 PM)
Tetsutetsu: ENDEAVOR-SENSEI!
Enji: What
Tetsutetsu: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN EXTRA STUDENT TOMORROW!
Enji: Yes I know. Hitoshi Shinso of Class A.
Enji: I'm busy on patrol right now. Please don't bother me for small updates like this.
Tetsutetsu: BUT ENDEAVOUR-SENSEI! He says he DOESNT wanna SHOW UP!
Enji: ?
Enji: Why is that
Tetsutetsu: He says he's TOO INTIMIDATED by you!!
Enji: Hm.
Enji: I see.
Enji: Thank you Tetsutetsu.
Private Messages: Enji Todoroki / Aizawa Shota (8:59 PM)
Aizawa: Oh, he said that, did he? I see.
Enji: I personally would have expected the vigilante legend Eraserhead to raise and train much more vigilant children.
Aizawa: Yes, I think perhaps I have been giving him too much slack lately...
Enji: Aizawa. Give me your child.
Aizawa: Ok just don't phrase it like that.
ENDEAVORS' BITCHES Groupchat (9:05 PM)
Horny: Yanagi-chan please I'm sorry!!!
Goth GF: You ruin my chances with MY man, I ruin your chances with yours. That's fair.
Gex: All this drama over a boy. This is why I don't date men am I right fellow girl enjoyers
Vine: Yes... Admittedly this is a lot
Burp: All this for a dude who dresses like he lives in a grocery store and sleeps on a single dirty mattress in his room
Burp: Honestly crazy
REAL STEEL: ALL BOYS are KINGS!! DONT KNOCK IT til ya TRY IT!!
Aizawa Jr: What the fuck did you do Tetsu
REAL STEEL: SHINBRO!! Did you change your mind?
Aizawa Jr: WHY DOES MY DAD KNOW
REAL STEEL: I DIDNT SPEAK to Aizawa-sensei... That's strange!!
REAL STEEL: I ONLY told ENDEAVOR-SENSEI! Because he's our TEACHER and he DESERVES TO KNOW SO HE CAN DO HIS JOB RIGHT!!
MrBeast: Yeah man you gotta be careful. Ever since Endeavor started teaching us Tetsu has somehow become The Teachers Pet.
MrBeast: Roles have been completely reversed.
Beyblade: Damn bro what happened to all that talk about how hard you wanted to work to catch up to us and finally become a hero? What happened to that guy?
Aizawa Jr: Shut up. I'll do it.
REAL STEEL: HELL YEAH SHINBRO!!!
Private Messages: Tsunotori Pony / Yanagi Reiko
Pony: Reiko-chan open the door
Yanagi: No. And don't call me that anymore.
Pony: Yanagi-chan?
Yanagi: Yanagi-san.
Pony: I'll talk to Shoji! I'll tell him they were mine!
Yanagi: And what if he doesn't believe you?
Pony: ...
Pony: [Then I wouldn't want you to date him anyways. A guy who would judge you for your interests no matter how embarrassing and wouldn't trust you or your friends to communicate doesn't deserve you, Yanagi.]
Yanagi: Wow.
Yanagi: ...
Yanagi: ...I got like, half of that.
Yanagi: Sorry hold on
Yanagi: Ok no wow. Do you really mean that?
Pony: Of course!!
Yanagi: ...You're right. I'm sorry. I just. Worry that I'm not cool enough for him.
Pony: Yanagi, you're the coolest person I know. And you know why?
Yanagi: Because I let you borrow my makeup?
Pony: Because you're different and you're weird and you've NEVER been ashamed of that before.
Pony: Also, yeah, the makeup.
Pony: Don't change yourself or force yourself to be normal for a dude. ESPECIALLY not a dude whos just as weird as you are.
Yanagi: ...
Pony: Yanagi-san?
Pony: Are you okay? Are you crying in there???
Yanagi: Shut up.
Yanagi: Don't call me that. It's Reiko-chan.
Pony: ❤️
Yanagi: And now my eyeliner is messed up lol
Pony: Don't worry, I'll do it for you again ❤️
Yanagi: [Thanks, bestie 💜]
ENDEAVORS BITCHES Groupchat (11:00 PM)
Big Sis: We're back! See? That wasn't too bad!
Main Character: It's fine. We're doing this to rub it in Class A's face. We're doing this to rub it in Class A's face. We're doing this to rub it in Class A's face.
Big Sis: Wrong motivation but great attitude!
Main Character: Spite is my only motivation.
Aizawa Jr: You are so real for that.
Big Sis: Shinsou!! You're still awake! Awesome! I'm coming to get you now
Aizawa Jr: ???
Burp: Does He Know
Big Sis: If you're gonna be with us tomorrow you're gonna have to train hard and cram fast to catch up to all the physical exams Endeavor-sensei has had us do!!
Big Sis: These guys might be tired but I'm still good to go for another 3 hours! Come on! Before Midoriya takes the training room again
Scyther: I'm Not Tired
Scyther: Who said I was tired
Big Sis: Then why did we stop?
Scyther: I stopped cause you all stopped. I'm doing awesome right now.
Scyther: In fact I could probably go for another 4 hours
Scyther: Monoma was tired. I was just looking out for him
Big Sis: Alright then. Shinsou and I could probably go for another 4 hours too
Big Sis: Let's do it
Scyther: Fine by me. Let's do it.
Big Sis: Go ahead and meet us there right now
Scyther: I never even LEFT
Big Sis: Great! Then we'll be right there
Big Sis: You ready yet, Shinsou?
Aizawa Jr: No I don't think I will
Air Jordans: SHINSO NO
Air Jordans: SHINSO DONT RESPOND TO HER DONT TALK TO HER NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Aizawa Jr: What?
Gex: SHINSO LOCK YOUR DOOR
Burp: KEEP ERI SAFE IN HER ROOM DONT LET KENDO TAKE HER HOSTAGE
Beyblade: SHINSO REMEMBER HOW MANY TEETH YOU HAVE COUNT THEM QUICK BEFORE SHE GETS THERE
Aizawa Jr: What are you guys even talking about
Kendo: :)
Kendo: Don't worry about it
Not Emo: Its too late. He's already sealed his fate.
MrBeast: The hardest part about being a hero... You can't save everyone.
Bandana Dee: Man I miss Kan-sensei.
Notes:
Character Name Guide!
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Big Sis = Itsuka Kendo
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Vine = Shiozaki Ibara
MrBeast = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu RinAizawa Jr = Shinsou Hitoshi
(By the way, if you get the name to this chapter, you win a sneak peek at the next chapter)
Chapter 18: Cooling Down
Summary:
Shoda tries a new nickname
Notes:
Did I say 3 years I meant 3 hours apparently.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat
Bandana Dee: Did anyone else see news vans outside on the way to class?
MrBeast: They come here pretty often to harass All Might. I just ignore them usually
Nirengeki Shoda changed their name to "Mobile Adonis"
Mobile Adonis: What are we thinking, guys? W nickname, right?
Gex: Oh my god not this again
Air Jordans: L
REAL STEEL: BIGGEST W!!!
Scyther: L
MrBeast: L
Goth GF: L
Beyblade: L don't encourage him Tetsu
Gex: L how many times have we talked about this Shoda
Mobile Adonis: Oh come on! Why not?
Air Jordans: Bro NOBODY calls you that
Mobile Adonis: Tetsu does!
Burp: Tetsu calls oven mitts 'Boneless boxing gloves'
Tetsu: Cause they ARE!
Gex: We are NOT calling you that, dude. Give it up, it's not catching on
Mobile Adonis: Come on. Please?
Gex: It's too Self-serving. You can't just CHOOSE to call yourself something cool. None of us chose to gas ourselves up with our nicknames
Mobile Adonis: Monoma literally named himself "Main Character"!
Gex: Yeah but none of us like talking Monoma out of his delusions
Main Character: True and I own that
Mobile Adonis: I just wish you guys would hype me up just once
Beyblade: We hype you up plenty
qjajslfff: I voted for you as class rep
Air Jordans: We told you your hero costume was fire even though it looks like you're part of the Ginyu Force
Mobile Adonis: ITS PRACTICAL, FLEXIBLE ARMOR!
Gex: You gotta work your way up to Adonis, dude.
Burp: His nickname should be "Shorter Vegeta"
Gex: LOL
Mobile Adonis: Again, flexible armor is just practical
Burp: Come on dude. What about the power scouter
Mobile Adonis: Cause I can scout with my quirk!!
Air Jordans: Nah his nickname should be "Two-Punch Man"
Gex: Nah, too cool
Beyblade: How about "Koda" cause of that time All Might got his name wrong
Horny: I've got one!
Horny: "Shodapop"
Goth GF: Simple, I like it
Mobile Adonis: Are you guys just bullying me now
Hello: "Boy Scout"
Hello: Because he's a boy who scouts
Hello: It's very direct and self explanatory
MrBeast: Okay what about "The Fun One"
Beyblade: LMFAO I vote for The Fun One
Mobile Adonis: You guys don't even think I'm fun!
MrBeast: Yeah it's ironic lol
Mobile Adonis: Why did this just become a contest to come up with nicknames for me
Gex: Wait no. I've got it. I know exactly what his name should be.
Gex: "Twink Impact"
Air Jordans: Holy shit flawless. No notes
Beyblade: I changed my mind my vote goes to Twink Impact
Not Emo: I'm also voting for Twink Impact
Bandana Dee: Where were you, Kuroiro??
Not Emo: I'm usually in the chat I just don't talk much
Horny: I also think Twink Impact is the best nickname.
Mobile Adonis: Man screw you guys
Mobile Adonis changed their name to "Shoda"
Gex: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Beyblade: BOOOOOOOOO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT
Air Jordans: TWINK IMPACT OR WE RIOT
Shoda: Just shut up and get back to class already
UA Hero Course 2B Chatroom
Endeavor-sensei: Hello again Class
Endeavor-sensei: Children
Endeavor-sensei: Where are you. Are you seeing my messages?
Kendo: Yes sensei
Endeavor-sensei: Yes, we will be outside again today. Please ignore the news vans. They like to follow me around.
Awase: Why doesn't All Might just go outside and tell them to leave?
Endeavor-sensei: All Might?
Endeavor-sensei: No they're here for me
Endeavor-sensei: And probably to see what I'm doing here around children ever since those rumors came out.
Kendo: Actually, sensei, I was just speaking to them earlier. They said they wanted to interview us about your time as our teacher.
Endeavor-sensei: ...
Monoma: Wait, Tokyo News is here for US???
Endeavor-sensei: I see. Nevertheless, I won't tolerate them interfering with our training today.
Endeavor-sensei: I mean our lesson today.
Monoma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BUT THEY'RE HERE TO SPEAK TO US THEY WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD CLASS B'S UNTOLD STORY
Kendo: Maybe we can speak to them after class?
Endeavor-sensei: ...
Endeavor-sensei: Very well. I suppose I can't force you all or control who you do or don't speak to. Communicating with the press is an essential part of hero work.
Endeavor-sensei: You may speak to them
Monoma: YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
Endeavor-sensei: Monoma. Fifteen laps.
Monoma: OKAY SENSEI I'LL DO IT YOURE THE GREATEST THANK YOU SENSEI
Endeavor-sensei: Now be here in the next 60 seconds or you're all joining him.
Kendo: Understood, Sensei! Thank you!
Private Messages: Enji Todoroki / Fuyumi Todoroki
Enji: Fuyumi
Fuyumi: Yes? I'm here. How was your day with the kids?
Enji: The news came today.
Fuyumi: Ah, again?
Enji: They wanted to speak to the children... About me. About how I was teaching them.
Fuyumi: Oh...
Fuyumi: Are you worried they'll say bad things?
Enji: Possibly. I've been told I have a very intimidating approach to teaching.
Enji: Perhaps even strict. Oppressive.
Enji: They're very capable children. Incredibly capable, even. Every one of them has so much potential that's been dormant spent behind desks and school curriculums
Enji: All I want is for them to awaken to that potential and be the strongest, best version of themselves. Like... You know, like other kids.
Fuyumi: Yeah. I think I know what you mean.
Fuyumi: There are a lot of ways to be a bad teacher. But caring too much was never one of them.
Enji: Yes... I didn't think I would end up caring so much about these kids. I've only been with them for 5 days.
Enji: What if. They end up hating me?
Enji: And they never forgive me?
Enji: And I don't get to see them grow into strong heroes?
Fuyumi: Teaching is a thankless job, dad.
Fuyumi: But the reward is seeing those kids grow strong. Smart. Confident.
Fuyumi: Kinda like you.
Enji: I see.
Fuyumi: Maybe... Don't be afraid to show them a little vulnerability. They already see you as the number one hero. They've seen you as one of the most powerful people in the world. They already respect you, Dad. They just need to trust you.
Enji: ...I understand. Thank you, daughter.
Fuyumi: Hey, dad?
Fuyumi: I'm proud of you.
Enji: I
Enji: yes
Enji: You too
Tokyo News Breaking: Number One Fires Up the Next Generation!
Number one Pro Hero Endeavor was spotted at UA High this week, seemingly stepping in as a substitute teacher for a class of hero students. This mirrors the move by former Number One All Might near the end of his time as a Pro Hero, and may seem to indicate that Endeavor is looking to emulate his predecessor and have an impact on the next generation of Heroes.
However, with rumors abound of his history of abuse towards his children, its clear that this move may be not only tone deaf, but perhaps even dangerous. Should Endeavor even be allowed around kids? Should he be permitted to work on the same campus as his son, Shoto Todoroki?
"Endeavor-sensei is tough, way tough, but it's actually really different and kind of refreshing to really have our limits tested. I don't think I ever realized just how hard it is really being a pro hero until he started teaching our class, but now I feel like we've just been riding with training wheels this whole time" said Itsuka Kendo, class representative for Hero Course 2B, "He's especially been testing my leadership skills, but I know if I wanna be the kind of Hero that leads others like Endeavor or Best Jeanist, this is the best way to train!"
"HE'S CRAZY HARDCORE, HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE US ALL GIVE 300% EVERY DAY!" says Tetsutetsu, another student. Yet another student of 2B Yosetsu Awase says "Getting to train under the number one hero is an incredible opportunity we missed out on when All Might first came to UA. Its the kind of thing that really motivates you to show your best, and will look super impressive on our resumes after we graduate."
On the subject of his intimidating appearance and the rumors surrounding him, the students seem even less phased.
"Hes just like a Clathrus Archeri, super scary at first, but once you learn more about him, you realize he's just there to help! I hope he comes back soonshroom!" Testimony from Kinoko Komori.
"He's a total Zaddy" says Setsuna Tokage, a student in on recommendation.
"I believe that even if his history of abuse is true, he should be allowed to try again and teach us all he knows about herowork. There's so much we can learn from his decades of experience and in a way, he has a responsibility to impart that knowledge onto the future heroes of Japan" Said Mobile Adonis about his time with the Flame Hero.
"Well Obviously if Class A can go through so many incidents and crises and come out unscathed, then training under a strict, powerful hero like Endeavor-sensei is a walk in the park for the brilliant heroes of Class B. We're made of even tougher stuff and the secrets we're learning from Endeavor-sensei will make us the most elite group of heroes Japan has ever seen!" Said another boy about the opportunity. The boy forgot to give his name before walking away triumphantly.
"In the end, we all know that hero work is serious, lives are at stake and it's sometimes life or death. This kind of training is hard, and scary sometimes, but it's also necessary for us. We're grateful the number one hero Endeavor-sensei is the one to guide us through this." A truly touching final note from UA student Kosei Tsuburaba, "I don't think anyone else could do it like he does. Also, please listen to my mixtape at soundclo-"
Are Japan's next generation of Heroes taking away the right lessons from their new substitute mentor? Or is Endeavor training a new wave of despondent, serious, soldiers? It remains to be seen, but until then, the students of 2B seem to be in high spirits and even higher temperatures. Tokyo News, 2240.
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat
Shoda: YESSSS I WIN
Gex: We are still not calling you that.
Notes:
Character Name Guide!
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Big Sis = Itsuka Kendo
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Vine = Shiozaki Ibara
MrBeast = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu RinAizawa Jr = Shinsou Hitoshi
Chapter 19: Sucker Punch
Summary:
It's Endeavor's last day as substitute for Class B. Yui learns a new joke. Awase crashes out.
Notes:
Its ya girl back from the dead. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for the wait.
As a note, I regularly go back and edit previous chapters to include little tweaks and additional content. If you ever feel bored, consider re-reading from the start! You might be surprised if you haven't in a while.
The next chapter might be coming sooner than it took for this one. I have a skeleton already mapped out. I'm kinda just trying to get myself back into the swing of this fic. I also have some big plot threads incoming that I wanna experiment with.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat (7:30 AM)
Vine: (Goodmorning.mp4)
Big Sis: Morning
REAL STEEL: It's our last day with Endeavor-Sensei
Air Jordans: We're almost free
Big Sis: Holy shit, Tsubaraba
Air Jordans: ?
Big Sis: You're... awake. At this time.
Air Jordans: Yeah. I have to be. How am I gonna make it to class?
Air Jordans:
Air Jordans: Wait
Air Jordans: Oh My God what am I saying
Air Jordans: Guys what's happening to me
Shoda: Good Morning Tsuburaba. Doesn't it feel good to be awake bright and early?
Gex: Last Day with Endeavor-Sensei we did it guys. We made it out in one piece.
Burp: We made it out in what
Burp: (Saythatagain.gif)
MrBeast: The ONE PIECE?!?
Burp: DREAMIN
Horny: DONT GIVE IT UP LUFFY!!!!!!!!
Burp: DREAMIN
Scyther: DONT GIVE IT UP ZORO
Burp: DREAMIN
Beyblade: LAST DAY OF ENDEAVOR!!!!
Burp: Kaibara you messed up our song chain
Beyblade: Shit sorry I didn't notice
Beyblade: Sorry pretend I didn't say anything
Burp: Nah, it's too late. Moments gone.
Goth GF: Guys holy shit last day
MrBeast: I'm looking forward to not wearing fireproof lining under all my clothes
Big Sis: It'll be nice to see Kan-sensei and Bully again too.
REAL STEEL: Yeah
REAL STEEL: I miss Bully too.
Shoda: ?
Gex: What's up Tetsu?
REAL STEEL: Nothing. I'm excited too.
Big Sis: Hm.
Gex: Hey Tetsu, what's your opinion on protein?
REAL STEEL: It's a pretty important part of a workout diet. Keeps you lean and helps you burn more efficiently without carbs to load you down.
Gex: What the Sigma who are you
Big Sis: Tetsu, you're acting differwnt. Is everything okay?
REAL STEEL: ...
REAL STEEL: No, it's not :(
REAL STEEL: I really liked having Todoroki-Sensei teach our class.
REAL STEEL: Sorry guys I'm just not really feeling it today I guess.
Air Jordans: "Todoroki-Sensei" is crazy you don't know him like that bro 💀
Big Sis: Hmm.
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Itsuka Kendo / Setsuna Tokage (7:42 AM)
Kendo: His Dad walked out on him as a kid didn't he
Tokage: Holy FUCK you're good
Tokage: Listen I'm not supposed to tell that to anyone he's really insecure about it
Kendo: Don't worry.
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat (7:45 AM)
Horny: I wonder who our next substitute will be for Tuesday
MrBeast: I feel like it can only get better
Burp: Idk. We've kinda exhausted every pro hero in Japan at this point. Unless they got Hawks to agree to come back.
Beyblade: ...What did you say
Burp: ???
Burp: idk what you're talking about
Bruce Lee: Nah it couldn't be him. Associate Heroes of France invited Hawks to a conference this week. He's not in Japan right now.
Beyblade: WHAT did you say Hiryu
Bruce Lee: ???? My message is right there you can just read it again
Gex: HAWKS TUAH 😂😂😂 FLY ON THAT THANG
Burp: Peak Comedy Achieved
REAL STEEL: Yeah that was a good one Tokage
Beyblade: Man I hate it here
Hello: ?
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Kodai Yui / Setsuna Tokage (7:51 AM)
Kodai: Tokage
Tokage: What's up
Kodai: Whats "Hawks Tuah"? I don't get it
Tokage: Oh, uh
Tokage: (YouTube Link)
Kodai: Oh okay.
Kodai: Lol
Kodai: Thank you for sharing
Tokage: Anytime girly
___________________
Class 1-B Homeroom - 8:30 AM
___________________
The classroom is dead quiet at Class B sit at their desks nervously, confused. It has been 10 minutes, and Endeavor is nowhere to be seen.
"This is a test. It has to be test. He's testing us guys" Awase insisted.
"It's just so weird. This isn't like him at all. It doesn't add up" murmured Bondo, nervously fidgeting with the notebook on his desk.
"So like," Tokage spoke up, "if he doesn't show up in the first 15 minutes are we legally allowed to leave?"
"The fuck you mean 'legally', Tokage? Nobody's gonna arrest you for skipping class"
"Nah, I bet he's right outside the door waiting for one of us to step outside and leave. The moment we do, he goes full INFERNO on us!" Kamakiri fiercely flashed his blades as he gestured to the door, apparently ready for a fight.
"Do you guys think he's dead?" asked Yanagi, morbidly disinterested, "Like, maybe a villain finally got him"
"He can't be dead, he hasn't graded our reports from Friday, yet!" Protested Monoma, eager for the results back from their week with the number one hero.
"H-Hey... Don't say that" Tetsutetsu mumbled.
"I like how our teacher is 10 minutes late and our two options are 'hes dead' or 'hes waiting outside to jump us'"
"He's NOT dead, Manga!" Shoda retorted.
"I'm TELLING you guys he's testing us!" Awase repeated.
"Well how long is he gonna be testing us for? I gotta go to the washroom" Tsuburaba groaned.
"Bondo," Tokage pointed to him, "Go outside and check if he's waiting to jump us"
"What?! Why me?!" Bondo protested.
"Cause you're the strongest out of us you have the best chance of surviving"
"That's not gonna work again Tokage"
"Worth a shot"
"Enough. I'll go and check," Kendo finally stood up, "I'm gonna open the door, look out into the hallway, if he's not there, we all go to Principal Jezu's office together to ask if class is cancelled"
Kendo begins to walk up slowly towards the door.
"And if hes waiting outside?"
She turns around and looks dead serious at her classmates, "Then we run like hell".
Kendo doesn't tremble or hesitate, but she approaches the door handle very slowly and carefully. Her classmates watch in anticipation. As she finally clasps the door handle, her arm pulls it back.
Kendo faces the exit only to be met suddenly by Endeavors large, imposing body standing right in the doorway, holding the door handle from the other side.
"SCATTER!"
In a quick flash moment she winds back and unleashes a one-inch punch with an enlarged fist directly at Endeavor. The other students begin to panic and scramble in the class, Kamakiri unsheathes his blades and leaps at Endeavor, Shishida goes beast mode and Komori covers half of the class in thick mushroom foliage.
Endeavor takes the punch square in the gut, stands motionless for a second, then drops down to one knee, Kendo notices that his flames aren't on. She can finally make out his naturally red hair. She also realizes that he's not in his hero costume, instead wearing a white shirt, dress pants and tie.
Enji Todoroki raises a plastic bag in his right hand, weakly, before mumbling, winded and calm, "Good... Morning... Students. I brought... Mochi... For the class".
"Oh shit. Sorry Sensei. We thought, you were testing us" Kendo suddenly comments deadpan, in shock and embarrassment. The Class all freeze in place, staring at their substitute teacher.
Endeavor quietly gasps for air, "No,,, that's fine... Excellent reflexes, Ms Kendo. That punch was formidable. Good instincts, all of you. Pro Heroes should be... Vigilant, yes"
_________________________
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat (3:38 PM)
Burp: I can't believe you punched our sweet innocent teacher in the stomach while he was bringing us Mochi, Kendo
Big Sis: SHUT UP I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRAINING EXERCISE!!!
Bandana Dee: That's insane. He was literally just trying to do something nice for us and you assaulted him dude
Big Sis: IT WAS YOUR IDEA!!!
Gex: It was kinda hot, actually
REAL STEEL: It was a pretty impressive punch I guess
Shoda: T-Meister wants to be added to the chat do I let him in
Big Sis: No
Main Character: NO. NO MORE CLASS A WEIRDOS
Gex: Yes T-Meister is awesome
Horny: I like T-Meister! He can join!
Vine: All are welcome here, we don't discriminate.
REAL STEEL: Ah, I don't really care either way. Idk
Bandana Dee: No I hate that asshole he can suck a dick
Air Jordans: Damn Awase I know he stole ur crush but you don't gotta crashout like that
Main Character: Yes, Awase... Let the Darkness consume you... Let it mold you into something stronger...
Shoda: Three for three... We need a tiebreaker
Shoda: Yui?
Hello: Hawk TUAH! Spit on that thing
Shoda: ....What
Hello: Sorry I was quoting this funny video Tokage showed me. This girl in America makes a sound like Hawk TUAH
Main Character: Kodai do you. Know what she's talking about. In the video.
Hello: Yes, she's talking about performing oral sex.
Main Character: ...Okay just checking.
Shoda: Alright. Anybody else wanna vote if we let T-Meister into the chat
Soft & Wet: He's pretty chill. He can hang.
Shoda: That's 4 to 3. Any objections?
Nirengeki Shoda added "Shouto Todoroki" to the Chat
Shouto Todoroki changed their name to "T-Meister"
Gex: Wsg T-Dawg
T-Meister: Who sucker punched my dad in the stomach.
Gex: Oh boy
Shoda: T-Meister we can explain.
Big Sis: It was me.
Shoda: Yeah it was Kendo I'm not even gonna try this time.
T-Meister:
T-Meister: Awesome. He fucking sucks.
T-Meister: You're my hero
Big Sis: You're... Welcome?
Air Jordans: What the fuck is wrong with your family dude
T-Meister: Would you like to come hang out with us sometime Kendo
Big Sis: Yeah sure sounds tight. You me and Momo?
T-Meister: Yes
Big Sis: I'll be there.
T-Meister: Tetsu should be there too I think
Tetsu: I don't really think I can make it, sorry. I have prior obligations.
T-Meister: ?
T-Meister: Are you good, Tetsu?
Big Sis: Long story.
Bandana Dee: Wow thats so cool we're all friends with Shouto Todoroki
T-Meister: Call me T-Meister please
Bandana Dee: "Call me T-Meister please" 🤓
Air Jordans: AYO AWASE CHILL
Beyblade: He's crashing out
T-Meister: Is this because Kaminari tricked you into giving him money all those times
Bandana Dee: No but also how do you know about that
T-Meister: He told me about it. He said he feels very bad about it and wanted to pay you back.
Bandana Dee: Oh. Did he really?
T-Meister: No. I made that up. Sorry. I spread misinformation sometimes.
Bandana Dee: Oh fuck you
T-Meister: Sorry I was bored.
Bandana Dee: Alright that's it meet me outside I ain't taking this shit. We're doing this right now.
Air Jordans: This is almost impressive. Awase is reaching Monoma levels of Class A Hater energy.
T-Meister: Okay but I don't think we should fight.
Bandana Dee: Idgaf you are not as cool as everyone says you are
Bandana Dee: 30 minutes. Be there.
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Togaru Kamakiri / Yosetsu Awase (3:45 PM)
Kamakiri: Hey man I know I told you to be more assertive and stand up for yourself and I'm glad you are but I really don't think this is a good idea
Awase: I gotta bring him down a peg Kamakiri
Kamakiri: Dude.
Kamakiri: Can we be fr
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sen Kaibara / Yosetsu Awase (3:45 PM)
Kaibara: Bro he's gonna kick your ass
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Nirengeki Shoda / Yosetsu Awase (3:45 PM)
Shoda: I really think you should reconsider this Yoyo
Awase: I DONT CARE I'M FIGHTING HIM FOR MY HONOUR
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Setsuna Tokage / Yosetsu Awase (3:46 PM)
Tokage: Are you really gonna fight him
Awase: Yes
Tokage: This'll be fun
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Jurota Shishida / Yosetsu Awase (3:46 PM)
Shishida: Respectfully, he can create icebergs and infernos at the same time.
Shishida: You stick things together
Shishida: This is not a good idea
Awase: Just WATCH ME, YOU FURRY ASS BITCH
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Neito Monoma / Yosetsu Awase (3:46 PM)
Monoma: Yoyo
Awase: SHUT UP I DONT CARE I'M FIGHTING HIM AND YOU CANT STOP ME
Monoma: Good... Let the hate flow through you.
Awase: ?
Monoma: I mean
Monoma: Do it pussy. No balls.
Awase: FUCK YOU I AM DOING IT!!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Shiozaki Ibara / Yosetsu Awase (3:47 PM)
Shiozaki: 🙏
Awase: Not you too Shiozaki
Shiozaki: I'm praying for Todoroki, Brother Awase.
Shiozaki: Don't hurt him too bad.
Awase: I know youre just changing course to make me feel better about this but I just wanna say thank you it does actually feel better
Shiozaki: Yes sorry. Good luck though
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Itsuka Kendo / Shouto Todoroki (3:48 PM)
Kendo: Sorry you have to fight Awase
Todoroki: Why does he want to fight me
Kendo: He's mad because he had a crush on Yaoyorozu before you two started dating.
T-Meister: He wants my wife
Todoroki: Then I will destroy him for her honour.
Kendo: T-Meister don't be like your dad. Violence doesn't solve everything.
Kendo: Do you really think Momo would care if you won a fight in her honour? No girl is like that.
T-Meister: He challenged me. I can't back down.
Kendo: Listen how about no quirks? That sound fair?
Todoroki: ...
Todoroki: Okay. But I still plan on winning.
Kendo: Yeah well you're a guy so I figured you would say that.
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Itsuka Kendo / Yosetsu Awase (3:50 PM)
Kendo: I just saved your ass SO badly dude
Awase: Wdym
Kendo: No quirks. Just hands. Now I'm pretty sure he still folds you like an omelette because he's lowkey got nothing but muscles underneath his emo boy physique but I can teach you some good martial arts holds really quickly just meet me in Hall C NOW
Awase: Holy shit thank you Kendo why are you helping me
Kendo: Cause it's my job to clean up after you dumbasses now come on I only have 15 minutes.
_____________________
UA Infirmary - One Hour Later
_____________________
Recovery Girl suspiciously eyed the two roughed up, barely conscious students in front of her, dragged there by their friends.
Kendo looked at Recovery Girl with a tired expression, "Boys."
Recovery Girl just shook her head, "Don't I know it. Put them on the beds"
Kendo and Yaoyorozu hoisted the two boys onto the bed.
Yaoyorozu sighed, "I just don't know where you got the idea that I would be impressed if you won a fight in my honour, honey, really, it feels ridiculous"
"Yeah I tried to tell him."
"Kendo..." Awase groaned, from the bed, turning his head towards her "Did I win?"
"Neither of you won. But tying against Todoroki is pretty good too honestly"
"Did Momo see...?"
"Awase, I'm right here"
"Did you see me, Momo...?"
"If you're asking if I saw you put my boyfriend in a chokehold, yes, I did." She replied, deadpan, "Please don't do it again"
"Well... Alright... Since you asked so Nicely"
Yaoyorozu reached into her purse and pulled out ¥50,000, which she placed on the bedside next to him.
"These are for Kaminari. Thank you for putting up with him."
"Oh shit, I gotta go" Kendo exclaimed, looking at the clock on her phone, "Hey, thanks for helping me drag these two here, girl. Sorry again"
"Dont even mention it"
_____________________
ENDEAVOR'S Lovely and Obedient Students Groupchat (10:12 PM)
Burp: If I had a yen coin for every time someone from our class punched a Todoroki in the stomach today I'd have two yen coins which isn't a lot but it's weird that we keep doing it
Air Jordans: I keep saying. UA Fight Club. We can make this happen.
Scyther: Hell yeah Tsuburaba come on lets spar right now blow boy
Gex: LETS GO ROUND TWO
Air Jordans: Can't.
Gex: Oh what. Pussy
Beyblades: BOOOOOOOO No balls
Scyther: You mean "Can't" or "Won't"?
Air Jordans: Nah. Can't.
Air Jordans: It's a school night.
Notes:
CHARACTER NICKNAME GUIDE!
Bandana Dee = Yosetsu Awase
Beyblade = Sen Kaibara
Scyther = Togaru Kamakiri
Not Emo = Shihai Kuroiro
Big Sis = Itsuka Kendo
Hello = Yui Kodai
Toadette = Kinoko Komori
Vine = Shiozaki Ibara
MrBeast = Jurouta Shishida
Horny = Pony Tsunotori
Air Jordans = Kosei Tsuburaba
REAL STEEL = Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu
Gex = Setsuna Tokage
Burp = Fukidashi Manga
Soft & Wet = Honenuki Juzo
qjajslfff = Kojiro Bondo
Main Character = Monoma Neito
Goth GF = Reiko Yanagi
Bruce Lee = Hiryu RinAizawa Jr = Shinsou Hitoshi
T-Meister: Shouto Todoroki
Chapter 20: Its An Emergency
Summary:
On his flight back home, Vlad King gets an alarming text from his students, and a stressful few hours ensues.
Notes:
This is the big one! Its a two parter, a chapter longer than any other before it! Consider this my apology gift for making you guys wait so long between chapters. Its been a year since I began this fic and I've had an insanely eventful year at that, but now over 12 months later I'm realizing my most ambitious chapter yet. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Enji Todoroki (4:00 PM)
Kan: Thank you again for watching the kids, Enji. I'm sorry if they were a handful.
Kan: Feel free to give me names, I'll be sure to work them twice as hard so they dont get soft after you leave.
Enji: No, really. They did great.
Kan: Really?
Enji: Well,
Enji: Tsuburaba
Enji: But no most of them did great
Enji: I didn't think I'd be very good at it or that they'd listen to me, but you were right, they have potential, and they're eager to prove themselves.
Enji: They were all model heroes. You should be proud.
Kan: Well, wow. That's very high praise coming from the number one hero. I guess my students really are exceptional but it
Kan: Yeah. It sounds nice to hear it from you. They really are amazing, aren't they?
Kan: Most Substitutes don't even last a day, honestly. I was a little worried.
Enji: Perhaps there really is something to teaching the next generation. They taught me something about the way I tried teaching my own kids when they were young.
Kan: Yeah. Teaching a class will do that to you.
Kan: It's stressful, and it takes up all your free time, and sometimes you really wish you stuck to hero work
Kan: But man, whenever I see a kid I taught on TV, doing hero work professionally
Kan: I wouldn't trade that feeling of pride for the world.
Enji: Your students have real potential. I'm eagerly waiting to see what comes of them.
Enji: If you ever need a substitute again, let me know. I wouldn't mind spending time with your class again.
Kan: I will, thank you.
Kan: Nezu should be done teaching the class for today.
Enji: Is your flight soon?
Kan: It was delayed but I think we're boarding soon. Can't wait to be back home.
Enji: Safe travels, Sekijirou.
Kan: Thank you
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Nirengeki Shoda (7:22 PM)
Shoda: Sir
Shoda: Kan-sensei Sir
Kan: Yes hello Shoda
Shoda: Sir Please You hAVE TO COME QUICK
Kan: I'm in the airplane right now. I'll be back with you all tomorrow morning.
Shoda: No you HAVE to come NOW
Kan: Yes, yes, I missed you all too wwwwwww we'll talk when I've landed
Shoda: SIR ITS AN EMERGENCY
Shoda: (Sent a Photo)
Kan: ...
Kan: What the hell is going on
Shoda: ITS A FREE FOR ALL SIR WE'RE ALL FIGHTING EACH OTHER. THEY GOT SOME STUDENTS FROM CLASS A WE'RE OUTNUMBERED
Kan: WHAT???
Kan: Shoda?
Kan: Shoda what happened?!
Shoda: THEYVE GOT ME PINNED TO THE GROUND SIR PLEASE ITS BAD
Shoda: QQWSSDDFFWWWQASDFFFFFQQQASXFF
Kan: Shoda??
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Itsuka Kendo (7:30 PM)
Kan: Kendo
Kan: Kendo WHAT is going on
Kan: Hello??
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (7:38 PM)
Kan: Tetsu, what is going on? Are you all under attack? Are you all okay?
Tetsutetsu: Oh, hey Sensei.
Tetsutetsu: Sorry I'm not really sure. I guess I can go ask. I heard a lot of shouting and banging and stuff outside.
Kan: Where are you right now?
Tetsutetsu: I've been in my room all day. Idk. Just having a bad couple of days mental health wise
Tetsutetsu: Like, what's the point, you know?
Kan: ??? Is this someone pretending to be Tetsu?
Tetsutetsu: No sir, it's me.
Kan: Why are you so depressed?
Tetsutetsu: Idk. Sorry.
Kan: WHAT is going ON???? I WAS GONE FOR A WEEK!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Setsuna Tokage (7:54 PM)
Kan: Tokage
Kan: What did you do this time
Tokage: NOTHING!
Tokage: It wasn't me! Honest!
Kan: What is going ON?!
Tokage: Idk! Everyone's fighting each other!
Tokage: I didn't do anything its not my fault Kodai doesn't label her shit!
Kan: What??
Tokage: Idk it's all because of Tsuburaba!! Its not me!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Kosei Tsuburaba (8:00 PM)
Kan: Tsuburaba what did you do
Kan: Explain yourself right now young man
Tsuburaba: I'm dying Sensei
Kan: What?
Tsuburaba: I'm going to die. I don't want to die. Please sir I don't wanna die I can't die I'm too young I haven't even gotten a long term girlfriend yet
Tsuburaba: I'm going to die this is it
Kan: What are you talking about?? Are you hurt??? Did a villain do anything to you???
Tsuburaba: I'mgoijg to die I'm goING TO DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Kan: Tsuburaba pull yourself together
Kan: Tsuburaba???!?!!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Itsuka Kendo (8:15 PM)
Kendo: Hey Sensei sorry I missed your text what's up
Kan: KENDO
Kan: Is everyone safe?!?
Kendo: I don't know? I would assume so
Kan: What do you mean you DONT KNOW?!
Kendo: It's my day off
Kendo: I'm at the spa with Yaoyorozu and Todoroki from Class A
Kendo: I left Shoda in charge
Kan: WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT LEAVING SHODA IN CHARGE?!
Kendo: He's a big boy! He can handle them
Kan: (Sent an image)
Kendo: Ah
Kendo: Yeah, I uh
Kendo: Well I hope they figure that out.
Kan: Get over there now
Kendo: Sensei, respectfully,
Kendo: This masseuse is going to WORK on me rn
Kan: Kendo, your classmates are in danger!
Kendo: That's crazy.
Kendo: I will look into it
Kan: Thank you
Kendo: In 2-3 hours.
Kan: KENDO!
Kendo: Whoops sorry the phone signal in here is getting bad
Kan: DAMNIT, KENDO!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Neito Monoma (8:29 PM)
Kan: Monoma please tell me you can tell me exactly what is happening
Monoma: Kan-sensei! What a surprise! How's your flight going?
Kan: Badly. What is happening with the class? Is there a villain attacking?
Monoma: No! No villain. We're all fine and peachy keen
Monoma: Really, Shoda was just exaggerating. We're okay!
Kan: I see
Kan: Wait.
Kan: How did you know Shoda spoke to me?
Monoma:
Monoma: You ask too many questions, Sensei.
Monoma: Shoda was a worm. A lowly background character who didn't know his place. And he has been disposed of.
Kan: Can you AT LEAST tell me if anyone is gravely hurt
Monoma: Nobody is gravely hurt.
Kan: Good.
Monoma: Yet.
Kan: WHAT
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Yosetsu Awase (8:35 PM)
Kan: Awase you're the most sane student I have please tell me what's happening
Awase: Sorry sensei I've been in my room all day I tried to fight Todoroki and got beat up pretty badly.
Kan: WAIT, THE GROUP CHAT
Kan: Can you check the group chat and see what they were talking about?
Awase: Can't. Monoma went rogue. Took Shoda's phone and kicked everyone from the group chat. That was like 10 minutes ago.
Awase: I think I read something about "Passion of the Christ"? Kamakiri was in here earlier, he was putting on a little cherub costume.
Awase: It was kinda funny.
Kan: THIS JUST GETS MORE AND MORE CONFUSING WHAT IS HAPPENING
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Tsunotori Pony (8:43 PM)
Kan: Pony
Kan: Wait a second
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Yosetsu Awase (8:43 PM)
Kan: You fought SHOUTO TODOROKI from CLASS A?!
Awase: Yeah. No quirks. Just hands
Kan: ...
Kan: ...Did you win?
Awase: We both went to ground at the same time, went about even. He gave me a nasty black eye, I think I broke his shoulder.
Kan: Damn Good Job Awase.
Kan: I mean don't do that again, it's highly frowned upon
Kan: But Good Job.
Awase: Thank you sir
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Tsunotori Pony (8:45 PM)
Kan: PONY
Pony: Yes hello sensei
Kan: Oh Pony thank heavens you answered
Kan: Pony WHAT is happening
Kan: Why is Tsuburaba dying
Kan: Where is Shoda
Kan: Why is Kodai wrapped up in Shiozaki's vines?
Pony: It's uhm, I'm not sure what the word in Japanese is
Kan: Just tell me in English
Pony: No, I want to get better at Japanese
Kan: Okay just. Use small words
Pony: Tsuburaba thought a Doctor was candy, and now we're commemorating him
Kan: ...Oh Boy.
Pony: I think it started earlier, when Tsuburaba was in Tokage's Body Fat.
Kan: He was WHERE!?
Pony: He set up in the West.
Kan: What did he set up in the West?
Pony: Sorry, no, I wrote that wrong. He ate in the West.
Kan: The western cafeteria? Or he ate western food?
Pony: No! Hes eating the Western.
Kan: Dear god, give me the patience
Kan: Pony please speak in English.
Pony: NO! No English!
Pony: He was in Tokage's Hey Ya when he ate the Western Hemisphere
Kan: you mean her room, right?
Kan: [Tokage's room?]
Pony: Yes! And he saw a Doctor
Kan: Why did he see a Doctor?
Pony: Tsuburaba ate with the Doctor
Kan: No, you're still not making sense. Try again
Pony: A Western Doctor?
Kan: Pony, try adding an adjective, what adjectives did we go over this year?
Pony: Uhm
Pony: The West was small
Pony: The Doctor, I mean.
Pony: A small colourful doctor
Kan: A small, colourful...
Kan: A stone! You mean a stone?
Pony: Yes!
Kan: But why did he eat with a
Kan: OH
Kan: TSUBURABA ATE A ROCK
Pony: Yes! Yes! He ate some small rocks
Kan: In Tokage's room?
Pony: Yes.
Kan: Why does he think he's going to die?
Pony: The rocks are commemorative. We brought him some bran muffins from the cafeteria
Kan: To Celebrate?
Pony: No, to help him get the rocks out.
Kan: Oh, Bran muffins. Of course.
Kan: The rocks are DANGEROUS, you mean. You need to help him get the rocks out, so you brought him bran muffins.
Kan: Wait, what does this have to do with the situation right now!?
Pony: The rocks might explode
Kan: Here we go again.
Pony: [No, really, the rocks might explode]
Kan: Oh.
Kan: Wait, what
Pony: Maybe you ask Manga, they are free. I have to get back to fighting now.
Kan: No! STOP fighting!
Kan: Pony!
Kan: Gah, I still don't understand what's happening
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Manga Fukidashi (9:18 PM)
Kan: Manga you're my last resort
Kan: Do you know what happened
Kan: Why are you all dressed like cherub angels or demons
Manga: Well we kinda had to if we wanted to use the cross
Kan: Why did you need the cross?!?
Manga: Well we had to keep Kodai restrained, Sensei
Kan: WHY DID YOU NEED KODAI RESTRAINED ON A CROSS??
Manga: Look idk it was all Shiozaki's idea honestly
Kan: Manga?? What was Shiozaki's idea? To restrain Kodai?
Kan: Answer me!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Shota Aizawa (9:39 PM)
Aizawa: Hey I know you're on your plane so don't freak out but my kids fighting your kids.
Kan: I KNOW!!!!
Aizawa: Do you know WHY they're fighting?
Kan: I DONT!!!!
Kan: I'M TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT BUT NONE OF THEM CAN TELL ME
Kan: AND NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE
Aizawa: I'm omw to break it up but I'm running late because I'm with Mic.
Aizawa: When does your plane land
Kan: 30 more minutes
Aizawa: I'll try to handle it
Kan: Thank you
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Togaru Kamakiri (9:58 PM)
Kan: Kamakiri
Kamakiri: Sensei
Kan: What's happening
Kamakiri: A brawl, sir. For our honor, for our friend. For the thrill of the victory.
Kamakiri: The miscreants from Class B, Class A, Class C, they're all coming at me, and I am Winning.
Kamakiri: I am WINNING!!!
Kan: Alright you're not gonna help I'm moving on
Kamakiri: WITNESS ME, SENSEI!!!
Kamakiri: WITNESS ME!!!!!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Kaibara Sen (10:01 PM)
Kan: Kaibara, I’m running out of students to ask, I need you to tell me exactly what is happening.
Kaibara: Nothing is happening. Everything is fine sir
Kan: Kaibara.
Kaibara: What?
Kan: So Tsuburaba isn't dying?
Kaibara: No. Besides why would I care if he was.
Kaibara: It's not like he's my best friend or anything.
Kaibara: He's not. I don't care. He can die if he wants to. I'll find someone else to listen to music with and show all my photography to and joke with in class
Kaibara: It's literally not a big deal
Kan: Hm. Okay.
Kaibara: Everything is chill. We're just watching a movie right now and that's why everyone's talking about fighting and shit. We're fine and safe.
Kan: Kaibara
Kan: What did I teach you boys about toxic and healthy masculinity?
Kaibara: Idk. I wasn't paying attention.
Kan: So you're fine with leaving Tsuburaba in danger?
Kaibara: Yeah. Totally.
Kan: Do you think he would feel the same?
Kaibara: Idk. I don't care how he feels.
Kan: Do you think he considers YOU his best friend?
Kaibara: ...
Kaibara: Idk. I never asked him.
Kan: Do you think your relationship would change if you both told each other you were each other's best friend?
Kaibara: Maybe
Kan: So you'd rather be alone?
Kaibara: ...No.
Kan: Do you think it's fair that Tsuburaba will die before he finds out you saw him as his best friend?
Kaibara: No. Its not...
Kan: So what are you gonna do about it?
Kaibara: I'm. Gonna tell him?
Kan: Don't ask me. ARE you going to tell him?
Kaibara: ...Yeah. Yeah! I am gonna tell him!
Kan: Yes you are. What are you gonna tell him?
Kaibara: That he's important to me! No homo
Kan: That's right.
Kaibara: I'm gonna tell him!
Kan: Attaboy. And you're gonna help him?
Kaibara: Yeah, I guess I could help him
Kan: And why are you going to help him?
Kaibara: Because he's mY BEST FRIEND GODDAMNIT AND HE DESERVES TO KNOW!!!
Kan: That's it.
Kan: Now, PLEASE help me help you all
Kan: Kaibara?
Kan: Did you just LEAVE? DAMNIT BOY COME BACK
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Shiozaki Ibara (10:10 PM)
Kan: Where did you get the cross Ibara
Kan: Answer me young lady
Shiozaki: Sensei, don't you know its impolite to interrupt mass?
Kan: WHAT are you talking about
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Shota Aizawa (10:11 PM)
Aizawa: Any luck?
Kan: No... I give up.
Kan: Wait!!
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Kaibara Sen (10:11 PM)
Kaibara: Sorry I was in a rush I left my phone in my room lol
Kan: KAIBARA!!
Kaibara: Okay sensei. What do you need.
Kan: I need you to tell me What is happening.
Kaibara: Right
Kaibara: Okay, well, basically, it all started this morning when Tsuburaba was hanging out in Tokage's room.
Kan: He ate some rocks?
Kaibara: Right, well, Tokages roommate is Kodai, and Kodai wasnt there. So he found some small colourful rocks on the dresser table and he ate them.
Kan: ...Why?
Kaibara: It's Tsuburaba
Kan: Right.
Kaibara: Well it was all going smoothly until we got back from class...
[FLASHBACK]
NEZU'S Lovely and Obedient Students GROUPCHAT (3:40 PM)
Hello: Tokage, have you seen my rocks?
Gex: Nah, not since this morning
Gex: But nevermind the rocks, don't you think Kaibara is lowkey cute?
Hello: Yes, he is.
[FLASHBACK END]
Kan: They said that?
Kaibara: Yeah, they did
Kan: Really?
Kaibara: No totally. I had my hair cut recently I was looking really fresh today trust
[FLASHBACK]
Air Jordans: Sorry Yui I ate your rock candy lol
Hello: Rock... Candy...?
Air Jordans: I mean they were stale anyways. I think I chipped a tooth on them. Not that sweet either.
Gex: No way. There's no way.
Air Jordans: Also yeah Kaibara is awesome, he's my best friend Highkey.
Horny: OMG are you guys talking about how cute Kaibara is?
Gex: He's a ten, right??
Horny: I was worried I was the only one who thought so. I'm so glad everyone agrees.
Goth GF: Nah Kaibara is hot. That's just a fact
Big Sis: I'm a lesbian but ngl even I have to admit Kaibara is some real eye candy
Big Sis: And his personality is really endearing.
Gex: Kosei that wasn't rock candy.
Air Jordans: What do you mean. What was it then
Gex: Oh my god you're so stupid.
Gex: Think slowly
Air Jordans: ...
Air Jordans: No,
Air Jordans: NO
Air Jordans: THEY WERE REAL ROCKS???? BUT THEY DONT LOOK LIKE PEBBLES??? THEY LOOKED SHINY AND COLOURFUL
Hello: They were big stalactite formations before. I found them in caves and clearings
Hello: I shrunk them down and collected them. I put some glitter on them
Hello: I thought they looked nice.
Soft & Wet: You know who ELSE looks nice? Kaibara. I'm so jealous of his boy band looks
[FLASHBACK END]
Kan: Kaibara please focus
Kaibara: Sorry, sorry, yeah
[FLASHBACK]
Air Jordans: I can't believe you fed me STALACTITE ROCKS, Kodai! I don't even know what stalactite IS! But I know it can't be good for you!
Soft & Wet: What's the big deal? They'll just pass, right?
Air Jordans: Yeah, but it's the principle!
Not Emo: Wait a second... What if they get bigger again while they're still inside him
Air Jordans: What
Burp: Wait shit you're right. Kodai is there a time limit?!
Hello: No. Things I shrunk usually only get bigger when I touch my hands back together.
Gex: Okay, phew. Well there you have it. You're safe dude.
Air Jordans: What
Beyblade: Yeah. We just.
Beyblade: Have to make sure Kodai doesn't touch her hands together in the next 12 hours.
Air Jordans: What
Burp: Or Tsuburaba will literally explode.
Air Jordans: What
Horny: Oh. This is scary... Tsuburaba, you might die
Gex: Not helping, Pony.
Air Jordans: I'm. Going to die?
Air Jordans: I just wanted to eat some rock candy, dude..... Now I'm going to die......
Air Jordans: Oh my god I'm GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
Shoda: Okay, Tsuburaba relax. You're fine. Kodai will just be careful not to activate her quirk for the rest of the day.
Beyblade: What if she does it accidentally? Like when she's washing her hands or something
Shoda: Then Tsuburaba dies.
Air Jordans: I'M GOING TO DIE
Air Jordans: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT TOKAGE
Gex: ME?!?
Air Jordans: YOU DIDNT WARN ME THEY WERE ROCKS!!!
Gex: I DIDNT SEE YOU EAT THEM, DIPSHIT!
Gex: How is it my fault?! I didn't even do anything!
Bruce Lee: I hate to suggest this, but what if we restrain her so she physically can't touch her hands together
Bruce Lee: Like just restrain one hand. Just until Tsuburaba is safe
Shoda: Its a bit extreme but I guess we could try that... If Kodai is comfortable.
Shoda: Yui?
Hello: Idk
Air Jordans: I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE
Air Jordans: YUI PLEASE
Hello: I don't really mind. Okay
Shoda: Alright, we just have to figure out a way to restrain her in a way thats painless and comfortable
Vine: Sorry, brother Shoda, I overheard a conversation. You need to restrain Sister Kodai's hands, yes?
Vine: I might be able to help with that...
Shoda: Uh, sure. What's your idea?
Vine: Well, do you remember when we were deciding on the school festival play
Shoda: Right, the Romeo and Juliet Phantom of the Opera Star Wars Crossover AU Fanfic that Monoma wrote
Vine: Well, we voted. I suggested we do Passion of the Christ
Shoda: Yeah and you lost the vote by like 2
Vine: I still have the cross and all the props we could have used. I have them stored in the theater department
Main Character: Shiozaki
Main Character: Are you suggesting we nail Kodai to a Cross and CRUCIFY HER????
Vine: When you say it like that it sounds barbaric! We wouldn't be nailing her, I would just tie her to it with my vines!
Main Character: IT IS BARBARIC! NAME ONE PERSON WHO WAS CRUCIFIED AND LIVED
Vine: ...Well... I mean...
Main Character: Okay fine name One OTHER person BESIDES Jesus
Hello: I don't mind
Main Character: SHODA??? DO SOMETHING YOURE IN CHARGE!
Shoda: Uhhhhh, I guess we'll do a vote?
Main Character: A vote on whether or not we CRUCIFY Kodai???
qjajslfff: Do you have a better idea?
Main Character: YES
Main Character: They're serving bran muffins in the cafeteria today. We just go there, grab a bunch of bran, some plums, get some laxatives from Recovery Girl, and give them to Tsuburaba.
Burp: So our options are Crucify Kodai or Drug Tsuburaba
Shoda: I'll accept it. Let's vote on it and see which plan we go forward with
Shoda: Who here thinks it's a good idea to restrain Kodai?
[FLASHBACK END]
Kan: And you all VOTED in favor of it?
Kaibara: Not ALL of us! We were split even 50/50. We would have had Kendo do the tiebreaker but it was her day off. Awase was resting after he fought Todoroki. Then we asked Tetsu but he's upset that Endeavor-Sensei is leaving.
Kaibara: So it was a deadlock
Kan: So which plan did you all choose?!
Kaibara: ...Both?
Kaibara: Both. Kinda.
Kaibara: Monoma and Team Drug Tsuburaba didn't want Kodai to be crucified so they went to the cafeteria to grab some muffins and drugs for him.
Kan: Oh No.
Kaibara: Meanwhile Shiozaki kinda went overboard. She had Kamakiri, Shishida and Bondo help her carry the cross from the Theater Department and then after she restrained Kodai she got carried away.
Kaibara: She made everyone in her team wear these cherub angels costumes and reenact the Crucifixion. She had all the chairs set in pews and put a whole altar for Yui. Everyone had to attend.
Kaibara: So Monoma's team came back and realized Shiozaki had tied Kodai to the cross, so he went to Class A and got a bunch of their students to go free her.
Kaibara: Shiozaki was able to convince Komori to help her, Kuroiro switched sides and joined Shiozaki's team when he saw Komori joined.
Kaibara: Then when he told her Monoma was preparing for war she convinced Kamakiri to help her so he could finally have the challenge of taking on 20 students at once in a free for all, and he agreed immediately.
Kaibara: Shoda tried to stop them but I think Monoma took his phone and locked him in his room for leaving it to a vote. Then he kicked everyone not on his team from the group chat.
Kan: And now they're still fighting.
Kaibara: Yeah we’ve been at it for a while.
Kan: We? Youre fighting too?
Kaibara: Team Crucify Kodai, represent.
Kaibara: I really didn't want Kodai to accidentally kill him.
Kan: I see.
Kan: Thank you Kaibara. My plane has landed and I've just stepped out the airport.
Kan: Go tell Tsuburaba you love him.
Kan: I’ll take it from here.
Kaibara: Sir?
Kaibara: Are we in trouble sir?
Kan: You have no idea.
PRIVATE MESSAGES: Sekijirou Kan / Shota Aizawa (10:20 PM)
Kan: Still on the road?
Aizawa; Yeah we got held up in traffic, sorry.
Kan: No, that's perfect.
Kan: I'm outside the airport. Come pick me up.
Aizawa: You sure you wanna do this?
Kan: I gotta go whip my kids in shape.
Aizawa: No rest for us teachers huh
Kan: No, but it's good to be back.
Chapter 21: Return of the King
Summary:
Kan and Aizawa break up the insanity in the dorms.
Notes:
This one I was debating even writing, honestly, I think the cliffhanger of the first part works really well and you can just kinda piece together how Kan would solve things himself, but I was on a long train ride home and I figured I had nothing better to do than finish this plotline cleanly lol. This is your bonus chapter, another almost entirely set outside of the Groupchat.
Chapter Text
The car screeched to a halt outside the dorm rooms. Kan was already halfway out the door before Mic hit the brakes, nearly jumping out of the vehicle as it was still moving.
"Need backup?" asked Hizashi.
"Eraserhead can come" he replied, "Hizashi, you're a fun adult. Not a discipline adult"
"Completely fair"
Aizawa stepped out of the car himself, throwing his binding cloth around his neck "So whats the plan? Go in and restrain them all?"
"Tempting, but no. Too many of em" Kan marched towards the door calmly, "Theyre fighting over Kodai. We might be able to grab her to get most of them to stop fighting. I can do that on my own. I need you to restrain one student in particular while I do that"
"Monoma?" He guessed.
"No, Monoma's not too difficult. He'll probably fold as soon as he sees I'm here. But one of them will keep fighting until you physically hold them down, he probably won't even notice that we have Kodai," he turned to face Eraserhead, "Kamakiri. Please restrain him, and whatever students of yours might also be liable to getting carried away"
"I can do that". Aizawa slipped on his visors.
They paused just outside the door, the sound of the free for all circus inside clearly audible as furniture broke and quirks went wild.
"And Aizawa?"
"Yeah?"
"Drinks are on me after this"
"They're always on you. You never let us pay"
Kan chuckled "I guess that's true, isn't it"
Kan formed a battering ram from his own blood and broke the door down, charging straight through the brawling students at astonishing speeds heading directly for the cross holding Kodai. He created a blade from his blood in his free hand and slashed through all the vines at once, hauling Kodai and the cross over his shoulder.
"I WILL SMITE YOU ALL DOWN, WEAKLINGS!" Declared a voice from behind Kan. Holding the cross and the battering ram made it difficult for him to turn to face Kamakiri as he leaped in the air, blades drawn, zooming towards him.
Suddenly his blades retracted back into his skin, as a scarf shot out and wrapped him tightly in their folds, he fell to the ground with a 'CRASH!' Kan looked back to flash a smile at Aizawa, then turned back around to the rest of the students.
"ALRIGHT, THATS ENOUGH!" He ordered. His commanding voice reverberated throughout the entire common hall. All the students turned to face him.
"K-Kan Sensei?! You're here?" A panicked voice could be heard from the far corners. Kan met Monoma's gaze and looked back sternly.
"This room is a mess, you're all injured and you've broken dozens of the rules we set," Aizawa reprimanded, as he came up behind Kan, dragging Kamakiri along the ground behind him like a pinata, "I don't know how long this has been going on for, but its over now."
"But Aizawa-sensei! THEY started it!" Protested Kaminari.
"I am well aware of the situation, Kan explained it to me on the way here. I'm also well aware of how eagerly Class A will jump at the opportunity to turn a chaotic situation even crazier. I taught you all to be problem solvers and peacemakers. Instead you saw Class B fighting and thought it'd be a good idea to join in"
"But Mr Aizawa-!" Mina whined.
"Do you even know WHY you're fighting, Ashido?"
Mina began to reply, then paused a bit to think, then seemed to raise her finger again to start a sentence, then paused again.
"We're... Deciding who takes the blame for the clogged showers?"
"No."
"Damn. That was my guess."
"It was a good guess, sis" said Yanagi.
"Thank you! I thought so too"
"This all STARTED over a mistake one of my students made. They ate something they shouldn't have" Kan started.
"Been there" Mineta interjected.
"...And then began to panic, causing the rest of the class to panic," Kan continued, "Speaking of, where IS Tsuburaba?"
Tokage walked into view from upstairs, "He's in his room with Sen they're making out or something. I heard a lot of crying"
Tsuburaba and Kaibara were indeed in Kosei's room, where they were found both crying, repeating how much they meant to each other as they hugged each other tightly. Neither of them would ever admit or acknowledge this happened ever again.
Tsuburaba was brought to the common room. When he saw Vlad his heart sank "Oh man. I'm in trouble aren't I"
"Not yet." Kan was helping Kodai out of her restraints on the wooden cross. Kodai rose to her feet, still relatively unfazed by the entire experience.
"Okay Kodai," Kan directed "Do you want to expand the rocks in Tsuburaba's stomach?"
"...No"
"Why not?"
"That would hurt him."
"Good. Now put your fingers together"
"Wait, WHAT?!" Tsuburaba interjected, "KAN SENSEI NO PLEASE WAIT I'M SORRY PLEASEDONTKILLME-"
"Kodai. Look at me. Put your fingers together"
Kan gently took Kodai's hands and moved them together. Kodai didnt resist. The entire room full of students gasped audibly.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM GOING TO DIE NO NO NO HOLY FUCK NOOOOOOOoooooooooooo...oooo.. ?" Tsuburaba suddenly realized he was in fact, still alive.
"An emitter quirk can't activate accidentally. You need to be consciously thinking of activating and using it." He explained, as he helped Tsuburaba up to his feet, "Otherwise, Kodai, you would just be shrinking or enlarging everything you touch. You'd have to wear special gloves. Very few emitter quirks work without the users intent"
The room breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"Oh, thankgod" Tsuburaba heaved.
"Alright, now, the rest of you, clean this mess up. Now!" Kan switched back to his stern voice. The students all scrambled as they began to collect the furniture they had thrown or broken, sweep the floor & clean the walls.
"Am I in trouble, Kan-sensei...?" Tsuburaba asked sheepishly.
"Kosei, my boy," Kan answered as he put his hand on Tsuburaba's shoulder, "You thought you were in danger, but you didn't attack or hurt any of your fellow students. You isolated yourself in your room hoping it would come to pass, as terrified as you were. You and Kodai are the only ones here NOT in trouble"
"Oh wow, okay" Tsuburaba seemed relieved, "Wow, I'm not gonna die AND I'm not in trouble either!"
"Your classmates, however." Kan turned back to the rest of the students in the common area with a more serious expression. Just on time, the door opened up and Kendo, still wearing her spa robe waltzed in followed by Yaoyorozu and Todoroki.
"No but she was SO cute. I told her she was cute and she had the most ADORABLE reaction, Momo. She paused what she was doing and her face went all red-" Kendo stopped mid-sentence as she took in the sight of the totaled common area and Kan and Aizawa in the middle looking quite cross. Her face blushed sheepishly as she smiled, nervous "Oh, hey Kan-sensei. You're here earlier than I expected."
______________________
Rock Eaters Groupchat (7:43 PM)
Shiozaki: Honestly, Community Service really isnt that bad.
Gex: For FIVE HOURS A DAY, GIRL!!
Shiozaki: We're keeping our beautiful city clean, picking up trash, serving our community
Big Sis: I was gone for ONE day. ONE DAY!!
Hello: I lost my cool rocks :(
Shoda: I'm sorry, are we just gonna ignore that Monoma TIED ME UP IN A CLOSET?
Main Character: I regret nothing.
Scyther: I don't regret anything either I would do it all AGAIN
Shoda: Okay, cool, nobody cares. Just checking.
Air Jordans: Dude
Air Jordans: I fucking love being alive